Girl initiates physical contact with a guy who likes her but whom she doesn't like?

[smackie9]

Wow, thanks for all the opinions!

Just to answer the question, we didn't go to a cinema for a movie. She came to my room late at night and we watched a movie together. I didn't do anything particular that time cos I didn't wanna push it too hard.

What puzzles me is that she still chats with me a lot after she DEFINITELY knows that I like her and there was this physical contact thing, also after she definitely knows that I like her.

Anyway, I think I'm done with her, at least for the next couple of weeks. Maybe that way, she'll show what her true intention is...

Oh and this just confirms my assumption.

[searock]

Her true intentions are to be your friend, nothing else. If you feel like it's too painful to be friends with her while you have a crush on her, then the no contact decision is the best you can take. Just know that if she wants to hang around with you, or talk with you (even about personal issues), it doesn't mean that she is romantically interested in you. As for the "physical contact" you speak of, as I said, it doesn't seem to me like there is any sexual tension at all. It doesn't even seem like it's "a lot". Casual brushing her arm against your chest means nothing but comfortable friendliness, unless there's (mutual) sexual tension.

[HeartIsAching]

Somebody tell me why, if you want a freaking buddy to go to the movies with why you wouldn't just take your same sex friend and be done with it?

Cuz dudes don't go to da movies wit' udder doods. It's against the rules.

[smackie9]

Wow, thanks for all the opinions!
She came to my room late at night and we watched a movie together. I didn't do anything particular that time cos I didn't wanna push it too hard.

Now it all makes sense....dude she wanted you to make a move! and since you didn't she didn't feel desired and that is a turn off....you wimped out. I'm not buying your excuse....I say you were too insecure to make a move so you sat there like a dork talking about personal stuff....ew! Girls want a guy that have confidence, to take the lead physically.....you blew it. Now just do what I told you, and see where it takes you. Next time if you do get a second chance with her, make a move will ya?

[smackie9]

*sighs* I realize I'm the oldest poster here but in my day if a guy asked you to the movies there was no question that it was a date. We did not hang with men or use them as activity partners. If a guy asked you to do anything with him, then he wanted you. It was our job to figure out in what capacity. E.g. As a potential partner or to figure out if we were easy.
I may be out of touch with things however; it was much simpler and young men didn't have to be told about the "Friends Ladder" practically on a daily basis in relationship forums.

* To add: That's my take on it as well. In which case Op should totally back off and not secure a place on that Friends Ladder with her.

So how old are you? You can't be that much older than me.

[Wakeup]

Cuz dudes don't go to da movies wit' udder doods. It's against the rules.

Not where I go. There are gaggles of the little bastiges and they hoot and make too much freaking noise.

So how old are you? You can't be that much older than me.

As I said to my hubby, "I'm middle aged" wherein he replied "BS.. No one lives to be 116. lol...

[smackie9]

I am middle aged too, and we did hang out with guys in my day, and the friend zone issues existed then too. I feel girls today do understand that it is a "date" but rather choose to just ignore the guy's intention. All in all as they get older they finally get it sorted out eventually on how it all works. This generation is damn lucky that they have the google net to access such knowledge from us old farts. Whether they use it remains to be seen lol.

[Wakeup]

I am middle aged too, and we did hang out with guys in my day, and the friend zone issues existed then too. I feel girls today do understand that it is a "date" but rather choose to just ignore the guy's intention. All in all as they get older they finally get it sorted out eventually on how it all works. This generation is damn lucky that they have the google net to access such knowledge from us old farts. Whether they use it remains to be seen lol.

I've got at least 15 years on you, Smackie. Aren't you in your early 40's? When I was in highschool/college. The girls didn't hang with guys ... we hung with our girl mates and we dated the man we wanted to be romantic with. We did not cuddle in bed with our girlfriends and so we would never think to do that with a man that we were'nt in a romantic relationship with either. Black and White.

[smackie9]

no I'm, almost 50 *sigh*

[Wakeup]

no I'm, almost 50 *sigh*

Oh, well in that case, I've just got 8 years on you then. Anyway, I think we both think quite a bit younger that our actual ages.

cheers.

[smackie9]

I thought there was a whole lot of free lovin in the 60's since the introduction of the birth control pill...hanging out together. The Be-ins, Timothy Leary (whom I have met) tune in, turn on, drop out lol. The 70's were just as swingin with sex and the explosion of drug use. Wow what I time eh?

[smackie9]

I've got at least 15 years on you, Smackie.

Oh how I wish! :-D

[SimonR]

smackie9: We are both Chinese living in Singapore and the culture here is... well... more conservative. So I'm not sure it would be a good idea going straight for the kiss... And that is also why I pay so much attention to the physical contact...

[SimonR]

But you are definitely right about constantly asking to hang out. Could have dropped me straight into the friends zone

[Wakeup]

I thought there was a whole lot of free lovin in the 60's since the introduction of the birth control pill...hanging out together. The Be-ins, Timothy Leary (whom I have met) tune in, turn on, drop out lol. The 70's were just as swingin with sex and the explosion of drug use. Wow what I time eh?

The 60's were a little before my romantic days but yes it was about free love.. not platonic friendships with member of the freaking opposite sex. In the 70's We had platonic friends of the opposite sex but they were our gf's boyfriends and we NEVER hung out one-on-one with our gf's bf. We did party with them ocassionally without the gf there, but they were just that "parties". We didn't hang with other men like they were our best male girlfriend. If we weren't doing them, then we didn't do things alone with them. Period.