Can friends be more than friends?

[halis123456789]

uh not anymore

[Gigabitch]

She finally gave in and said she wouldn't bother me anymore, then hung up on me.

What a big baby. Hope she stops wigging out soon and goes back to her normal self.

[halis123456789]

oh boy...this thing is like a soap opera. so i saw the girl in question at the wedding where i was the best man. it was a really fun time, we decided early on that we (me and her) were going to forget everything and just be friends for a night.

so we were drinking and talking and dancing and having a great time with everyone. i was over by the groom and the groomsmen and a slow song came on, and the groom told me to go dance with her. so i was about 5 steps away when my ex-girlfriend (sloshed) pulls me over to her and tells me she wants to dance. then they play another slow song, it's near the end of the night, and some other chick that i knew in high school wants to dance, must've been b/c i got the garter, she stole it from me. anyway, she sees me dancing with this second chick and i can tell she's pissed, and she tells everyone she's leaving. i'm right in the middle of dancing with this chick and...

freeze frame. right here was my critical decision..i could've just stayed right where i was and had a great time and probably got the chick's number. but what fun would that be, that's not stupid enough.

so i tell the girl that i have to go right in the middle of the song and i run out after her, and we're over by her car hugging for a while. she offers to take me home cause i rode in the limo with the wedding party. so i go home with her to my place, and at first we're talking very innocently, just hanging out...but then we wound up on the couch making out, then in my bed making out and fooling around. then we fell asleep, when we woke up we spent the whole day in bed lying around and talking, then it happened...we had sex.

i don't know what the ****. i'm speechless now, and it's more messed up than ever b/c i don't know if anything has changed...oh god please strike me down with a big ass bolt of lightning.

[halis123456789]

haha omg this chick is some piece of work...we go out to eat today, afterwards, and she tells me how she did it for me (the sex that is). wow. cause gee it seemed like at the time there were two of us involved, and she seemed to enjoy it quite a bit herself.

i mean i told her i wanted to do it, and finally she said okay let's do it, and then once she agreed i had second thoughts and backed off and stopped everything. then after a while, she was like alright do you have a condom and moved it forward herself. apparently, though, it was all for me, out of the good natural kindness in her heart. how nice of her.

also, she already wants me to hang out with her again tonight, obviously just as friends, since the sex meant nothing. she wants me back right where i was before, i think she is just desperately trying to get back in control of me, and now she is using the ultimate weapon against me...but we "can't be doing this anymore" were her words so...

what in god's name is with this chick? ladies, any thoughts? oh and the reason i ran after her that i left out, when she walked by me dancing with the other girl she was obviously jealous and pissed off and said, "yeah, well, see you later i guess." and it worked like a charm on me...

[Chlorine]

Halis123456789------After reading through everything, and than going back to your title....there's nothing here to suggest friendship. Real friends are just platonic. Not all this yo-yoing about. She does like you, but years ago you rejected her. So this time around, she is rejecting you. But she does like you. It's obvious because she got upset at the wedding party.

[compaqevo]

I think you should tell her plainly that you are not interested in being her friend, and she should stop calling/contacting you unless she decides she is interested in you. I know it sounds harsh, but your first obligation is to yourself, and you need to protect your own interests. It is awfully hard to move on when the girl won't let you. (Frankly, I find her behavior rather selfish.)

Good luck.

omg thankyou! im going through the same thing, n thats the best peice of advice ive had yet!!

the annoying thing is that i think to myself 'oh just keep on going, these feelings will pass soon', but wouldnt it be so much simpler if when u started dating someone you would stay in love for the rest of your life, i would love that.

but life is life haha

[Gigabitch]

also, she already wants me to hang out with her again tonight, obviously just as friends, since the sex meant nothing. she wants me back right where i was before, i think she is just desperately trying to get back in control of me, and now she is using the ultimate weapon against me...but we "can't be doing this anymore" were her words so...
..

