Girlfriend's Friend Is Becoming A Problem

[alphadogg]

If she's going to cheat, she'll cheat. Nothing you do can stop that. You have to just let things happen. If you trust her, let her continue what she's doing. If she cheats, walk away. If you try to control her, she'll walk away. If you don't let it come between you, then things will work out. Either way, you'll find out if she really is the one for you.

[Treb]

I'm not worried about her cheating on me.

I just don't think her friend is a good influence nor do I think he has any respect for me.

So, just because I trust her, I should let her do something that hurts me? Relationships require sacrifice but you have to draw the line somewhere. When a man makes a woman's partner feel second-best or disrespected, I think it needs to be fixed.

I trust that she won't cheat on me, that isn't the issue. It's whether or not I'm wrong in making her choose between the two of us (she already told me she'll never see him again).

[Wakeup]

EDIT: I should also mention that my girlfriend is so shy about herself that to actually bring herself to cheat would take a lot. I'm the only person she's ever 'slept' with.

Please don't be naive. The horse has already left the barn. Once you done it, its like riding a bike. You just get on and go. (not saying that she's cheating.. just sayin)

[smackie9]

Shy or not, she is liking her freedom, that's why she's pushing you aside. She is young and she is chomping at the bit for some different experiences, and crawling out of that snail shell of a life.....this is what you get dating someone so young. She is growing up from a teenage to an adult. Just wait til she is able to hit the clubs......better off letting her go now.

[Treb]

I appreciate the advice smackie, but considering that she asks me to go over everyday and is willing to do anything to please me, I don't think she's "pushing me aside". Yes she's bailed on me a handful of times but in the two years we've been together I'd say that isn't very much. I talked to her about it and she said she's going to fix it. If not I'll end things myself.

[smackie9]

Go ahead and down play the obvious.

[HeartIsAching]

I just don't think her friend is a good influence nor do I think he has any respect for me.

If you trusted her, this would not be an issue. You don't trust her - and with good reason.

[Treb]

If you trusted her, this would not be an issue. You don't trust her - and with good reason.

But even if you trust someone, you'll let them associate with bad influences? It's easier to pull someone down then to lift them up. No matter how strong you are, everyone around you has some sort of influence on you, big or small.

[Treb]

Go ahead and down play the obvious.

I'm not ignoring your input, all I'm saying is I'm not willing to throw something away unless I'm entirely sure it's broken. We're happy when we're together, I'm happy when she's with friends. I'm just not happy when she's with this one person in particular. If she's willing to cut him out, I shouldn't try and keep our relationship?

[Red Apollo]

Your "trust" has made you so blind you don't want to see what is right in front of you bro. You're so afraid of the truth that you completely ruled it out as an option. Trust is one thing, but there is a point when you have to stand back and ask yourself if your trust is being taken advantage of. Sometimes we don't see what we don't want to see, which is why everyone else can see she is obviously cheating on you. (I'm sure your real life friends have told you the same thing.)

One guy, sleeping in a chicks bed as just a friend. Ok, maybe I can believe that, I've seen it happen. Granted he still wanted to get some, but its plausible nothing happened. But two guys? With the same girl? Multiple occurrences? If you had any amount of self respect, you would man up and actually find out whats going on with this guy. As opposed to just blindly believing that this girl could never possibly betray your trust. She can't be that happy, or she wouldn't stop mid-sex
to go hang out with this dude. And she wouldn't kick you out to "hang out" with these "friends." She would let you stay and hang out with them. Just look in to it, discretely. If everyone is wrong, then you'll feel great, and no harm will be done. If everyone is right, then you'll save yourself a lot of wasted time, and a whole hell of a lot of heartbreak.

Anyway, she claims she is willing to cut him out. Guarantee you that within a month, if you actually did some investigating, you would find out she is still hanging out with him.

[Alexis]

Simply put it she has no perspective of what her priorities are when it comes to you and these friends and you need to figure out why and untill the two of you do well i dont see it getting any better it could be a plethora of reasons from the grimm idea of her cheating to her being a total air head and not realizing how this is hurting you/the relationship...Good Luck

[HeartIsAching]

But even if you trust someone, you'll let them associate with bad influences? It's easier to pull someone down then to lift them up. No matter how strong you are, everyone around you has some sort of influence on you, big or small.

Let? So you're her owner?

Bull. If my wife were hanging out with someone that didn't like me... wait - she does that! She won't invite her friend Mark to the house because his treatment of me is rude. She knows she's welcome to go hang out with him whenever she wants, and she does but not often. I don't worry about his "influence" on her one bit. She's a big girl, capable of making up her own mind about things, and I trust her implicitly. It's a non-issue. If you think that your girlfriend is going to be swayed by other people, then you distrust her. Period.

[Nick1]

I feel you in fact be in love.

[smackie9]

I feel you in fact be in love.

Stop spamming!