Never cheated on any woman in my life, but when I find my 1st true love I DO THIS...?

[misombra]

HA! Serves your ass right. You reap what you sow.

[Emerald_City206]

Well I'll tell you what my take is on your cheating. Your expectations were pretty high with her, jumping in with such strong feelings so soon, which can knock a relationship off balance. People use cheating as an escape, like from their insecurities of their relationship caused by certain expectations not being fulfilled. It was scaring you at the fact that she would skirt around the topic of planning the future. Obviously this was very important to you, for planning the future marked going to the next level in your relationship. To you this lead to suspicion, and doubt....you were questioning if she truly loved you or not. And maybe thought you weren't man enough for her to consider marriage. So now the fear sets in that things may not be what they seem, your plans may not happen, maybe feeling a little emasculated by it you turn to other women to make you feel like a man....to feel desired is to feel power.....feed your ego. It's not very long lived so you seek out another woman to get that feeling back. You have never cheated before because you never have been faced with a situation like this before. So hopefully with therapy you will be able to prevent this from happening again...that you will learn to deal with these things in a more constructive way.


Just my 2 cents....

Yeah That is very close how I felt. I do hope this therepy helps me. It already has started to help. It hurts knowing I hurt her in that way. Yes... maybe I did put alot of my feelings into it very quickly. But I have never felt like that before. It's not like I forced myself to fall for her. My feelings for her naturally increased as we spent time together. And it got to the point where "I"wanted to use the L word, and I HAVE EVER SAID TEH L WORD to any WOMAN AND MEANT IT LIKE I DID WITH HER.

Thank you for your sound advice. I do hope and I plan on making sure I dont ever do stupid things like that again. I am forever ashamed and disgusited by my actions. And I hope I remember the way that I feel right now, forever.

[Emerald_City206]

HA! Serves your ass right. You reap what you sow.

Yup.... I cant argue with that. I am reaping alot right now. Just wish I could have made this dumb mistake when I was younger...

[Emerald_City206]

I have learned alot from reading the posts that have been accumulating here. Most everything that has been posted is true. The thing that has really stuck with me the most is the fact that I have to be thankful that I am now being given a chance to change. I have to be thankful for the fact that my problem did come to the light, and that instead of continuing my acitons, I will have the oppurtunity to grow from them. I beleive that in many ways I have already changed, and I know that I have so much more room to grow. I know no one really knows the real me or who I am. I'm sure thats probably a good thing.

I've never hurt any women like this before, and at the same time, I've never had such a "great" woman in my life. Even though she couldn't confront me that was her problem and not mine. I can only take care of my own problems. I am trying really hard no to do so. And I am still trying to accept the fact its over... Its hard I am still in the SHOCK and DISBELIEF stage. I know I need to try harder to put it behind me..... its not easy when you put so much of yourself into some and something you thought was always going to be there That was another mistake I made, getting waaay to comfortable. So much shame is on me now. Put its deserving, I have never done this, and now I know what its like. Horrible. Wrong. All those words under the sun.

I hope that who ever reads this it can help them communicate more with there spouse. And even if something isn't right talk to your spouse. And if its really bad, do what I WANTED TO DO AND SHOULD HAVE DONE!! Go seek Counsling EVEN IF IT MEANS YOU GO BY YOUR SELF!! YOU have to work on yoruself and when ou start that CONFESS TO YORU SPOUSE! IF SHE REALLY CARES SHE WILL LISTEN AND SEE THAT YOUR taking actions to help yourself.

Should have, could have, would have if I knew things were going to go down this way. I still pray that one day she decides to talk to me. But I know that I probably want that a lot more than she does. And I have to accept the fact if she dosen't want to ever speak again. Again that is her choice in not wanting to talk about things. I hope that doesn't hurt her in other things in life. I still and always will wish the best for her.