should I marry him

[girl68]

I felt just like you did. Loved my ex dearly. But at the end of the day the love wasn't enough. To boot our sex life wasn't up to par with what I needed, and craved.

I used the phrase I feel like I've exhausted trying to change myself and asking you to change.

At the end of the day he was crushed I was crushed but I picked myself up a few years later I hear he's doing well, and I'm with the man that I'd always thought I'd end up with.

[irrelevant_89]

my 2 cents: you should have made this analysis of the situation 4 years ago. sorry. I mean, if there was no spark from the start why did you stay with him for so long? Because it was comfortable? Now it'll cost him a lot more to know the harsh truth....

... unless he shares your feelings somehow.

[doppelgaenger]

If that's all you have to say about your boyfriend after 5 years, you shouldn't even be in a relationship with him. Sounds like the description of someone after a few dates, honestly.

[Tallgeese]

Hi hun, you should not marry him if you do not feel a spark. The longer you are with someone, the less there is to find out and many times, it can get boring after a while. This is a bad sign that you are having these feelings now. It may hurt to see him hurt after you tell him no but it will hurt you even more if you say yes and do not mean it.

[Mish]

But the sparks would fizzle out after a few years of marriage, or am I wrong?

Yup most likely they would. In fact the sparks will most likely never be there after the first year or so regardless of the person you are with.

So here is a challenge for you Sniffle. Break up with this guy and look for someone better. You may never be able to find that someone and if you don't, accept that it's better to be single. Or bite the bullet and accept this guy for all that he is and isn't, but never complain about him again.

Which one will you choose?

[Aphik]

No way. Sexual chemistry is HUGE. Sex is the glue that holds couples together (in my opinion). It is the source of the intimate bond couples share. Without it, you will not be successful in a marriage, you'll just be miserable. Then your soulmate will come along, and there you'll be, stuck. I hope you go with your heart for your own sake. Marriage is a really big deal, and it's people being unsure about it and doing it anyway that contributes to the divorce rate. I'm 27 and unmarried, but I don't regret it, because I haven't found the right man yet. I almost got married twice (once for your reasons) and now that I'm out of those relationships I'm so grateful I didn't. Wait til you're sure. You won't regret it.

[TheTooya]

....

Look at the date of the last post.

2/3/2010

I'm not trying to be a dick here, but chances are your suggestions aren't reaching the original posters. Its generally a good practice to take a look at the date of the last poster. If its been over a month or two, chances are the person has read all the advice, and has moved on from this forum.