Life Altering Question...

[Pretender]

I think you are all wrong about billy not knowing this women and how he shouldn't make decisions anymore because they weren't all perfect. Mistakes is how we learn! Damn I didn't realize everyone that posted on this forum was perfect and didn't make mistakes like Billy, mind if I have all of your guy's autographs?

Billy I will pray for you and hope it works out. I would be doing the exact same thing in your situation because I WOULD NEVER want to live with all the what if's.

Hope she realizes how much you love her.

[jane]

wow..

I cant speak for anyone else but I am NOT prefect nor did I say anywhere that I am.
Its not a question about whether or not he made a mistake.. the mistake was made and he freely admitted that. I have been there too. I think that in some form or another .. we ALL have.
If you were talking about me, you miss interprited what I wrote.
I am not always good about expressing my feelings so..

what I meant was just this question...

if he loved her to begin with .. why then, did he walk away?

Pretender... this is my opinion.. thats all.

[LightOn]

In the case of having children the what ifs should no longer persuade you. Unless it was a "what if" I am not a good parent?

[BillyGalbreath]

I am so ****ing confused now.

We didn't have time to really sit and talk about it... We are going to sit and talk about it on sunday when we are both free to do so.. alone... But last night she asked me what it was about and I told her that I want her back. All she said was 'it aint gonna happen' and that was all that was said about it all...

But the weird thing is that she started to look at me differently - the way she used to look at me when we were together... Perhaps she is thinking about it in her head ? idk

She visited with me and my family last night - which she never visits my family - not since we were together - and she sat next to me on the couch - idk what is going on

She said no - but she is acting yes

someone tell me wtf is going on here

[squirrley]

Billy I hate to burst your bubble-but she meant it. When a woman doesnt hesistate in her anwser-then thats what you should bet on. It might be different if she said she needed time or something-but she flat told you it wasnt gonna happen. Shes being nice to you Im sure she doesnt want to hurt your feelings therefore isnt being cold.


Its time to let go...

[LightOn]

Happy Birthday man!! Some present eh?

Dude I don't think anyone can truely tell you what is going on but you. You told her you want her back and she said "it aint gonna happen", which that does mean no. Take it with that even if she wants you back deep down....She has to be the one to make that decision, you already told her you wanted her back remember? You can survive without her right? Take time off from "Women" for a bit, regroup your thinking. You might feel all confused because you are taking on to much, it's time to move on with more simple things.

[sfalexi]

Originally posted by Pretender
I think you are all wrong about billy not knowing this women and how he shouldn't make decisions anymore because they weren't all perfect. Mistakes is how we learn!

I hate to pick on you Billy, but looks like you bounced from one girlfriend to another because you were 'into the same drugs', got into more drugs, then had a failed marriage (after two kids), now have a third kid. Yes mistakes are how we learn, but isn't it better to get outside help if it'll help you AVOID future mistakes?

My friend's ex-girlfriend was in 11 accidents. All her fault. ELEVEN! by the time she was 19. That was 11 mistakes. Do I trust that "she's learned from her mistakes" and allow her to drive me around? No. As a matter of fact, I trust her LESS, the more mistakes she's made.

Originally posted by Pretender
Damn I didn't realize everyone that posted on this forum was perfect and didn't make mistakes like Billy, mind if I have all of your guy's autographs?

Nice sarcasm. Undeserved, but nice (see? I can do it too.) None of us are perfect. Did you manage to pass up all of OUR respective posts trying to deal with the problems we've run into and/ or created? If we thought we were perfect we wouldn't be asking for advice here. We've all forsaken 'perfection' by asking for advice and know that the more knowledge about and ways to view a problem you have, the more confident you can be in your decision.

Originally posted by Billy41684
She said no - but she is acting yes

someone tell me wtf is going on here

Don't count your chickens before they hatch. Take the "no" and see what she says on Sunday when you talk about it. She may in fact be acting as though it was a "yes", or you may just subconsciously be more 'perceptive' and subconsciously twisting things into your advantage to make it a 'yes'. Kinda like when you see a hot girl and she smiles at you as she says hello. Chances are she's just being friendly, but your mind says, "She wants me."

Alexi

[Pretender]

I didn't mean to offend anyone but Icequeens telling him he shouldn't make his own decisions anymore was ludicrous. And the story about your gf being in car accidents has nothing to do with decisions and mistakes. Obviously she is just a very bad driver and shouldn't have a license after 11 accidents. But that is two very different things someone driving stupid and someone making bad life choices are different.

[sfalexi]

didn't mean to offend anyone but Icequeens telling him he shouldn't make his own decisions anymore was ludicrous.

True. But getting outside advice on decisions ins't a bad idea AT ALL. As a matter of fact, that's what we all are doing on THIS forum!

And the story about your gf being in car accidents has nothing to do with decisions and mistakes. Obviously she is just a very bad driver and shouldn't have a license after 11 accidents. But that is two very different things someone driving stupid and someone making bad life choices are different.

First off, not my ex. I wouldn't go out with her unless a gun was pointed at my head. Second, it DOES have to do with decisions and mistakes. She thinks she's a racecar driver and doesn't understand, after 11 accidents, that she doesn't know how to handle a car. How many kids from different women will it take Billy to understand that, "Hey. Maybe I should have someone else advise me and listen to their advice." (Sorry to pick on you again, but this thread is ultimately about you.) Driving stupid and making bad life choices are two different things. But they both warrant caution. Maybe she wouldn't have been in so many accidents if she had LISTENED to someone else say, "SLOW THE **** DOWN!" or had soemone else drive her around. And likewise with Billy if he had someone there to say, "DOn't do it man. You'll regret it later."

