Please help as fast as you can.

[theguy]

I can't do it, Ive been with alot of girls in the past, dates all sorts. I know this isnt her, something is wrong she wouldnt do this to me. She wouldnt.... something isnt right i cant give her up, what in the hell is wrong with me

[lesa]

Why on earth do you want that? Is she the best you can do? Are you willing to sacrifice your future for a person who wants to sex what she likes but marry what she loves?

She probably will turn out unfaithful throughout your relationship if you decide to go back to her. She is young and exploring and has to get it out of system hopefully, eventually.

[IndiReloaded]

Oh, for ****'s sake.

Okay, if I were God, I would slap you, hard. How DARE you diminish the gift you've been given, your precious own life, because some girl is playing you? What the ****?

Have you no sense of self-worth?

Thank you Giga.

TheGuy, you are a fool to throw away that scholarship.

If she loved you, truly, she would be encouraging you to go to that school. Hell, if I were her, I would break up with you & tell you I hated you if that's what it took to get you to go.

Think she wants to be with a loser, longterm? Ever think that, with you improving yourself, and that scholarship will HELP, that this will make you even more attractive to her?

Stop being her bitch. Start using your head & stop thinking with your penis. Remember there's only enough blood for one.

[IndiReloaded]

I can't do it, Ive been with alot of girls in the past, dates all sorts. I know this isnt her, something is wrong she wouldnt do this to me. She wouldnt.... something isnt right i cant give her up, what in the hell is wrong with me

In a nutshell, you are afraid to lose her. Christ, one day we will all be ****ing DEAD, get that? You, her, me, everyone on this forum & everyone you care about. One day, all gone.

So, this is small potatoes in comparison. People come & go in your life all the time. If you are meant to be, then let it happen (don't force it, like you are desperately trying to). But meantime, you have a responsibility to YOURSELF to be the best you can & make the most of your opportunities.

Take the damn scholarship. You are throwing away something you WILL regret later.

[theguy]

Okay, is what I have done is wrong?

I have told her over the last three to reconsider in person multiple times, she sent me a text at midnight last night that said "Goodnight. I love you!" This morning she called me and asked what I was going to do because as I mentioned I was considering moving. I told her that I decided Running from my problems was not the answer and that I was going to stick with what I started and continue my job because its my responsibility, and that in a month I would see where things are at. But then I told, that this is the last time I would ask her this, I asked her to "save us" because she is the only one who can at this point. I told she didnt have to promise me she would think about things, but to do so. I promised her that I would never mention this again, I would never ask her to reconsider, to rethink, or attempt to persuay her in anyway, but I knew that If she wants to save what we have it has to happen now before things get to far. Was that wrong of me, should I have let it die days ago, or was it okay for me to make it apparent that this would be the very last time I advised her to rethink things

[lesa]

In a nutshell, you are afraid to lose her. Christ, one day we will all be ****ing DEAD, get that? You, her, me, everyone on this forum & everyone you care about. One day, all gone.

Life seems so dreadful when put in those words.

But I live by that philosophy and am a much happier person strangely. I don't plan on doing any major stunts but I do see the brighter side of life more.

You are heartbroken guy and right now you need to use your brain and not your emotions.

[lesa]

Okay, is what I have done is wrong?

I have told her over the last three to reconsider in person multiple times, she sent me a text at midnight last night that said "Goodnight. I love you!" This morning she called me and asked what I was going to do because as I mentioned I was considering moving. I told her that I decided Running from my problems was not the answer and that I was going to stick with what I started and continue my job because its my responsibility, and that in a month I would see where things are at. But then I told, that this is the last time I would ask her this, I asked her to "save us" because she is the only one who can at this point. I told she didnt have to promise me she would think about things, but to do so. I promised her that I would never mention this again, I would never ask her to reconsider, to rethink, or attempt to persuay her in anyway, but I knew that If she wants to save what we have it has to happen now before things get to far. Was that wrong of me, should I have let it die days ago, or was it okay for me to make it apparent that this would be the very last time I advised her to rethink things

That's fine if you need that for your own closure.

[IndiReloaded]

Life seems so dreadful when put in those words.

Lesa, this pissed me off. Few things do, but this did. You're being a half-empty girl today. I view it as, Life is a Gift, so make the most of it.

I mean, really, if you aren't living, then what's the alternative, hmmm?

OP, get off your ass & do what you know is best. Stop being afraid. Everything will work out exactly as it should if you would just keep things in perspective.

Or, put another way: if you take the scholarship, there is still a chance you will get the girl. BUT, if you don't take it, it is gone forever, along with what opportunities it would have generated (LOTS!).

Either way, the girl will still be there. If she can't find it in herself to appreciate your self-improvement, then she's not frankly worth it anyway.

[IndiReloaded]

But then I told, that this is the last time I would ask her this, I asked her to "save us" because she is the only one who can at this point.

