Intelligence Compatibility and The balance

[vashti]

I agree with you, gribble. Some of the most academically gifted people I know are two IQ points above retarded when it comes to interpersonal relationships.

[DoesntMatter]

I hated in high school when people called me smart. At my high school, a lot of kids didn't try, and many underestimated themselves greatly. Indi, you talked about how 70% of kids consider themselves highly intelligent, which I don't doubt at all. But at my school and where I lived in general many kids had really low self esteem. In other places kids seem to be so much more confident of their abilities.

So maybe for that reason I couldn't tolerate the label of being "smart"

[Off2College]

Don't set your expectations too high. Intelligence and hardwork goes hand in hand.

[IndiReloaded]

I hated in high school when people called me smart. At my high school, a lot of kids didn't try, and many underestimated themselves greatly. Indi, you talked about how 70% of kids consider themselves highly intelligent, which I don't doubt at all. But at my school and where I lived in general many kids had really low self esteem. In other places kids seem to be so much more confident of their abilities.

So maybe for that reason I couldn't tolerate the label of being "smart"

I'm reading this really interesting book at the moment that claims that current 'self esteem' training that is happening in schools is actually producing a generation of out-of-touch narcisists. Self-esteem isn't inherent, its earned through productive work & successful interactions with society.

I haven't decided if I agree with everything, but it certainly explains a lot of the behaviours I see around me.

[Charlie Boy II]

Indi can you do me a big *favour* and *stop* putting *stars* around every second *word* of *every* *single* *post*.

It's a litle jarring on the eye.

[IndiReloaded]

Indi can you do me a big *favour* and *stop* putting *stars* around every second *word* of *every* *single* *post*.

It's a litle jarring on the eye.

Sorry, this LT I'm on doesn't convert direct to bold, etc. like my other one does. Will stop.

[miSSleepy]

I look for someone who is intelligent, but I've never conciously measures it against myself. I guess I'm after someone around my level or higher - whatever that is.

I know people who had near perfect grades at school, and all through university. But they just 'suck at life' to be honest. Those things that they don't teach you academically just go straight over their heads.
I also know a total of TWO people who had near perfect grades and great academic achievements AND are extremely life-smart.

But I don't value book smarts as much as value life smarts

[Charlie Boy II]

I've been out with dumb girls and it's excruciating. The smarter the better in my books.

[Gigabitch]

I'm looking for emotional intelligence as much as IQ these days. My ex-husband was brilliant, but emotionally autistic.

No, thank you.

[squirrley]

I married an extremely intellegent attorney. HOWEVER, at times I wonder where his social skills are intelligent? It would be nice to find someone who fits our profile of what were looking for, the almost perfect mate, but in reality hmmm its a tad different. You take the good with the bad. Id prefer to have the better social skills relationship skills etc over book smarts, not necessarily to be on MY level, but at times I think WTF is he thinking?

I was with someone again who was completely book smart but dumb as shit in everything else. I would say Im not book smart but have those street smarts and social skills which I find more useful in daily living. I can hold my own in those intellectual conversations we have, but at times feel undermined because Im not at his level. My own insecurities. But I also like it because Im learning at the same time and growing as an individual.

[Michael6084]

when i look for someone, i go for someone who is logical. "smart" can mean a lot of things, but someone who can be logical is cool.