Alexi

[Pretender]

I really don't understand what you are talking about Sfalexi because I'm sure Billy doesn't regret his kids and you are making it sound like he should in a way?...

And I never said getting advice from someone was a bad idea I didn't even go there so you making that point had no point. I think it's a great idea to get peoples advice never said it wasn't. I just disagreed with he shouldn't be allowed to make his own decisions.

Your friends ex just sounds like an idiot if she thinks shes a racecar driver and goes too fast. Making bad choices does not warrant you an idiot.

[sfalexi]

I'm sure he doesn't regret his kids. But now he has to deal with two of them moving to california and how little he'll get to see them if they do. And even now he has to split up his time between two women who have custody of different kids. All I'm saying is that unless he has always WANTED and had a dream of kids being in other people's custody, maybe he should seriously consider outside help by someone who can help him make his decisions and not be here asking about how to deal with consequences of a bad decision he might have made.

Alexi

[BillyGalbreath]

I'm sure he doesn't regret his kids. But now he has to deal with two of them moving to california and how little he'll get to see them if they do. And even now he has to split up his time between two women who have custody of different kids. All I'm saying is that unless he has always WANTED and had a dream of kids being in other people's custody, maybe he should seriously consider outside help by someone who can help him make his decisions and not be here asking about how to deal with consequences of a bad decision he might have made.

Alexi

First off - I have custody of my son - and Robin (the woman I want back with) has custody of my two daughters -- If we get back together then all my kids will be together

Second - I am not asking about how to deal with consequences of a bad decision - I am here asking if I should tell her how I feel or not - but it is too late now - I have told her my feelings and alot has happened since then...

Update - Last Thursday I told her how I felt about her and that I wanted to get back with her - I used very few words, which was another mistake I made - and then she replied with very little words - "It ain't gonna happen, honey" - then we both went inside so she could visit with my family and Bryce and me. This confused me about the whole situation because she never comes to visit my family - she hasnt done that since we were together over 2 years ago... She then left and we made plans for Sunday to go out and have coffee at Denny's. Well, she brought along her twin sister, and her friend Jennifer - and Jennifer brought her b/f -- This to me seemed like a sign that she did not want to talk about such personal things as I did so I just dropped the whole subject and had a good time with everyone as friends... She still sat next to me and everything and looked at me the same as when we were together - but I understand why now - When we were together we had such a strong relationship because we were really good friends. And for all of you who dont really know, I dont have very many friends at all - prolly like 2 or 3... - Well I figured out that she is looking at me as a really good friend. That is something I have not seen in a very long time so I did not understand it at first.

So basically to make a long story short - she knows how I feel, I know how she feels, and we are still best of friends... nothing more.

This has hurt me, I wont lie about that, but even more so it has made me stronger and wiser. It is time for me to truely move on with my life. My past has been full of errors and bad decisions, but everything happens for a reason. What does not kill you only makes you stronger and wiser.

And as of today - the first day of my awakening - I have decided to quit smoking - I have not had a ciggarrette since I woke up this morning - After I got to work I decided I am going to quit.

My body has gone thru some major changes in the last 2 months also. I have been extremely active and thus my body is getting slimmer and I am beginning to get upper chest, back, and arm muscles like crazy. I still have a 'beer belly' but I plan to start doing something about it starting this weekend. Hell, maybe I will start tonight.

I have known my goals for a long time of how I want to look and be - I have been getting farther form my goals for 4 years now - Now it is time that I reach my goals. My eyes are finally open.

[sfalexi]

And as of today - the first day of my awakening - I have decided to quit smoking - I have not had a ciggarrette since I woke up this morning - After I got to work I decided I am going to quit.

My body has gone thru some major changes in the last 2 months also. I have been extremely active and thus my body is getting slimmer and I am beginning to get upper chest, back, and arm muscles like crazy. I still have a 'beer belly' but I plan to start doing something about it starting this weekend. Hell, maybe I will start tonight.

I have known my goals for a long time of how I want to look and be - I have been getting farther form my goals for 4 years now - Now it is time that I reach my goals. My eyes are finally open.

Awesome man! Congrats!

In related news, do you know if she's still going to move to Cali?

Sorry it didn't work out like you wanted, but sometimes life can suck. And don't forget to probe Ironlift until he yells at you and stops responding to your PMs about getting into shape. Looks like he REALLY knows what's going on! (being a personal trainer and whatnot)

Alexi

[BillyGalbreath]

ok - well its been about 33 hours now since I had a smoke - I am all shaking and shit - lol

I have quit once before so I know I can do this - In about 3 - 5 days I will be fine...

She still wants to go to cali But I am going to do everything in my power to make her stay - I have set up a meeting with my lawyer for Thursday - I was told by my mother that she cannot take my kids out of this state unless I sign something syaing I will let her... So I am going to look into that...

On the other hand I have a plan... You see, I still want her back... So I am going to do what I did the first time I stole her from a mariage... I was just her best friend. We hung out everyday for like a month. Then one day I just leaned over and kissed her. I am sure it is gonna take longer than a month this time around - but I am sure she will start having feelings for me again if I just be her best friend and hang out with her again every day. This time we will have our kids to play with together too. So it might work out better this way.

I will keep you guys posted.

[Pretender]

Definetly see that lawyer about her taking the kids out of state because I don't think she can do it either.