Ex gf with depression

[Rosebud]

I think your a very good man SIFU, It's rare to find someone that will stick by someone when they are having a hard time and I think what your doing is a great! Good Luck to you!

[Illusional]

alright, from what i have studies, yes, depression is a disease, HOWEVER, i feel that many people use this as an excuse because they don't really wanna cope with the real life problems. like how people say that have ADHD because they can't or don't want to concentrate in life.

i will tell you this though, i was with a girl who was depressed in life. she wasn't majorly depressed but she was my gf. i gave her everything that she wanted and when the magic ended, i was her ultimate fear. yes, i was the *sshole in which she was worrying that i wouldn't become. i treated her very very badly and she probably hated me for it, yet she still wanted to be with me? weird huh? well now that time has passed and our relationship ended a long time ago, i think that she is much much stronger. it probably helped her become a stronger person in that her next bf treated her even worse that i did. however, she did learn to stand up for herself and i am happy that she finally did. it will differ from person to person but to each their own.

raverboy

[Junsui]

So she went from you treating her like crap to another abusive relationship where the guy was even worse. You said she stood up for herself, did she leave the relationship or just tell him to stop being mean?

[sifu74]

Well guys, a little update. Me and the ex are finally back together. After some successful sessions with her therapist, he made her realized what she had with me was not worth giving up. I guess she needed a third party person that was not a friend of either of us to look into the relationship. Also her depression has improved, she is the same as when we first met. Of course I asked her if this is what she really wants and the way she feels about me is genuine, all she said is that right now in time, she could not see herself without me in her life. So there is some good news in the dumping forum for ya'll.

[independent]

I really commend you for sticking this one out, sifu74. You have just given her a huge dose of trust and security in your relationship together - and in you, specifically. Good for you!!

In my younger years I battled with depression on and off, and men are typically NOT supportive at all. And it may just be my area (the south) but men kinda flip when you are not cooking every night, keeping all the laundry up, doing all the shopping and basically "running the home". I've heard so many times in my life that even crying or having a bad day is "just PMS" or "you've got a problem!" (in a very derogatory tone).

It's nice to know there are men out there that give a damn about their woman, and that will be there for her to support and love her through *anything*. I'm happy for her... and I'm happy for ME just knowing there's guys like you out there LOL *grin*

Try not to nag or be nosey about it, but do see that she stays on track with her meds and therapy... and keep on being yourself. You're a good guy, and that alone should help her tremendously!

[Mish]

Of course I asked her if this is what she really wants and the way she feels about me is genuine, all she said is that right now in time, she could not see herself without me in her life. So there is some good news in the dumping forum for ya'll.

Find out from her what she was diagnosed with by her therapist, if she has a personality disorder you will be in for a long ride and will have to repeat this proccess in the future. You seem like a positive person and I think this will help you in your journey. However, I tend to take quotes such as "right now in time I am this way, but uncertain for the future" as warning signs that the person may have experienced these episodes on a few occasions and more are still to come.

[sifu74]

no, she doesn't have a personality disorder. she told me it is one of those times in life when everything comes crashing down on someone, and she thought i might not be there to support her. her previous relationship was crap, because he basically made her feel inferior when she was the one paying all the bills and making money. but that was over 2 years ago, and she thought every guy ould be like that till she met me. i swear there are alot of shitbags out there that treats a girl bad and makes the rest of us decent guys work that much harder to reconvince them to give us a chance. anyways, everything is fine now...i hope.