Why is gf lying to me about past?

[Wakeup]

OMG... yes.

[smackie9]

sorry but a workout class with a whole lot of others around would be an issue because they dated at one time? really?? That would be like saying take off all the guys you had dated off your FB page.

[Rowen]

"She said she didn't want it to be awkward when I met him". This tells me this guy has shown her that he is insecure and she didn't want this to be an issue when introducing them. The OP even said and I quote "I would not, however, approve of her attending a class he was teaching if I knew they had been intimate in the past." This screams insecurity.

IMO his insecurities are forcing her to tell these lies....it's not right but she is doing it because she's stupidly in love with him. They need to go their separate ways because the honeymoon is over.....this relationship is a bust.

Thank you for clearing that up; now, I can follow your logic more. Under those circumstances, I can see how that can be a possibility (like anything in this thread, really). The fact that still remains is that if he is insecure like you're saying, it's not going to work. It would probably be better for them to part, in my opinion.

[smackie9]

I boils down to different expectations and incompatibility....they need to not be in a relationship anymore because they have a different perspective on what is appropriate. She's paranoid of his reactions, and she should have just told him straight so that she wouldn't be wasting her time with him. Her telling the truth or not wouldn't have made any difference....there still would be disagreement.

I think the whole thing is silly to get jealous over an ex, and seeing that she was upset at her friend's GF's reaction she thinks it's ridiculous too.

[Wakeup]

Sorry, but its after the work-out-class that could be the problem. Anyway. You don't see anything wrong with exes hanging around after the sex is gone but he does and lots of other people do as well. One-on-one date like activities whatever? Its not always about insecurity. It's about personal standards and boundaries that if you (the general you) yourself wouldn't indulge in then it's natural to expect your partner to also not indulge in.

And it's hardly the same thing being in one another's company and being on a FB page. Although even so, we all know how many threads there are about that in itself causing infidelities and betrayals.

I find it odd that so many people equate personal boundaries with insecurity. If you don't let down your own personal boundaries and if you don't let others crosss them (by leaving if they insist on doing it) then you have more confidence and are more secure. Not less and you eventually end up with someone that is very much compatible with yourself... = long lasting happy unions.

That's my take on it, anyway.

[smackie9]

That's like saying she can't go to the coffee shop by her work anymore because she had a one night stand with the guy that makes her cappuccino......who knows what happens if she sits at a table to eat her scone.

I can see an issue if they continued to do date like things like just them going to a movie or her sleeping on his couch because she got too drunk....but an exercise class? No that's insecurity.

I had a run in with a co-worker, because her BF (another co-worker) was helping me put stock into a storage room a 10x 8 storage room, no door....saying it was a confined space and it was inappropriate. There were people all around in the warehouse, doing our job. That's been an on going joke for 3 years now.

[Wakeup]

*reposting due to so many additions*

Agree to disagree on your first (sorry) first paragraph. Agree with the third (which is an apple to an orange when compared to this thread anyway. It would only be a problem with the coffee shop situ if they were still friends and seeing one another one on one like Op has been doing with her ex and lying to the bf about it.

The second I also agree with but that doesn't mean OP is insecure. There isn't enough information to come to that conclusion.

The only thing we know for sure is that she's a liar and he's paranoid and untrusting now because of it.

[Rowen]

I think we can all agree, no matter what we believe the explanations are, that the relationship won't work. Not like this.

[Maximus16]

Actually my gf started all this by getting bent outta when I commented on an exes page on Facebook. She said herself that exes should be left in past. I agree and apologized. So if that's how she feels she shouldn't being lying about an ex so she can still see him. Kinda hypocritical don't ya think. Also...everyone is entitled to have expectations and boundaries when it comes to relationships. If hanging with exes is so important to you you make that known to the other person so they have the option to not participate.

[Rowen]

Then break up with her. It is NOT this difficult.

[smackie9]

You commented on an exes page? **roll eyes** you both need to chill.