paul

[Yggdrasil]

i think it is unfortunate that you could not all be here to see wot i see, speaking in tongues, claiming to be able to heal people (including herself) which i know for a fact her health problems remain the same.and yes i have really listened but it all sounds like a ridiculous childs story to me, with credibility of less than zero. i wish i could get it, i even went with her every week for 1 year in a brave attempt to learn but this only made things A LOT WORSE! And you ask why get upset about it now? cos i have been upset for 20 years and try as i might have never been able to unravel the attraction/mystery!

My point exactly. Don't do something like joining her for church to please her.

You respect her, she respects you.

That's all there should be.

[paul a]

thats where i am at the moment... a living hell

[vashti]

You have your eye on another woman, don't you?

I mean, you live this way for >20 years (which granted, would not be my cup of tea, either), and suddenly it's a problem?

Do you have kids? If so, how old?

[Yggdrasil]

thats where i am at the moment... a living hell

I understand that. Ask yourself the question though: who put you in that hell?

If you answer honestly: you. By trying to please and appease her instead of just saying: hon, I respect you're religeous, I hope you can respect I am not. I love you regardless.

Hope I am still making sense.

[tonyp123]

I see your point. Once you go to a pentacostal church, like I do, you will see. There is always an excuse for anything someone does once they have this religion. I believe there is a higher power, but it's is just fear that makes everyone do things. Paul, you are more logistical and she would rather fall and hope someone was behind her. You would fall and catch yourself. That's the way I am.

[paul a]

no i do not have my eye on another woman! i have eyes for my wife. my wife is a lovely caring attractive woman, it would be hard to beat what we have. its just the god thing, i think i was just born with a disgust and hatred of all and anything religious, and i do mean anything.i would even cross the road to not walk too close to any sort of religious gathering place, billboard,etc.
you might think it sounds stupid and irrational but so does peoples love and attraction of such things to me.

[paul a]

sorry vashti, yes two kids 20 and 23 both still at home

[LadieNisha4u2nv]

The only thing that really annoys me with religions and god stuff is the people who try to force it upon you. If I dont believe in God or I do and I just dont go to church, why the **** are you trying to force me to? It annoys me. I hate people like that. I've noticed that the worst mother****ers I've ever encountered in my life so far all follow the Seventh Day Adventist religion. Evil people I tell ya....evil....and let's not forget slutty.

As for the OP, you either accept it or leave like she said.

[Gribble]

Gribble, I don't give a great deal about religion either.

My wife's religious and I have no problem with that. It's her life and her views, and I respect that, just like she respects my not so favorable views on religion.

If we would let something as a silly difference of opinion about religion come between us, then we both would be living in hell.

I dunno if that makes sense.

Do you have a children? Would it bother you if her god came before her children? I couldn't tolerate that.

Nothing, absolutely nothing should be more important to a mother than her children. I don't give a damn for any woman who would put something before them. Not her god, not her soul, not even fear of eternal damnation. There is nothing on this Earth or beyond that should mean more.

[vashti]

I still don't understand why this is suddenly a big problem after >20 years and a couple of kids.

[paul a]

I guess her intensity toward what she believes has gone up a notch therefore creating more discomfort for me at home. why does she persist when the penalty will be seperation?

[Mish]

this has been going on now for many years and now my wife says that "god"comes first in her life and if i cant live with that "then leave"! desperate to find a solution, please help. thanks

Can you please elaborate more on the conflict between you and the God in her life that makes the only alternative to leave?

[vashti]

I guess her intensity toward what she believes has gone up a notch therefore creating more discomfort for me at home. why does she persist when the penalty will be seperation?

For her, separation from God is more problematic, I suppose.

Why do you think her intensity suddenly increased? What has changed for her?

I also can't help but point out that these crazy churches are frequently the thing that prevents women from divorcing their husbands. This was the case for my sister for years. She couldn't stand her husband, but the church wouldn't approve of a divorce, so she stayed married (and quiet), suffering for years.

I know you say you love her, but how happy is she with you? Do you do things together, have fun, laugh, etc...?

[Graham Berkeley]

Frankly I can't imagine a woman like that being terribly intelligent or interesting. I'd leave and find an educated woman.

[ecojeanne]

i will never really understand why people are so opposed to religion. it gives a lot of people peace of mind. nowadays religion cannot control people like it used to so why be so concerned unless people are fanatics but majority are not, so why do people care so much to debunk?