An Affair

[IndiReloaded]

Cam, in addition to your own morals regarding affairs, here's something else to consider:

Aren't you hoping for a LTR or marriage, when you find someone compatible?

Spend some time thinking about the kind of woman you'd find suitable and what she is likely to think upon discovering you were 'the other man'. My bet is your type of woman would find that far worse than a turn-off, it would likely be a deal-breaker.

There's that horrible consistency in integrity concept again...

Anyway, my post is largely to help your justification for not going there. I think that decision is one you made long ago.

What's with the email only for the 'In Towns'? Can you step that up a bit?

[Nice Lover Boy]

Hey Cam, buddy.
I understand your need man. I know you want us to say,"Go for it" and give you the green light. I've been involved in two affairs.

I did it because I wanted it to happen as much as she(they) did. My need was to complete this fantasy that I had for older married women(not too old). But old enough to still look good.

The first affair did not end up in good terms. The affair lasted 6 months. In the beginning it was suppose to be a mutual thing, you know "I scratch your back you scratch mine" in sexual terms. She maid it clear to me that she was married and the agreement was not to have anything near her home or family(husband). It ended up in bad terms when I just wanted out, to be free. I explained to her and she did not want it to end. I found out that she was obsessed with me now. She followed me home and would not leave my driveway until I came out and talk to her. I called the cops and she left before they came. After that, we stop talking and one month later she quit cuz we worked in the same building. It all started with a friendly lunch....

Second one ended up in good terms(I think I learned from the 1st one). She was 8 years older then me and 2 kids.Same deal, sexual needs. We had an agreement that we would not take this at her home cuz of the husband. After 6 months, we were very close that she mention she wanted to leave her husband and run away with me.Last thing I need was 2 kids too. But this was not the agreement. She understood and we stayed for another 6 months(total a year). After a year, she told me that she wanted to move because her kids were important and she wanted things to work with her husband. So she wanted to stop. I'll be honest, it hurt us both but we were in a moment that this "love" could never work for us. We did not sleep together for the last time as a Good Bye thing but left it like that. Up to this point, we still email each other and just stay in touch. We still talk about our "good old times", but we just laugh about it as adventures to memorize. But she would always ask me that when I start seing other girls, she wanted me to send pics of them to her. I guess its a girl thing. By the way, it all started with a friendly lunch too.

Cam, if your thinking about this......dude please don't tell your friends at work even if they think they know and want you to come clean. Make sure if something is about to start that there is an agreement or its possible that she can end up obsessed. Please don't make her leave her husband for you.
If she has kids and wants to introduce them to you, make sure that your an uncle or something with a different name. Don't buy her gifts. Her husband will catch on. If you get in her car and go out for dinner or a movie, always pay with cash or a credit card receipt might stay in her car. Never get cocky around her or at work.

I know everyone else are probably thinking of condemning me for my past or because I'm giving Cam my experience of the affair after-math. I did get hurt coming out of the affair. It was not pleasant keeping a secret for 6 months and then for a whole year. If you ask me, do I regret it?.....I think of it this way, if Ernest Hemingway was in my shoes, he would of done the same thing.I enjoyed it all.

[lilac]

Here now I see it, Nice Lover Boy. If you were that little kid who mum is having an affair with someone else. How would you feel? How would you feel if your family is broken up because someone decide to sleep with your mom?

And if you were the husband and your wife is sleeping with someone else, how would you feel then?


CAM, a friend of mind, he got married and a few months later they get a divorce because his wife was sleeping with this guy from work. He was completely smashed!! It was difficult to see him like that.

You don't want to ruin anyone's life or family, just think about your own family if you were in the same situation, if you were in her husband's shoes.

[CAM]

Cam, in addition to your own morals regarding affairs, here's something else to consider:

Aren't you hoping for a LTR or marriage, when you find someone compatible?

Spend some time thinking about the kind of woman you'd find suitable and what she is likely to think upon discovering you were 'the other man'. My bet is your type of woman would find that far worse than a turn-off, it would likely be a deal-breaker.

There's that horrible consistency in integrity concept again...

Anyway, my post is largely to help your justification for not going there. I think that decision is one you made long ago.

You are right--I do have the choice of going down the dark path that I took in my college days of boffing every piece that was available to me. And, like you correctly state, it would also result in the next "nice girl" (when and if she comes along) having the same reaction as the last "nice girl"--namely, disgust on her part. The last time, I ended up in a dark mood for nearly a decade. I can't afford that to happen again when I think that good "nice girl" opportunities are on the horizon.

Thanks to everyone's good comments as well as my own thoughts, I would rather take my chances and go for a "nice girl" rather than a piece of available ass.

In terms of the married one--she has no kids and is a trophy wife to a rich guy old enough to be her daddy. She a very good-looking (and bored) kept woman. I'm not going there, but to explain for those concerned...there'd be no emotional effect on kids, no break up of a family, etc.

Meanwhile, to add yet another twist, a recent divorcee at work is now after me. When she found out I wasn't married, she tagged along while I walked to my car to tell me, "We should get together, huh?" And, I don't think she meant for lunch. Now that would be the massive no-no because one should eat and shit from the same trough, as the saying goes.

It isn't a compliment to me in any way. I guess it tells me that I still "got it" but that I should use it to go after a "good girl" rather than a piece of cheap split tail (yes, a vulgar reference, I know, but seemingly describes the situation).

[CAM]

correction: "should NOT eat and shit from the same trough" Always a typo, despite proofreading!

[Nice Lover Boy]

Lilac, ofcourse I would feel terrible if I was in the victims(children or husband) shoes. But everyone has free will which result in bad morals or like the majority know it as "sin".

Like I said, I was hurt too and affected by it. But that's the power of free will. Its stronger then saying the words, "I DO" because later on you'll just assume you didn't meant what you said. I know I ain't the only one who got into a mess like this. I'm sure others created more danger my side of the story.