Lost my virginity to this guy.. and.. now what.. Guys, help me out!

[sheenietee]

Hmm.. Well, I wouldn't say I'm delusional and in love, but I may be making more excuses for him than I should.

Here's the update: I caved in and texted him tonight--

Me: Hey I really miss hanging out with you and would like to see you before spring break. What do you say about getting lunch either tomorrow or Thursday? I can swipe you in or we can go to the union or something. Let me know what works for you.

Him: (1.5 hours later)- Hey we can try for Thursday. Sorry, I was busy studying earlier.

Me: Ok it's no big deal just let me know what time you're free.

Him: Will do!

----hmm.. let's TRY for thursday? We'll see what happens.

[girl68]

please don't be little miss cling on. let him text you next if he doesn't take a clue!

[LailaK]

Sheenietee. Honey. I'm trying to be gentle here.

It took me years to realize this one simple truth: Guys will respect you more, and LOVE you more, if you respect yourself.

Being the "nice" girl who is never inconvenienced by anything he does won't get you anywhere but heart broken. I know it sounds backwards but guys don't like a girl who is too "easy" to get along with. STAND UP FOR YOURSELF DAMNIT! No one wants to be with someone who allows them self to be used.

Stop worrying so much about offending him, and start worrying about why he is disrespecting you by not making solid plans with you after he took your virginity. Take a look at my earlier post and say EXACTLY THAT. It's not even mean. You have a right to know what kind of guy he is and you won't know unless you ASK.

If you insist on acting like a doormat he will persist in treating you like someone he doesn't have to respect, much less love.

[sheenietee]

Sheenietee. Honey. I'm trying to be gentle here.

It took me years to realize this one simple truth: Guys will respect you more, and LOVE you more, if you respect yourself.

Being the "nice" girl who is never inconvenienced by anything he does won't get you anywhere but heart broken. I know it sounds backwards but guys don't like a girl who is too "easy" to get along with. STAND UP FOR YOURSELF DAMNIT! No one wants to be with someone who allows them self to be used.

Stop worrying so much about offending him, and start worrying about why he is disrespecting you by not making solid plans with you after he took your virginity. Take a look at my earlier post and say EXACTLY THAT. It's not even mean. You have a right to know what kind of guy he is and you won't know unless you ASK.

If you insist on acting like a doormat he will persist in treating you like someone he doesn't have to respect, much less love.

I definitely agree with what you're saying. I have always been that "nice" girl that friends and boyfriends alike take for granted. I think I'm just going to see him for lunch on Thursday (that is, if he does text me) and I'm just going to act like nothing's wrong. I don't think it would help the situation if I ruined a nice lunch with that very demanding statement.

I might just say at most.. "So, where exactly do you see this going?" and that will be all. If I see he is genuinely uninterested I won't contact him again and I'll move on. I simply just want answers so I don't have to stress over my Spring Break which starts on Friday.

[lastwish]

No, don't ask him "So, where exactly do you see this going?". It is further demonstration of your clinginess. By asking him such a question, you are letting him talk himself out of it. And you should never take a guy's words over his actions. Just don't contact him anymore; see if he is going to contact you on thursday. If not, then forget about him.

You don't need him to tell you directly "I am not interested in you" to know he's not interested. You can see through his actions.

[LailaK]

She's not going to listen. She is going to continue to play nice, nice until he's completely moved on. I used to do the same thing. Sheenie, you're young. You will learn. I did.

[sheenietee]

Well, he did text me and said "I'm free after 3:20 until 8, So if you wanna do something let me know" and I said "Cool, what do you wanna do?" and he said "It's up to you, my room is a mess so lets try something not involved in it."

So.. I think I take that as a good sign? I originally planned on having a quick lunch and he gave me a wide time range in which we'll most likely get dinner. His room is always a mess so I know he's basically saying he's still embarrassed and not comfortable trying anything again... but he's still hanging out with me so doesn't that mean he must somewhat like me? Please, do correct me if I'm wrong.