Crossroads: Engagement or Break Up...Oustide opinions please.

[cheekxxs]

You are running around the bush to much. next time get to the point.

and if you are not ready dont do it.

just be honest and you can also postpone the wedding for 1 year or more later.
who knows feelings between you 2 change in that period also.

All those porn and sex stuff you are saying sounds to me like you like the dirty road.
i dont think you can ever be a men to trust , while those are your biggest concern.

[IndiReloaded]

You aren't compatible. I don't see why people need to devolve into calling her names (crazy) or you, whatever one wants to call it. I agree with the post that said you know what you need to do. So do it. She'll be hurt and freak out and drama... etc. But in the end you will both be happier for it. Listen to your gut and those red flags. Ask anyone whose been through a divorce and they'll *all* tell you there were flags but they (stupidly, cowardly) ignored them. Marry her and you are 99.99% guaranteed to become another divorce statistic. That, or one of you will give up something crucial to make it work, which is not better than divorce, IMO. Soul destroying those (I hesitate to call them) 'relationships' are. I speak from hard-won experience.

Good luck.

[smackie9]

People end their relationships everyday so it's time you grow a set.

Your best bet is to move out without her knowing it to avoid drama and breakage. Then tell her you are sorry but you can't do this anymore, and that you don't see yourself getting married to her. You are tired of being pushed around, and to be fair it would be best if it didn't go any further and waste everyone's time. Then wish her all the best.

[dem862]

Don't worry about her. She'll probably find another guy pretty quickly who is ready to settle down, if she is really extremely attractive, successful career, and is very loyal. Some guys enjoy being lead around by a woman. You will get your freedom back, which it sounds like you value more highly. Good luck to both of you.

[searock]

There is no "easy" way to break up. Just do it, the longer you wait the harder it gets. Whose house is the one you are living in? If it's yours, tell her you want to break up and she has a week to move out. If it's hers, tell her you want to break up and you are moving out as soon as possible. The dog is yours (unless she wants to keep it and you don't). It will be hard at first, but it will only get better, and you'll be glad you won't have wasted any more time in a miserable relationship.

[ThomasJefferson]

freaking hilarious video--i can relate 100%. I can also relate with the relationship dynamics of the husband & wife in the first hangover movie. Anyway, took everything everybody said into consideration and appreciate the feedback. It's very important to get a fresh perspective from the outside world. We tend to get so consumed by the rules of the relationship--that it can cloud our judgement over time. I'm ready to end the relationship and finally escape this state of inertia. And hopefully free my girlfriend to find a guy that will accept her for who she is. Throughout this whole process, I've come to the painful realization that I have been holding my girlfriend hostage via vague promises much longer than necessary because I have some deep rooted insecurities myself:

a). I have a girlfriend with many "on the surface" desireable qualities that other dudes are dying to get their hands on.
b). Having a "trophy" girlfriend must have stroked my ego and built up my self esteem

But something I've learned over the last 3 years...it doesn't matter how physically attracted to somebody you are...if you aren't compatible...you aren't compatible. That will never change...
thanks again...

[smackie9]

LOL! I wish I had that vid a few years ago....I know someone who needed to see it.

[IndiReloaded]

I've always thought a timely, amicable breakup is much better than an acrimonious one well past its expiry date.

Don't burn bridges, be honest about things. Who knows what the future may bring? You might even get back together someday. Don't count on it (or lead her down this path, keep this thought to yourself), but set things up for the possibility.