Oh My God, Can This Ever Last?

[Sarcasticshoe]

I don't think age has anything to do with it. I know someone who got married at 16, and it worked for her for quite a few years... Now she is on her 2nd husband and significantly happier, but again, has nothing to do with age.... only wisdom (though typically wisdom and age go hand in hand)

He could be the right one, then again he could also not work out. If he has baggage and/or major issues, I do suggest being wary and taking things slowly. He sounds a little intense/ possibly unstable with offering to get you pregnant and take your last name.
ask yourself: can you support a child? do you both have a job? your own place? pay rent/bills? responsible? do you trust him with finances? etc etc, if that all checks out.. go for it !!!! good luck!

[sweetkissesforu]

you have posted here before i remember you

[HeartIsAching]

If you take offense to what I said...what does that tell us?
The ratios are true. Good women with good intentions are very hard to find.

You may be a good woman but this does not mean you are in the majority....FAR from it.

Change that to "good people" and I'll agree with you. But typifying "women" like that is simply misogyny.

OP - one thing SnH had right is your ability to communicate. That's an incredible skill. I've only recently been learning it, and I'm *ahem* nearly three times your age. Nurture it.

I do want to say however, that it is not likely to last. I know what you feel for him right now is almost painfully intense, but everybody goes through one of those at your age. What you're doing now is practicing for real love when you're finished growing up. You MIGHT get lucky and he might actually BE the one, but I wouldn't bet that way in Vegas.

On the other hand, it's happened for people that I know well and love - my little brother married his high school sweetheart when he was 18, and he's now in his early 30's, still married, still happy, and still in love with his wife. It can happen, it's just rare.

[Sarcasticshoe]

One awesome thing you have going for you (that I can see) is how
communicative you are about how you feel...Don't stop doing this even if "the truth hurts"
because integrity and honesty in a woman are RARE commodities!

He does sound like a nice guy and how you write about him he sounds like the perfect guy
even with the baggage...what is this baggage you speak of?

You're young and you happen to be aware (more than I can say of most 20 something yr olds!)

What I can do is write down a list of things which will enable you to have the best experiences you can possibly have, k?


-Unconditional love is: selfless, humble, forgiving, patient, understanding, compassionate, empathic and affirming.
-Never give based on reciprocity, give just because, not to receive in return.
-Never have expectations -they will never be met- on a satisfactory level.
-It is already implied that as a human being you deserve to be treated with:
-Respect, honor, dignity and above else: love.

-Be slow to speak, and slow to anger. (humility)
-A relationship is never 50/50...it's 100% for each person.
-Don't argue, yell or fight. Instead discuss disagreements without injecting irrational emotions.
-Practice open + honest communication...always!

-Don't lie either by passive aggression or omission.
-Curb the ego and always see the perspective of your opponent.
-Be true to yourself and don't settle for anything. Compromise instead.
-Don't burn bridges, curse enemies. Love them just the same.

-Control your emotions, don't let them control you.
-Don't follow your heart: lead it instead!
-Realize that opinions/beliefs are just opinions/beliefs and are just extensions of the person. They are not the person!
-Don't take anything personal!

This is just a little road map for being in a loving relationship.
I hope it helps and I hope everything works out.

I see no reason why you two can't last if you adhere to these words!

Don't forget: The truest measure of a man lies in what he does for someone that can do nothing for him.

VERY WELL PUT SELFELESSNHUMBLE!! props!!

[Ric]

It is certainly possible. I've seen couples who got together when they were 12 and are still together after 20 years.
But, it requires a lot of work.


Keep in mind your age and his age, though. It's not the age itself that makes it so hard, but more what the age brings.
You both have a lot of growing and shaping up to do. Your personalities and goals might drastically change. And with that, you might figure out you're no longer good together.