My husband fondles me while I sleep? What is his problem?

[asdfg789]

I like being fondled. lol

and I like fondling ...

The sad part is that I have asked him to try something (i.e. fondle or ask if we can do it) when we are both awake so we aren't tired all of the time and he doesn't -- he just waits until I am asleep. Also, I have asked him to give me affection without fondling (not all of the time but a decent amount) so I can feel that connection with him and he doesn't. He says it is hard for himi to give affection without fondling so now he just doesn't give me any affection at all. Then, waits for me to fall asleep and starts fondling...I feel lonely because of the lack of affection and I feel exhausted all of the time from him repeatedly waking me up.

this relationship is doomed because neither one is willing to compromise

If sex was so improtant to him while I was sick he should have divorced me instead of constantly trying to force something on me while I was physically unable to provide.

u REALLY dont understand men

[Sonrisa]

there's nothing to compromise on if she is despised by him

[MerryH]

Are people not getting it because of the delicate language used by the OP? I'm sort of surprised that so many people are telling her to basically get over it and stop being so frigid. He is touching her vagina while she sleeps. She's not awake to give consent to that, and she's even talked about it while awake and told him to stop. He is still touching her inappropriately and it is wrong, no matter what their relationship is like.

OP, leave him. He doesn't care enough about your personal boundaries to keep his creepy hands off you. You've tried to work through it and nothing has changed. You shouldn't have to deal with it anymore.

[Ric]

Yeah, I find some of the responses weird.
But, it does seem you're both at fault.

OP could have gives some sexual satisfaction to the guy while he is awake. Hell, even a handjob would be better than nothing.
Her husband should be respectful and listen to her wishes. If she doesn't want it, he should not do it. It's simple as that.
And I can understand her getting angry with him and giving him nothing because of that.

So, I do think this marriage is completely doomed.

[xxazurexx]

Sounds like a weirdo to me. That desperate he will grab her parts while asleep?? wtf....why doesn't he just have a toss??

OP, before he goes to bed, make him a cuppa and crush some sleeping tranquilizers, add it to the cuppa. When he's snoring in bed, handcuff the twat.
When he wakes up, his crummy hands will be going nowhere...which = good nights sleep for you

[Kaius]

Wait a minute. There is nothing wrong with that. I fondle my woman often when she's asleep, and she simply smiles and continues to sleep. Sometimes, I pull down her top to suck on her breasts. Sometimes, I pull down her underwear to rub her bottom/front.
One time I tried to stick my penis inside, but the position wasn't right, so I was foiled. She woke up and asked me why I didn't proceed. So the next time I just got on top of her and humped away. She was very pleased. So I am wondering what the problem is for the OP. It makes no sense!!!

[qwertz]

I can see why the OP had a problem with him touching her after surgery but i really dont understand why there is still an issue? I wish my bf would wake me up like that

[doppelgaenger]

I wish someone would fondle me while I sleep.

[vashti]

Wait a minute. There is nothing wrong with that. I fondle my woman often when she's asleep, and she simply smiles and continues to sleep. Sometimes, I pull down her top to suck on her breasts. Sometimes, I pull down her underwear to rub her bottom/front.
One time I tried to stick my penis inside, but the position wasn't right, so I was foiled. She woke up and asked me why I didn't proceed. So the next time I just got on top of her and humped away. She was very pleased. So I am wondering what the problem is for the OP. It makes no sense!!!

Flat-out Hot. ^^

[Regnent]

Flat-out Hot. ^^

Mine usually ends up giving me a shot and or swears at me.
ptht.

[hello1]

Wait a minute. There is nothing wrong with that. I fondle my woman often when she's asleep, and she simply smiles and continues to sleep. Sometimes, I pull down her top to suck on her breasts. Sometimes, I pull down her underwear to rub her bottom/front.
One time I tried to stick my penis inside, but the position wasn't right, so I was foiled. She woke up and asked me why I didn't proceed. So the next time I just got on top of her and humped away. She was very pleased. So I am wondering what the problem is for the OP. It makes no sense!!!

That is so sick and scary. If I woke up to find my boyfriend having sex with me It be over, no question about it. It is rape. You were just lucky your woman liked it, if she didn't then your be in big trouble.

[Take2]

That is so sick and scary. If I woke up to find my boyfriend having sex with me It be over, no question about it. It is rape. You were just lucky your woman liked it, if she didn't then your be in big trouble.

Now hold on a second. That's dumb. I like to be awakened with sexual advances, I make that known to my partners once we reach that level of intimacy. It is NOT rape. And even if I didn't like it, as long as the guy stopped when I asked him to, it STILL wouldn't be rape.

I have awakened to find myself being raped, and believe me, it was nothing like being awakened by a lover with sexual advances.

[hello1]

Now hold on a second. That's dumb. I like to be awakened with sexual advances, I make that known to my partners once we reach that level of intimacy. It is NOT rape. And even if I didn't like it, as long as the guy stopped when I asked him to, it STILL wouldn't be rape.

I have awakened to find myself being raped, and believe me, it was nothing like being awakened by a lover with sexual advances.

How is that dumb? simple fact is some women may like their body being used when they are sleep and not even knowing what is going on but others will not like it and will freak out big time. If my boyfriend had sex with me when I was asleep, I would class it as rape as it was rape. So what if he was my partner? I did not consent to the act of sex, he just took it. I understand if the man knows the woman likes it or they have talked about it before but if he just does it then that is wrong.

[Take2]

How is that dumb? simple fact is some women may like their body being used when they are sleep and not even knowing what is going on but others will not like it and will freak out big time. If my boyfriend had sex with me when I was asleep, I would class it as rape as it was rape. So what if he was my partner? I did not consent to the act of sex, he just took it. I understand if the man knows the woman likes it or they have talked about it before but if he just does it then that is wrong.

Because in order to avoid "raping" you by your classification, your mate would have to yell out a request for consent before he ever touched you. Sometimes the request for sexual contact is a sexual touch. If the partner's response is no, then he/she should stop. If a partner says he/she doesn't like a certain type of sexual advance or sexual advances in certain circumstances, then the other should respect that. But it isn't fair to cry rape because a partner makes an advance you don't like, as long as you are not incapacitated. Just say no! Problem solved.

[xxazurexx]

^Yeah I'd agree, I wouldn't class it as rape either....more an annoyance and if people don't like it.

I wouldn't shout rape and because I'd been groped by a partner, lol

Send him to the 'doghouse' for a few days, yeah...and if it pissed me off that much.

I've never had a partner who would grope while I was sleeping.