good at going up to girls? tell us how you manage it

[Austinn]

well yea I just dont like really the formal type dates to begin with, they just really arent my type of thing, I mean if I really really like a girl, I will do the dating stuff and all that, but im sorta in favor of doing away with the whole almost mandatory societal standard that you HAVE to go out to dinner with her and you have to do this this and that or you did it all wrong, I dont really buy that cup of tea so to speak, I view it as truly optional as to how you go about dating and getting to know the girl. Obviously though to others who dont think that way that would just sound terrible lol, but not to me.

[1averagejoe]

well yea I just dont like really the formal type dates to begin with, they just really arent my type of thing, I mean if I really really like a girl, I will do the dating stuff and all that, but im sorta in favor of doing away with the whole almost mandatory societal standard that you HAVE to go out to dinner with her and you have to do this this and that or you did it all wrong, I dont really buy that cup of tea so to speak, I view it as truly optional as to how you go about dating and getting to know the girl. Obviously though to others who dont think that way that would just sound terrible lol, but not to me.

I do agree with you that the dating and going out to dinner is a thing that society has made mandatory. But, keep in mind...it's not what just you want. But what she also wants. Sure there may be girls out there that feel the same way, but I'm also pretty sure a large amount of them won't.

Also most girls will get the impression that a guy is a wimp if he can't pick up the phone and call. I'm sure there are girls out there that won't...but why even take the chance?

[Austinn]

well I would call her, thats not really a prob for me, but like for instance, the last time I gave a girl my number who asked for it, she called me as soon as I got home lol and omg I had to talk to her for 2 hours!!! omg it was so boring and lame, she just wouldnt stop talking to me ughh, so I dont like that type of thing, texting to me is easier and more to the point imo, and doesnt let them tie you down with random stupid conversation.

[Pears]

Don't just let her talk. You can get to the point on the phone too.

[1averagejoe]

How to end a conversation on the phone...

"Alright, well nice talking to you but I got to go run off and do something. Talk to you later, bye."

Small white lie so you don't have to listen to the point where your ears bleed.

[Mish]

I hate phone conversations that never end. I'm glad my gf is not like that.

[GrkScorp]

so I dont like that type of thing, texting to me is easier and more to the point imo, and doesnt let them tie you down with random stupid conversation.

If you don't like talking to her.., then you should just not bother..

When you meet someone.., you WANT to talk to them.., you LOVE talking to them.., you HATE texts.., you want to hear their voice.., see them in person.., be personal.., conversationally intimate.., feel and get lost in the connection you both share.., and if that's not there.., then it's not a matter of preferring texts over talking.., it's a matter of finding someone else..

[Mish]

If you don't like talking to her.., then you should just not bother..

When you meet someone.., you WANT to talk to them.., you LOVE talking to them.., you HATE texts.., you want to hear their voice.., see them in person.., be personal.., conversationally intimate.., feel and get lost in the connection you both share.., and if that's not there.., then it's not a matter of preferring texts over talking.., it's a matter of finding someone else..

I know what you mean Scorp. Though some girls take that too far. As much as you love to hear their voice, 2 hours of conversation that doesn't end can be enfuriating. Especially when you try to end it, but they just don't give up and keep at it, arrgg. Sorry, memories

[GrkScorp]

Though some girls take that too far. As much as you love to hear their voice, 2 hours of conversation that doesn't end can be enfuriating.

That's funny.., reminds me of "The Rules" & "The Rules II"

Rule #5 - Don't call him.., and never return his calls
Rule #6 - Always end phone calls first.., and limit yourself to no more than 15 minutes!

[Mish]

That's funny.., reminds me of "The Rules" & "The Rules II"

Rule #5 - Don't call him.., and never return his calls
Rule #6 - Always end phone calls first.., and limit yourself to no more than 15 minutes!

What rules are these? I've never seen girls abide by them

(The ones who never return my calls wouldn't last for very long btw )

[vashti]

well yea I just dont like really the formal type dates to begin with, they just really arent my type of thing, I mean if I really really like a girl, I will do the dating stuff and all that, but im sorta in favor of doing away with the whole almost mandatory societal standard that you HAVE to go out to dinner with her and you have to do this this and that or you did it all wrong, I dont really buy that cup of tea so to speak, I view it as truly optional as to how you go about dating and getting to know the girl. Obviously though to others who dont think that way that would just sound terrible lol, but not to me.

This is nonsense. There are plenty of options for dating that don't include dinner. So what's the *real* problem? Are you broke, or what? And how old are you? You sound very young.

[anachronistic]

You know, it's so hard for people to just go up and introduce themselves because they have no confidence and they think they just have to come up with some kind of plan and slip a love potion into their drink when they aren't looking or something.

Confidence is realizing there is no such thing as a 'risk'. A 'risk' is self-created in the fear of expense.

Typical scaredy cats are too afraid to go up to a woman either because they are afraid of wasting their time, or because they think that is the only chance they will get and that she's the one, or whatever stupid bullshit excuse they have.

A confident guy doesn't give a shit about time. Time exists only if you care. A confident guy knows that the world is full of women and that he has a fair chance at meeting all kinds of women, women that most likely will not provide a long lasting relationship, but he does not care, because it's life, and ****, who cares?

Same thing with your job, you know. Tell them to hire a ****ing naked mole rat.

With that being said, I just talk with women like I do with everyone else. Women are humans, too, right? I don't care if they don't like me. If they don't, I'll just stop talking with them and move on, because I know that I am attractive enough and charming enough to 'woo' all kinds of women.

