The Failure of the 2 Parent System

[IndiReloaded]

I keep saying: if I can find suitable candidates for a Heinlein Line Marriage, I'd be all for it.

You are right Fras. But take heart: if things keep going the way they are (i.e. most families needing both parents to work to get by), financially many folks will have no choice but to start living with their extended family again. Its already like that in places like Japan (very expensive, esp in cities), tho there are cultural reasons for that also. Many kids here are living with their parents into their late 20s+ for the same reason as well. They simply can't afford to live out on their own, with all their school debt, and no way to buy their own home.

[Yggdrasil]

I keep saying: if I can find suitable candidates for a Heinlein Line Marriage, I'd be all for it.

The Moon Is a Harsh Mistress.

[IndiReloaded]

One of my favourites, Ygg. You? There's a book thread on the forum someplace... Gribbles or another I think.

[DoesntMatter]

All I read was the title

I think it is because women are keep being told they can do anything a guy can do and should have careers of their own and if they don't they are somehow old-fashioned or less respectable. Well fucck that nothing could be further from the truth in terms of respectability. My mom retired when she had her first kid so she could stay home and raise us and that is how it has been for the last 23 years (age of my older sister). My family is one of the most functional I know of

Today there is this generation of self-centered greedy kids raised in daycares who learned to only think for themselves and be selfish little fuccks

[Petit Papillon]

All I read was the title

I think it is because women are keep being told they can do anything a guy can do and should have careers of their own and if they don't they are somehow old-fashioned or less respectable. Well fucck that nothing could be further from the truth in terms of respectability. My mom retired when she had her first kid so she could stay home and raise us and that is how it has been for the last 23 years (age of my older sister). My family is one of the most functional I know of

Today there is this generation of self-centered greedy kids raised in daycares who learned to only think for themselves and be selfish little fuccks

I don`t think mother needs to stay home and father should work to raise their kids good. Some families have no choice ,and both parents need to work to be able to cook meal for their children.Your family just had luck that Your mum could stay at home and become housewife 24/7 . But I don`t think there is a rule that if children `grow up in a daycare`,like You said , that they become selfish fukkers thinking just about themselves.
I know some selfish,really bad bitch,and ot only her, who grew up at home with her mum being there 24/7 and father at work.

One example, if Your mum is at home, I know it from my own experience, I just don`t feel like cooking ,because `Mum is there,and she will cook for sure`. But now when I`m just with my bf , I need to cook or we won`t eat. The same with children who are alone at home while their parents are working. They learn some independency,what You don`t do ,having mum at home all the time.

[Yggdrasil]

One of my favourites, Ygg. You? There's a book thread on the forum someplace... Gribbles or another I think.

I read pretty much everything from Robert A. Heinlein

[ecojeanne]

All I read was the title

I think it is because women are keep being told they can do anything a guy can do and should have careers of their own and if they don't they are somehow old-fashioned or less respectable. Well fucck that nothing could be further from the truth in terms of respectability. My mom retired when she had her first kid so she could stay home and raise us and that is how it has been for the last 23 years (age of my older sister). My family is one of the most functional I know of

Today there is this generation of self-centered greedy kids raised in daycares who learned to only think for themselves and be selfish little fuccks

i agree with what you are saying but there is the flip side to it that life has become more difficult, in a lot of cases both parents have to work otherwise they can't afford to live. if the family can afford to have one parent stay at home then it would be the optimal choice for the growth and benefit and security for the children...but in most cases (underprivileged) it's just not possible financially. the underprivileged do rely more on extended family tho. it's the rich/middle class that have become selfish fccks

[IndiReloaded]

So, the only value in work is to make money? If a family could afford not to work (say b/c of inheritance or investment), then they shouldn't?

[DoesntMatter]

For a responsible parent, if money is not a factor, then it comes down to having a career for some personal satisfaction or something, versus spending more time with your kids. I am extremely glad I got to spend so much time with my mom when I was a kid. Raising kids is a lot more important than a career when money isn't a factor. Especially for women. Yes, I am traditional about that- raising kids (the stay at home parent) is best left to the mothers most of the time

[IndiReloaded]

Well, DM, that's an interesting viewpoint. Especially given how lots of women who MUST work wish they could stay home to spend time with their kids. And then those who can stay home wish they could go out an pursue a career. My neighbour (who is an MD) solves this by working part-time in a clinic (instead of running her own practice).

Fortunately, there are many careers now that will allow the best of both (work and childraising). Many professionals can choose to do a lot of their work from home, which is preferable both for being available to kids and is eco-friendly. I rarely travel anymore for my job except to non-skype meetings, the odd site visit, or if I'm teaching a course. Its simply not worth my time to commute.

[LadieNisha4u2nv]

Honestly I wish I could spend all my time at home with my daughter and be happy than work in a shithole that makes me miserable.

I hate my job. I want to quit and am on the verge of doing so. I am also still sick and I lost 16 pounds in the last two months(probably more now). If I could afford to stay home I would. But sadly I'm forced to be out working and sick to my stomach all the time.

I want online classes so I could stay home with her and the next baby. I want a part time job close to my home in walking distance. I WANT TO GO TO THE STATES!!!!!

Sigh...this thread sorta made me feel miserable. I'm not a happy person these days.

[Gribble]

My first seven years I was raised by my mom, my grandmother, my great grandmother and my uncle. Best years of my life hands down. I could win the lottery and I'd still never know the joy of that period.

[IndiReloaded]

My first 12 years I was raised by my mother, my grandparents and my aunt and uncle. It brought me great joy, but it was also very difficult, to be in the epitome of 'broken' home.

Post your experience to the guy in the other thread whose GF is pregnant.

[Junket]

For a responsible parent, if money is not a factor, then it comes down to having a career for some personal satisfaction or something, versus spending more time with your kids. I am extremely glad I got to spend so much time with my mom when I was a kid. Raising kids is a lot more important than a career when money isn't a factor. Especially for women. Yes, I am traditional about that- raising kids (the stay at home parent) is best left to the mothers most of the time

See, you two are already arguing about the how the mother or father can juggle work and home.

My point is that they wouldn't have to juggle so many tasks if there were more people to assist, or assume responsibility for those tasks.

[ecojeanne]

^^ i think there are more people ready to assist sometimes but people have become suspicious of their capabilities of even their own family.

my brother is a perfect example his gf is hiring a childminder so she can go back to work when clearly the better option is to either choose her sister to mind or my mother or both who are both willing. so my nephew will be brought up by a stranger because they can afford it while they can live in a fabulous house helped by her full time salary (benefit financially but not of benefit to my nephew) this is not unusual but it is sad that family is not more involved anymore