I believe you should go and talk to S and discuss the situation. If you love someone then you should let the other person know and even try to know what went wrong last time. This will help you two ways
1- You won't regret in future that you dint tried.
2- If he brokes your heart then you know very well that you have no option and you have to build up your own self esteem.

Start living your life and don't take it for granted

Tip: Get some cats