Lying - Enough is Enough

[independent]

You're right. I guess it just helps to believe I was loved. Or that I am loved. Or that I am loveable, even. As for him appealing to women - he appealed to me in that way two years ago *sigh*


He phoned tonight and asked me why I am so upset (I am sure it is obvious - especially between two people who have spent so much time together). I did admit that I wasnt happy about him calling at one in the morning. He said "I'm sorry... that I called you like I said I would". Which I replied was NOT an apology. It was a smart alleck remark.

I said something towards what he was doing last night, and asked him why he even bothered to say "I'll call you when I'm done". He just got mad and said he wasnt going to argue with me (which is how he ends a conversation when he knows he is wrong - even if I am not being argumentative). But I guess now he knows that I know - or at least assumes it.

I really dislike being so out of sorts.

[whaywardj]

It's REALLY frustrating to feel so imposed upon and not have any way to redress it which doesn't offend your sensibiities. Leaves one having to stuff herself when she might rather go down the block with sledge hammer, busting out car windshields.

A little something physical, maybe? Running, perhaps?

BTW, the more you tell us about his calls, the angrier I become. He smacks of trolling out the "innocent, I'm so confused" lure. Ignore him. Please. His whole purpose now seems to be to keep you off balance, wherein he imagines he might find an opening. Like a rat scurrying into a hole.

[independent]

Yes, I love to work out (bought a Gazelle for the house a couple of months ago) and I am hoping I feel well enough by tomorrow to get back to that as it helps tremendously. I can work out pretty much ANY thought on that thing! (laugh)

I feel somewhat the same about his calls, and his general actions and reactions. He called again a bit later, this time sounding very very sad (not defensive and aggravated as before) and "just wanting to say that he loved me and he was sorry". If I wasnt already feeling so detached (due to lack of trust from the deceit and betrayal) it would keep me in a spin. As it is, I believe I am looking at things more objectively now... I do think he is trying to manipulate me. Not sure what his agenda is now though.

What a mess I've gotten myself into. I have to put an end to this for both our sakes.

[whaywardj]

LOL! Sorry for seeming unsympathetic. But just had a vision behind that post of you dancing around a stove, frantically slapping at a flaming pan with a burning dish towel.

I'd hazard he gets to the feeling sad part around his 5th or 6th beer. I anticipate a more drunken call later.

Bets, anyone?!

[independent]

LOL! Sorry for seeming unsympathetic. But just had a vision behind that post of you dancing around a stove, frantically slapping at a flaming pan with a burning dish towel.

I didnt get that - but it did make me laugh!


As for the drinking, he isnt tonight that I am aware of. I can usually tell by his tone. Besides, he is at his sisters and she doesnt tolerate that.

This is just pretty much his pattern. If I am upset about anything, he turns it back around on me so that he is the one that is upset. It's a manipulation to side-step issues.

[whaywardj]

"...put an end to this.." = "putting out the fire"

Yeah. The drunk remark was a little catty. Apologies. His evident BS just makes me angry and want to punch him out. I took a swipe at him through the board, just to let off some steam.

[independent]

Aha - I get it now hehe

No apology necessary. I'm putting all of this out on a public forum, anyway - anyone can post any thoughts they like LOL. Initially I found it very helpful just to type it all out... but I've come to really think a lot of this community as a whole.


Back to my nutty dilemma - I am realizing now that I should have never answered the phone last night. It would have avoided so much...

*sigh*

I know this much: it will be a long damn time before I ever even think about getting myself "involved" again. Ack!

[whaywardj]

Damn! And here was trying to be so helpful with that very hidden agenda in mind.

[independent]

Lol