Paying

[celestialxs]

I agree with this. I think she's trying to keep it a "just friends" thing by paying for herself so you don't try to grope her at the end of the evening. She's maintaining control.

She's also an idiot, in my book, unless you thought you were on a date and she didn't. What were the circumstances?

I was thinking along the same lines. I went out on a semi-blind date once and we agreed ahead of time to split the cost of a movie. Well, when I got there, he refused to let me pay for my end and, also, kept trying to make moves on me the whole time. I kind of got the feeling that, since he was paying, he felt entitled to something. I'm not saying all guys are this way, or that even my date was. I just felt a little mad that I wanted to start out our first (and only) date in the friend mode and he wouldn't listen.

Also, it could be (and this is a long shot) that this woman once dated a man who accused her of being a gold digger or materialistic because he paid for everything. I had a couple boyfriends that did that to me so now it's very hard for me to let a guy buy me stuff. It drives my current guy crazy when I don't let him buy me stuff, but I'm working on it. So far, I'm okay when he buys me food, but the more expensive stuff is harder for me to get used to.

Anyway, just some thoughts. I'd say the best thing is to ask, but not probe too much, as to why this woman doesn't want to let you pay. That's probably the beginning to working out an arrangement that works for both of you. Good luck!

[alidile]

i NEVER let guys pay for me unless we are already deep in relationship.
this is because i find that people end up counting things or bringing it up again later or feeling used at some point in time and then when i really don't have the cash on me i can be like you pay kinda deal. but it begs too much of the other person. sometimes i even pay for both people if i'm on a date i don't give a hoot really, it just makes it less ennerving for me to think about what they are thinking.

[Gigabitch]

i NEVER let guys pay for me unless we are already deep in relationship.
this is because i find that people end up counting things or bringing it up again later or feeling used at some point in time and then when i really don't have the cash on me i can be like you pay kinda deal. but it begs too much of the other person. sometimes i even pay for both people if i'm on a date i don't give a hoot really, it just makes it less ennerving for me to think about what they are thinking.

You, girlie, are about to win my award for Most Fascinating Poster Ever. You are such an interesting, complicated, full-on little control freak. Why do I like you so much?

[LostNotFound]

it wasnt a date

[alidile]

oh my... most interesting poster ever! i have a feeling i shouldn't smile at that.

[alidile]

at least i'm being very honest here :S

[vashti]

I am pretty sure giga was being genuine. Even though she calls herself "bitch", she really isn't one.

[alidile]

well then thank-you giga.

[Gigabitch]

You're welcome. Vashti's a filthy liar, though. I'm evil, down deep, and she knows it.

[alidile]

so my instincts were right.

[Gigabitch]

No. I'm evil, but I'm genuine.

[Mish]

Giga is a Teddy bear

With a couple of spikes glued on (For street cred)

[miSSleepy]

Because I want nothing to do with that kind of feminist. What other traditional roles is she going to strip from me? Am I going to be berated for sticking up for her? Is she going to bitch at my machismo code? I'm not interested in any of that.

I do agree with that, but her paying doesn't imply she's a raging femenist. During the early stages of my relationship I paid when I invited or initiated something and he paid when he initiated. That's the way I was bought up. 3 Years on though, I will pay full if I feel that he has been forking out too much lately.