Originally Posted by
mrpixelator
My girlfriend of 8 months has been taking day trips with a male coworker friend on the back of his motorcycle. They go to wineries, bars, sometimes dinner or a movie.
She's hooked up with coworkers (before us) in the past, and she insists nothing is going on with him. She cries and gets furious when I tell her these trips upset me or when I say there's a meaning or implication to her spending this much quality time with another guy - especially on the back of his bike.
I posted a much longer version of this in the girl's forum...
How often does this happen? Once every now and then I wouldn't worry, but if it happens more than 3-4 times a month it's something to watch.
If it's a regular habit, as "every Friday after work", I'd worry a bit less compared to if it happens randomly. Passion doesn't work in schedule! So if it's a thing that happens anytime without warning (she calls you and tells you she's going out right now instead of coming home as planned), it's more to worry about.
If she stays away for a whole night or more days, hell yeah there is something wrong there!
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You could try to make your investigations, but it's a sign of not trusting her, and if she's really not doing anything wrong, she'll be more furious than ever when she finds out. Try to ask her where they are going (name of the place), then you could call the place and ask if they could get her on the phone because you can't reach her mobile, and see if she's really there. But you still can't make conclusions easily.
One more thing you could do is talk to her and ask if ONE TIME ONLY you could join them two and bring a (female) friend along. Make sure she understands the proposal is just for one evening, otherwise it will be like you're trying to wreck her habit. Then watch the evening between her and her coworker. If they're having at least some of the fun even with you 2 there, then it's quite ok. If they look irritated like they really wish you weren't there, it might not be so ok.
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And remember, theoretically there is nothing wrong about a woman and a man to have a friendship without involving sex or at least some sentimental attraction.
But it's damn hard...
Don't listen to The Wise, listen to yourself.