Did she actually say that the sex meant nothing? I think you're using the ultimate weapon against her, too. You two should quit messing around with each other and either get together or not.
You sound like emotionally irresponsible children, possibly too reckless to be allowed to use their genitals.

[halis123456789]

When it comes to men and women, SHE is about as clueless as a 12 year old. She didn't really get involved with anyone until college, so it's almost like she's behind the times a little (ie high school drama or something.) Granted, I am playing games with her too, but that's the only way to get this chick to respond.

No, she did not say the sex meant nothing, she told me that the sex was all just for me, implying that she never had an interest in it, it was merely for my benefit out of the kindness of her heart. How detached.

When we were in bed (before the sex) here were a few things we talked about. I asked her if I was just wasting my time and if I should find someone else, she shook her head yes. Also, she was telling me that we could never date it would just be weird, which I rejected I mean we practically do already. Last valentine's day who do you think was the one that took her to dinner? That's right me and her. She was also relating to me how selfish she was and how if we dated, her cheating on me would be a certainty.

That last one really got under my skin, in fact, after everything, I think it's the one piece of information that will allow me to continue to not see her or talk to her. I hung out with her last night, but people I don't get to see often were in from out of town for the wedding. Basically she has related to me very clearly that the sex did not change anything, and you know what? I agree with her. It didn't change anything, except making the friendship even less plausible.

I am going to stop picking up her calls, and get out of town this weekend. If she comes to see me at my apartment, which is likely at some point, once it's been established that I am not happy that she is there, and that I am upset, I am going to let my feelings fly for a couple minutes. Then when the dust settles, and things get quiet, I'm going to get right in her face, look her in the eye and say, "This is it. This is goodbye. If you ever cared for me the way you say you do, then you will let me go. You will let me forget, and destroy, all my feelings for you, so that I can move on, and be happy like everyone else."

Then I am going to tell her to go home. There will be no touching, no hugging, no kissing, this time.

[Gigabitch]

Dude, she's a lunatic. She's a bunny-boiling wacko. Run away.

[Only-virgins]

I find it funny how you mentioned that you have never been married and are 24. Almost as if it was normal to get married at 24 or something.

[halis123456789]

okay, now i think she's insane. she called me up tonight, and at first i wasn't going to pick up...then i figured why not, why be a child, if i don't want to talk to her i'll just tell her...big mistake. she said she needed to talk to someone because she couldn't get ahold of anyone. she was reluctant to tell me, so i said just tell me.

she was calling me to tell me that she thought she might be pregnant, by some guy that i never even heard of. forget it. i've had enough. why she would ever think to call me to tell me something like this is sub-human..this chick is spiraling out of control, and she is determined to take me down with her. i think that she is a narcissist, and she gets off on making other people miserable. it's the only thing that makes sense, and it's very disturbing to think about.

i have to stop all contact and get away from this chick immediately, before she drags me into the pits of hell. this is madness. i give it an honest go and she breaks my heart, i start completely ignoring her and we wind up having sex. this chick is not right. she is doing me a lot of harm, by having sex with me, she managed to **** me up again. i was doing fine before it happened.

THIS IS DONE. thanks for all your advice, but she is not the person i thought she was, at all. jesus christ she has me so upset right now, someone please back me up here.

[Junket]

Why did this dumbass report his own thread?

Fúcking attention whore, I hate this shit.

[vinnie00]

Case in point: THIS is why men and women can't be friends.

I totally agree with this, most of the time it becomes more than friends. Isn't there a book with that title around by the way? Anyone read it?

[Tedel]

Late on the topic, but my 0.02 anyway.

Two words for you: kiss her.

Don't ever tell a girl you like her again. These days girls are pretty unsure of themselves and they get scared and shake like leaves when someone tells them such a thing. Just go, measure the moment, and if it is appropriate, kiss her. After the kiss you can tell her whatever you want, except for I love you. That will scare them to death again.

To the others: All of my friends but two are females. No lust, a friendly spank once a blue moon but no feelings. True friendship is possible between a boy and a girl.