Should I allow my girlfriend to meet her ex in this situation

[4dvz]

You guys are propably right, I`m being too kind for her. Actually I did once read a scientifical research about this:
When you constantly treat a woman as good as you can, it turns against you. If a woman would do that to a guy it would cause only good things to happen. Can`t remember the whole story but yeah that`s it in a nutshell..

But you know, I have tried to be cold against her several times earlier, I have tried to act like I wanted to break up with her. I`ve got responses such as: "You`re not forced to be with me." "Maybe then we`re not ment for each other." "Go ahead." It just doesn`t work the way I´d want it to work.. But still around once in a month she comes to me saying how genuinely sorry she is for treating me like she has done.
And basically I can`t seriously fight with a woman I love, I can`t say those things to her that I know I should, that`s just me. It comes for me naturally to put her above everything else, try to end up all the fights before they are born, and I love to see the smile on her face when I treat her better than anyone else propably would. I just can`t say anything really bad for her, I have tried but words won`t come out of my mouth.

There is another serious issue too.. If I wanted to leave her, I would need her to leave me. We live in the same apartment, about everything we own is owned by us both. Only thing that is 100% mine is my computer, clothes etc. Same goes for her too.. I could not afford to move, I have really low incomes and I have quite a pile of debt on me.

I just wish things would turn around somehow, because we have so much good between us too and it`s been only like a week since she last time said how much she loves me. But a bit by bit all the good things are decreasing, and I can see our relationship permanently drifting apart if she meets her ex. This is such a big crossroad here, because for me it determines her whole attitude towards our relationship. And for her, she sees this situation as me being overly jealous, but I think my point about her ex is correct, this time I won`t tolerate her behaviour anymore.. I just hope she understands that this is not only about her having one cup of coffee with her ex, it reflects so much more, what I have tried to tell her but she doesn`t understand.

[4dvz]

And yes since her ex contacted her, I have been 100% sure that everything is not right about the case. Such bs OC-drama from the guy wtf.. I mean, "bohooo I just broke up with my girlfriend and tried to kill myself, would you meet up with me and give me some sympathy altough we haven`t seen each other in 1,5 years?"

If I knew it wouldn`t make my gf to hate me, I would find the guy in my hands and personally make sure he gets what he wanted earlier, this time for real.

And this whole case is full of s... My gf HATED him, I mean, every discussion we had about him was my gf telling how much the guy sucked and she never ever again wants to hear anything about him. And when he had contacted my gf earlier, she just told him to move on and never contact her again.
And now she is willing to forgive everything, it`s just unbeliavable..

[Wiredbomb0]

From my point of view, if she is meeting with her "EX" (just wanted to make it stand out), then really, she has no idea how she is making you feel and secondly, it's just asking for problems. If she hates him, then why is she seeing him? Seems to me that she might not be truthful on her account.

[4dvz]

From my point of view, if she is meeting with her "EX" (just wanted to make it stand out), then really, she has no idea how she is making you feel and secondly, it's just asking for problems. If she hates him, then why is she seeing him? Seems to me that she might not be truthful on her account.

She hated him until he contacted her and said that he tried to commit a suicide, and poof all of the sudden she doesn`t hate him anymore.
I have told her how does it make me feel that she wants to meet him, but she says that it doesn`t concern me and I shouldn`t care, and she totally ignores how bad I feel about it, and only says that I`m the last person who should feel bad here.

I don`t suspect my girlfriends words, and I believe that she really believes the stuff she says about the whole case, but she just doesn`t understand this from our relationship`s perpective at all, and she is now all about symphatizing her ex.

[4dvz]

And I just can`t stand the way how easily can the ex abuse the whole scenario. In the past my girlfriend has straight-out refused to meet him under any circumstances, and now he has found a key to back into my girlfriends head.
I just can`t stand it, neither how easily my girlfriend allows this to happen and how easily can that bastard take advantage of the situation, whether it was true or not.

And the worst is that my gf doesn`t even see what`s about to happen. I believe that she has no clue, that if she would meet her ex, it would not be over with just that one time. Who knows if that loser will start to make more phone calls begging for more sympathy, and make my girlfriend want to meet her again afterwards. If it would go to that point, our relationship would be over no matter what, if my girlfriend allows it to happen.

[vashti]

You guys should consider absolute hatred for an ex to be a red flag. If a girl is "over" a guy, she doesn't hate him - she is emotionally neutral. Hatred is a strong emotion, and you don't muster up strong emotions for people you don't care one way or the other about.

I'm sorry to say it, dvz, but I think she was never really over this guy.

[4dvz]

My gf had all the logical reasons to hate this person, and to still hate. He for example after they broke up he trash talked my girlfriend to their shared friends, and refused to pay back a moderate sum of money that she owe to my girlfriend. There`s other stuff as well but I`m not going to go through them.

And my gf was the one who left her ex, who at the first months of our relationship was trying to hang in my gf`s life, but then gave up and vanished.

I actually have atleast two ex girlfriends who I will always hate in some level, because I can never forgive them for something they did. Yet it doesn`t mean that I`m not over them.