Are you guys really that clueless, or is it some sort of ruse?

[MM894]

I do agree you're kind of in a tough spot. It sounds like you guys are doing this relationship long distance at the moment (or at least that's the vibe I get from the end of post #13). My advice would be saying something to the extent of "I feel awkward being this far away from you and seeing these girls go after you without much regard to the fact that we're dating." The guy doesn't mean ill, and it sucks having to be away from the girl you're in love with. Odds are he does get a little ego boost out of it, and that's probably the extent of why he gets into this. I would say that you trying to cut off his text-conversations in total with these girls wouldn't go over great, but if you can pick out exactly what in them bothers you, and bring that up to him, that might be more effective.

[Gigabitch]

He thinks I sound a bit nuts sometimes (but he's a good guy and doesn't say so ), but I told him, "I've played all the games these girls are playing and I'm not stupid." Been there, done that, over it. He wants to believe that he's not as attractive or desirable as he is because he doesn't feel that way about himself. Perhaps another reason he "puts up with" these girls' behaviors.

Did his mommy not give him enough attention as a child? Does he seek admiration, approval and attention from women everywhere he goes? Is he like a sunflower, turning his head toward the "sunshine" he gets from women everywhere? Is he even aware of this annoying trait?

If this all sounds familiar, I think you're dating my husband's soul brother.

[lahnnabell]

You know, I really don't know if he's really that aloof, or if he encourages this behavior. He certainly doesn't seek it out, but he also doesn't seem to recognize when a woman is flirting excessively. He is aware of the fact that women are attracted to him, but perhaps he's not quite sure how to shut them down effectively. He's a very nice, charming guy, and I think girls also confuse this with flirting and interest.

I'll be the first to admit I do the same thing with other men, but not in a way that blatantly feels disrespectful to him. I know I can't expect him to tell these girls that he doesn't want to take photos with them, and I don't want to have a conversation telling him to cut off contact with these girls. That's not reasonable. But understand me when I say, that nearly EVERY woman and gay man he encounters is attracted to him. He is absolutely beautiful to look at. The way he walks and how he dresses. It all commands attention. I would be stupid to think I could put a stop to it. I think I need to just get over it. The last couple of times we Skyped he was positively gushing about how beautiful he thinks I am and how lucky he is. I don't know why I care so much about this Facebook thing. He's mine and I'm so grateful for it. I need to focus on that.

[Olderandwiser49]

I think that what is and isn't "acceptable flirtation" depends on the couple involved. I agree that physical contact crosses all lines, along with exchanges of phone numbers. If you are in a relatively new relationship, or in an established but problematic one, your partner can feel threatened by even the mildest of verbal exchanges between you and a third party, and sometimes even by your look of interest at another person. If you're in a secure and mutually enjoyable relationship, you might tend to allow your significant other a longer leash. But make certain they remember that while you don't really care where they get their appetite, they're expected to eat at home.