Private Cell Phone?

[Cain]

he didn't just ask her to please ask him before she did it. he got totally pissed and wrestled the phone away from her!

that is a sign that he is talking to somebody he shouldn't be on the phone. simple as that. and obviously she was right because the girl texted him that night wanting "entertainment."

I've said "entertain me" before and there was nothing sexual behind it. It's just you wanting to read into this.

And once again we're jumping to conclusions based on one biased side of a story. Do we not think the whole wrestling of the phone thing might be a little embellished?

[CherriBlossomGirl]

Thanks for the perspective everyone. I was kind of like that person in the movies who is running around all crazy like until someone slaps them in the face to bring them back to reality. Thanks for the slap.

Okay, no, I don't snoop in his phone. We each have our own phones and don't normally use one another's. I was looking through the pictures purely out of boredom and curiosity. And when I say he wrestled the phone from me, I mean wrestle. That was what really freaked me out. Normally we're so playful, but it was him holding down my other arm as he wrenched the phone out of my hand. Not playful, no laughing. He says that he thought I was going to delete the pictures of myself off of the phone because I've mentioned before how I hate them.

As for the text, I decided to stop being a stupid little chicken and asked him in depth about it today. He doesn't know why she texted him the whole "entertain me" thing. He said the only thing he's talked to her about is Blake. He said he hadn't even talked to her in a while, but recently she's been texting him a lot to try and get a hold of Blake who has been flaky lately. No, I'm not about to start policing his phone to verify. I'm not going to steal his phone and read all his texts and check all his calls. I do trust him, even though he was acting weird. I don't trust the woman texting him for "entertainment". As some of you pointed out, maybe she was drunk, maybe she wasn't trying to be flirtatious or sexual, maybe I took it totally wrong. I can't really say, as I am too emotionally involved in the situation to be objective.

As for the phone thing, I'm not big on hiding anything in a relationship. My boyfriend is welcome to look at my phone anytime, and has. He's asked me about texts and numbers in it, and honestly, I have no problem reassuring him. He's welcome to my phone. I don't have anything to hide, so I never worry when he picks it up and looks at it. I can see though that many people don't think the cell is public domain in a relationship. I never really thought about it, to be honest. Because I don't see it as a big deal, I didn't (and still don't) see why it's a big deal to him. Then again, I wouldn't mind my boyfriend reading my diary either, or going through all my files on my computer, or or or. I already tell him everything anyway

[CherriBlossomGirl]

It's not like you were intentionally snooping because you lack trust in him- he caused you to lose trust by reacting like he had something to hide. The whole "don't you trust me?" thing just screams "i'm hiding something so i'm gonna make you feel guilty about not trusting!". so yeah, red flag.

I explained that to him a couple of times during our argument and also talked to him about it again today. He admits that if I did the same thing, he'd be a little freaked out.

[misombra]

I've said "entertain me" before and there was nothing sexual behind it. It's just you wanting to read into this.

And once again we're jumping to conclusions based on one biased side of a story. Do we not think the whole wrestling of the phone thing might be a little embellished?

STFU cocaine.

[CocoChanel]

I wish the hell my fiancee would get mad if I picked up his phone. Only thing that is private is your social security number, credit card numbers, banking and routing information when it comes to your damn girlfriends and boyfriends. If he had nothing to hide then it wouldn't be a damn problem.

So what if she picked up the phone to look at pictures. She didn't even wander into reading private texts! He calmed down when he realized it was just the pictures. LOL! That's because he knew there is nothing incriminating in his albums folder.

[Junket]

F*ck that.

What I do on my computer is private.

What I do on my phone is private.

Period.

[misombra]

shame on him.

[CherriBlossomGirl]

Although i find the text message from the girl troubling. You were totally in the wrong for looking through his cell phone to begin with. Lets face it, this whole situation wouldn't have happened if you weren't snooping.

I'll admit, I started feeling snoopy after that initial freak out over the pictures. Never did I have an urge to snoop around in his phone until he flipped about me looking at it.

Let's say that he was cheating on me. Do I remain ignorant and just let it go? If someone is cheating, I'd prefer they were honest so we don't waste each other's time. Unfortunately, cheaters don't just come out and say it. They sneak, therefore you HAVE to snoop to find out. I'm not saying I think my boyfriend is a cheating asshole and I should keep tabs on him. I'm just saying that if he was, how would I know? Especially if he was really good at not getting caught. I've dated guys like that, and the only was to ascertain the truth was to find it yourself, get proof, and show it to them. Otherwise, they'll never admit it.

So I guess what I'm asking is: If someone refuses to speak or show the truth, how else do you obtain it without being "snoopy" or "nosy"?

Besides torture.

[CherriBlossomGirl]

Only thing that is private is your social security number, credit card numbers, banking and routing information when it comes to your damn girlfriends and boyfriends.

That was my line of thinking. What do you hide in a phone? Not embarrassing moments like in a diary. Calls, texts, and pictures you can hide in a phone. What does it matter if I see who texted or called him, unless it's someone he doesn't want me to know called or texted him?

[CocoChanel]

That was my line of thinking. What do you hide in a phone? Not embarrassing moments like in a diary. Calls, texts, and pictures you can hide in a phone. What does it matter if I see who texted or called him, unless it's someone he doesn't want me to know called or texted him?

I feel you girl. Especially since you don't have a history of being jealous, envious or snoopy when it comes to him and he snapped like that?! Yeah right! He is totally hiding something. I say keep your eyes and ears open.

[Aeradalia]

Not enough evidence to draw a conclusion from this... I am a very private person even though I have nothing to hide... I've always been a loner, so it's nice to have little things that are kept to myself.

Cheaters become more emboldened over time and eventually reckless... even without snooping, you'll begin to notice changes in their behavior that would clue you in. Also, if you no longer trust the person, then you might as well throw in the towel. Relationships need trust... or else you just have a set of lies and routines.

Take this as being innocent until proven guilty. If he is cheating... sooner or later, he'll make a mistake. And if he's not cheating, then he probably didn't realize his behavior was quite suspicious.

[CocoChanel]

There are certain things that are private and certain things that are private not protected. I feel that Social Security, Pay Stubs, CC's, Bank Info, Diaries etc... are private and protected. But things like a cell phone? It's private but not protected. If my man picked up my phone right now and decided he wanted to look through my pictures.... I wouldn't think nothing of it. If he read my texts I would tell him to skip over certain people they are telling me confidential stuff. but other than that... PSH! I wouldn't snap off and start a war. That's just pointless.

[CherriBlossomGirl]

Take this as being innocent until proven guilty. If he is cheating... sooner or later, he'll make a mistake. And if he's not cheating, then he probably didn't realize his behavior was quite suspicious.

Great advice; it's currently what I doing. Thank you.

[Cbrider]

if that happened in my house there'd be some domestic violence going on over here.

Lol, you have a way with words.

[The_bobb]

F*ck that.

What I do on my computer is private.

What I do on my phone is private.

Period.

Couldn't have worded it better....