Dude, you are way into drahma.

You just want HER to fix your relationship problem. What do you really expect from her? This?

she said she imagines dropping her luggage and running to me once she shes me again

Honey, lots of ppl get this way about their First Love. Its a rite of passage. Just relax & go with the flow. Focus on your job, go to school (you won't need to interact with her that much even if you don't get back together). And, since noone has mentioned this yet, there are TONS of awesome girls at college. With your prospects & scholarship, I have the feeling that SHE will be the one with the worries once you get to see what else is out there.

It will be well. Don't worry & don't act so desperate as regards this ONE gal. Talk to your friends & family, they will tell you the same thing.

[lesa]

I view it as, Life is a Gift, so make the most of it.

I mean, really, if you aren't living, then what's the alternative, hmmm?

I agree and view life and living great as a gift. It is hard for guy to see that because he is heartbroken. If he can view it as the same then he can get passed this little hurdle in life and become a better man rather then letting life go and become severely depressed.

[theguy]

Dude, you are way into drahma.

You just want HER to fix your relationship problem. What do you really expect from her? This?

No, not at all do I expect this. I have exausted every effort I have of trying to help her through this tough time in her life, showing her I love, being there for her, telling her I want her, explaining to her what could happen asking her to rethink things. I have done everything called her supported her, shes a lost girl I saw something terrifying in her eyes a few nights ago, something i have never seen in the entire time ive been with her. She was terrified, lost scared and empty. She has nobody, she has left her friends her family over the last week and I tried to be there for her. Im tired now I was jsut trying to see if it was pathetic as it feels that I finally told her that I would never ask her again to rethink things between us, that this was it I was done after this.

Im jsut worried that although it all seemed right for me to do, that the repition might have gotten to her, or if I stick to my guns and do as planned and in correspondence with alot of the advice on this forum that with that closure, in weeks or months she will realize what she has done, and whether or not I take her back. Does this make sense at all?

[theguy]

I know I sound like the biggest looser on this forum, someone who probably looks like he got hit by a train and is tearing himself to pieces over just some girl,, however i am quite normal to be honest. I could show you a picture.and its not that it was my first love it was that I care about her I truly do, somewhere inside of her is a completley different girl, she has never been like this, it all hapened in three weeks and it just doesnt make sense. She was a family girl, bbq's babysitting doing laundry going to church, then crash....

[lesa]

No, not at all do I expect this. I have exausted every effort I have of trying to help her through this tough time in her life, showing her I love, being there for her, telling her I want her, explaining to her what could happen asking her to rethink things. I have done everything called her supported her, shes a lost girl I saw something terrifying in her eyes a few nights ago, something i have never seen in the entire time ive been with her. She was terrified, lost scared and empty. She has nobody, she has left her friends her family over the last week and I tried to be there for her. Im tired now I was jsut trying to see if it was pathetic as it feels that I finally told her that I would never ask her again to rethink things between us, that this was it I was done after this.

Im jsut worried that although it all seemed right for me to do, that the repition might have gotten to her, or if I stick to my guns and do as planned and in correspondence with alot of the advice on this forum that with that closure, in weeks or months she will realize what she has done, and whether or not I take her back. Does this make sense at all?

Please stick to your guns. You may have urges to contact her but I would just pretend if you have to by writing to yourself but never sending it to her. She doesn't need to hear how this is affecting you.

She does sound like drama though. Drama is when she, you, or both torture each other's feelings and have high tolerance for bs.

[lesa]

I know I sound like the biggest looser on this forum, someone who probably looks like he got hit by a train and is tearing himself to pieces over just some girl,, however i am quite normal to be honest. I could show you a picture.and its not that it was my first love it was that I care about her I truly do, somewhere inside of her is a completley different girl, she has never been like this, it all hapened in three weeks and it just doesnt make sense. She was a family girl, bbq's babysitting doing laundry going to church, then crash....

She may be going through that young woman syndrome where she must feel what it is like to be with another man before making a committment. Or the young whore syndrome where the girl finally 'becomes a woman' and no longer have to follow the parent's rules and sex any and every man of her fantasy. I have seen it happen to many immature college freshmen.

[bluesummer]

People change dude. Maybe she is going through some transitional period in her life. That is for HER to deal with. It doesn't mean anything is wrong with her, and you can't 'save' her, you just need to let her go through it. Her path through life may be changing, and it may intertwine with your path again, and it may not. Just know that you have your own path you're meant to run on.

Let me tell you, one of the most unattractive thing to women is guys that throw away their goals and ambitions for them. Really. I'm sure it's likewise for men. Do you think this girl will respect you for throwing away an amazing opportunity for your education? Guess what, she'll likely shun you and go find some guy who WAS smart enough to take his educational abilities and future goals firmly in grasp and run with them.