He refuses to open up!

[carl1222]

Women may change (I haven't noticed myself changing... but I guess it's possible)... but men don't. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it can be if you're hoping for a 'fixer-upper' in a man.

If you don't like the way he is now, then you never will. Even if he was willing to try to change himself for you... eventually the his 'true self' will start to show again. Then the cycle will start over again... the cycle of him lying to you and to himself in order to be something you want.

It's usually better to be with a man you like from the beginning (flaws included). This works out better because he'll hardly change as time goes by. No need to lie to you or himself in order to be what you want... no accumulation of guilt and resentment as time goes by. Essentially you would have a much healthier foundation to base a relationship on.

I agree with everything Aeradalia said (except the man/woman distinction).

Everyone changes over time ... they change how they do things, they change their outlook on life, they change habits, they change priorities and interests. This is equally true for men and women. But basic personality traits are deeply ingrained. Over time, to please you, he may develop a more verbally communicative persona, but that will never truly be him and he won't be comfortable with it.

If you need a talker, find someone else.

Carl.

[Logos]

...It depends why he won't talk. Is that just his personality, or is he emotionally damaged? Are there other people (e.g. his family, his friends from high school) that he is talkative with?

...Just trying to determine whether you can "break through" with time and patience, or if what you see (i.e. don't hear) is what you get.

[casco]

just because he is shy, it doesnt make him a bad person, and he may really be struggling with his shyness. You can usually get a feel for whether or not he is interested, even if he is shy - if he doesnt seem interested either then it doesnt look good. If he does, then you just need to spend longer working on making him feel more confident around you

[RIKKI]

That's not the best idea.

[lastwish]

Males generally aren't as talkative as females. Its just the way he is. If you really must have a "serious" chat with him about something thats very important to you then...tell him that. If he still refuses to listen to you or engage in that conversation then he isn't the right guy for you.