why would I have been sitting here typing paragraphs if i dont want a serious relationship?
A serious relationship is one based on being in the room with whom you're wanting the relationship with... Typing to someone "are you wet yet" and rubbing one out is a fantasy. So are all the words he's talked out with you and you he because words without action are just words.
If you were not afraid of commitment then you would let go of this bullshit "thing" you are addicted to having with him, you'd get your ass off the computer, you'd stop waiting online for his attentions and you'd go out with your friends to meet men.... wait for it ...
... IN PERSON.
You are afraid of commitment or you are social inept one or the other and that's why this online sexting this is soooo important to you. You don't have to actually commit when you aren't actually in his company, EVER.
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Like I said earlier... He'll have you caming topless and doing your "show" for him in no time at all.
Naïve? Foolish? Gullible? Not sure which one applies most to you but they all apply.
.. Are you Indian?
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If it seems like I'm hounding you its because I am.
You shortchange yourself in life by clinging to and trying to get back the "magic" you had with your fantasy man when you could be out there meeting real live boyzzz who you can touch, kiss, smell, do things with, share with AND talk to and confide in which is really much better then the one dimensional online masturbation you hope to recoup with this douche.
“The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion