boyfriends best friend is female

[searock]

I'm all for female-male friendship, but this is something else. Clearly he's having an emotional affair with her, he's been having it since before you two even started dating. You should have run as soon as he told you he'd date her if she didn't have kids, and as soon as you realized that he meant it, considering by the amount of communication and dates they go on. My boyfriend used to be my best friend once. We texted all the time (even when I was with my ex boyfriend), I would actually prefer going out with him rather than seeing my ex, etc. Eventually I broke up with my ex and got together with my friend, because that's what I had been wanting for a long time. Your boyfriend sounds the same to me, no matter how much he denies it to you and to himself. You have every right to feel insecure about this relationship. How would he feel if you had a male "best friend" you texted all the time (even during fights) and blew off plans with your bf to go on outings with him?

[smackie9]

Don't be one of those foolish hopefuls that keeps telling themselves "It will get better". Well it's 4 months now and it isn't getting better.....stop wasting your time on this guy. Maybe after awhile of GF's leaving him he will figure it out.

[VincenzoG91]

He says that his relationship with her has been a problem with his previous girlfriends as well.

He wonders why I have a problem and tells me I'm insecure.

These two statements don't fit together. His relationship with her was a problem for his previous girlfriends. It's a problem for you. It will be a problem with every future girlfriend because it is a completely inappropriate relationship. IT IS A PROBLEM.

Here's another problem. He is blaming you for his problem. Why? Because he is a selfish asshole. He won't take responsibility for his own problem. And this wouldn't even be a problem in the first place if he was man enough to date a woman with kids.

It's great that you have pushed him to set some boundaries on his relationship with her. I can just about guarantee that there will be some backsliding soon. I doubt that he will ever change, unless maybe every single girlfriend breaks up with him over his inappropriate friendship until he finally gets over his fear of kids and gets serious with her. And then their relationship is probably doomed anyway because of her kids, but at least that will finally get her out of his life. But you shouldn't stick around for all that crap. Once he starts backsliding and spending a lot of time with her again, you should just walk away.