So just get out there, man. It's LIFE, now enjoy it.

[1averagejoe]

Because I'm bored, love this song, and kinda fits in with this thread.

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Qpn7XQil8A"]YouTube - John Mayer Say Alternate Version[/ame]

[GrkScorp]

What rules are these? I've never seen girls abide by them

(The ones who never return my calls wouldn't last for very long btw )

Yes.., that's quite obvious.., but apparently.., that's not the case for two very sexually frustrated authors.., who have had to settle for sex with the wrong man.., or too much self-pleasing in their lifetime.., and have developed a hate for the opposite sex.., that's ok.., that's natural.., nothing funny about that.., the funny part is.., the book they came out with..

[ame="http://www.amazon.com/Rules-TM-Time-Tested-Secrets-Capturing/dp/0446602744"]Amazon.com: The Rules(TM): Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right: Ellen Fein, Sherrie Schneider: Books[/ame]

When first reading the book.., as a guy.., you get some of the following thoughts running through your head.., "haha! is this book a joke?".., "this is exactly the kind of thing that would make me stop calling someone".., etc.., but after you read it for a second and third.., and perhaps fourth time.., you start to enjoy a wealth of far more valuable information..

1. Ellen Fein & Sherrie Schneider have no real theoretical evidence or supporting proof for their claims.., so they simply don't feel any shame in simply creating it out of thin air.., with small stories.., ever so conveniently hitting on all the right or wrong examples perfectly.., they just happen to know all these women.., with marriages that worked and happened.., only because these women followed "the rules".., or if things fell apart.., because these foolish women questioned and didn't follow "the rules".., and what makes both of them experts.., is not any actual experience with a wide variety of men.., or any kind of research.., or any kind of robust theory.., (but when women don't know sh*t and still feel the need to assert that they do know something.., they use the following credential.., "i'm a mother.., therefore I know".., but this would be the wrong book to use that.., so they reverted to the second best.., "i'm married.., therefore I know").., so.., their use of "evidence.., proof.., support.., etc" provides endless pages of humor to anyone reading..

"Friends and colleagues meet halfway. Men (real men) make things convenient for you. Invariably, we find that men who insist that their dates meet them halfway or pay for their own half of the date, turn out to be turds - inconsiderate and uncompromising; are these really the men you want to date?"

(Oh the irony.., How "inconsiderate" and "uncompromising" of him to ask that things be even.., fair.., equal.., and "halfway".., how "inconsiderate" and "uncompromising" of someone to dare consider anything less than paying fully for the entire date.., what would that make the person who isn't paying? Oops.., I think they might have forgot to think that one through..)

2. From the language they use.., patterns.., metaphors.., fear tactics.., playing on needs/wants/insecurities of their target audience.., they make a pretty strong sales pitch to the desperate.., uneducated.., and inexperienced little girl reading and learning about men for the first time.., it all makes sense.., seems like the truth.., because it's exactly what these readers want to hear.., (so.., why the hell would a guy read it? just to laugh at all the rules that supposedly work?) No.., for one.., a great collection of NLP examples all over the g-ddam book.., literally every single page..

"When you sleep with him on just the second date, you don't really know if he's going to be a gentleman or a creep. Men like a challenge, they don't respect women who have sex too soon (and they lose interest in these women). We wait until we're sure before having sex. The more you hold off having sex, the more he'll fall in love with you and want to marry you. Let's say that now, hopefully, you've held off for a while and are ready to have sex with him. Stay emotionally cool no matter how hot the sex. The fact is, that most women turn off men not only because they sleep with them too soon, but because they try and make sex a time where they hope to create emotional security and assure themselves of closeness. Don't be this woman. Sure, there are women out there who spoil men by having sex with them early and getting emotional with sex, and a few of these women might get married; but we can't guarantee that it will be a good marriage."

3. This is the perfect book for every guy to pick up.., and read to no end.., remember who the book is intended for.., the target audience.., is women.., looking to find Mr. Right.., this is like the Pentagon getting a copy of a terrorist blueprint.., it provides direct insight into all the needs.., wants.., fears.., and insecurities that women have.., the most major one being of course..

(childhood dream & fantasy of marriage) --> (natural desire for a man) --> (ego conflict.., unrealistic standards to make them feel better about themselves and make them feel "special".., "too good for anyone less than exceptional or perfect") --> (ignoring the quality of person they are.., and simply wanting "Mr. Right") --> (wondering how to get Mr. Right to fall in love with her) --> (wondering why men are interested in dating her) --> (wondering if men are interested in her for more than her looks.., and actually "love" her as a person) --> (a deep insecurity.., wanting to constantly be comforted.., assurance that Mr. Right "loves" her and "cares" about her) --> (waiting for the guy to take action.., show interest.., chase.., desire her.., want her.., be crazy about her.., etc.., because it directly comforts that insecurity)

(Note: this entire book.., sells all these bullsh*t "rules" (which I refuse to spell with capital letters.., like "G-d" as opposed to "g-d" for that extra punch of a false sense of "authority").., by hitting and playing on this insecurity CONSTANTLY throughout the entire book)

However.., it's a book filled with tons of useful information.., for men.., (although.., women may feel more than free to also read the book.., and run into Mr. Rights like Mish.., and see how far these "time-tested secrets" take them)

(Note: For a better understanding of all the NLP used throughout the book.., finish reading Igor Ledochowski's book first)

Best,

GrkScorp

[rogger]

think will be the best for u....!!!!!!!!!!!!!