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Thread: Is he in love or are we good friends?

  1. #16
    Join Date
    Aug 2018
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    Female
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    TheEvilJester: your feedback is very precious, thank you for being so supportive. You are right, actually! Surprisingly, I didn't realize that our bond is probably strong enough to survive again no matter what I confess or not.
    Anyway I may ask at least a clarification from him, I think there's nothing wrong with that; I mean, asking him why his behaviour looks so different after his confession, even tough he corrected it afterwards. I want at least to let him know that it is disorienting for me.
    I have more than one clue, lately he's even giving me sweet nicknames, how could it be totally casual...I swear, he never showed any kind of sweetness before his confession.

    Thank you!

  2. #17
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
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    I'm glad if I was able to help even in some small way. And I definitely think those are things you can ask him about as well. It's all about approaching it the right way. Give yourself time to have an idea of what you want to say. Don't over-think it, of course, because then you'll probably just psyche yourself out and never actually say anything. But, at least have a general outline in your mind. A goal, essentially, of what you want to know/achieve from the discussion.

    But, also, go in as best you can with an open mind, and with understanding he's a person too. Maybe he will feel the same way, maybe he won't. Be ready for either end result, and willing to understand that he's not wrong either way, just as you are not wrong either. Just as you weren't wrong when you liked him as more then a friend but he didn't feel the same way. Just as you weren't wrong when the situation was reversed. Etc. etc.

    To me, it sounds like you are open to being friends with him no matter the end result. I could be wrong, but it sounds like even if you talk to him about this and he DOESN'T want anything more than a friendship, it sounds like you could see still being his friend. So, from your side, there's nothing to lose. Hopefully he would feel the same way no matter what. Certainly seems that way given all you two have been through as friends. Certainly don't make that call just based on me/my advice, but if it feels right to you as well. But, again, it seems to me like you two have already been through quite a bit as friends and still came back to each other.

    I sincerely do hope this works out for you in whatever way turns out to be best. Maybe that means you too kooky kids finally do give it an honest go. Maybe it means you two ultimately decide you are just better as friends, and you both move on to find the love of your lives in other people, while still be close, cherished friends to each other. Either way, though, I hope you find your happiness sooner rather than later.

    Good luck!

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