Should i tell my ex i cheated on her before we broke up?

[bcgirl]

Randomly since i posted this she emailed me saying that she felt we had unfinished business and that she still loves me.

you must tell her before she makes a blind decision to go head first into a romantic relationship with you again to only find out years later down the road what happened.

[couchpotato]

If she wont have a way to find out,I wouldnt.
No need for unwanted problems.
Otherwise I will see you back here with the thread "I told the truth and got screwed.Help,I want my ex back"
Bury it!!

[searock]

If they remain friends (not best friends) then he can not tell her. If they get back together, he needs to tell her, otherwise the relationship will be founded on a lie and there's no point in that. She needs to know before she agrees to get back together with him. Otherwise it's like selling an old car as if it had run 0 miles or something.

[bcgirl]

lovesick....if the situation was reversed, would you want to know??

[Lover14]

I'm currently in a similar situation as i keep meeting up with my ex boyfriend and we're getting on great. If i was this girl, i would want to know about your secrets. She deserves to know the truth before committing to you again, it's not great to start with secrets and lies.

[love sick]

There's absolutely no way that she will ever find out unless i tell her.

Would i want to know if she had, i don't think so.

If it was a guy she met randomly while away in another country who she would never be in contact with again, had protected sex, hated doing it the next day and would never do it again why tell me?

Surely everybody can mess up once?

At this stage i'm pretty sure we'll just stay friends, i must be forgetting it didn't work out for a few reasons, different work hours was a big one and that won't be changing anytime soon unless one of us changes careers.

Maybe we're both going through that stage where you forget about all the stuff that didn't work and think it would be easy to get back together.

The continued meetings we have each week can't be doing us any good.

I'm going to meet up with her next week and see if we can find an answer weather that will be to stay friends or to give it another go.

If i come out with my mistake all i end up doing is risking loosing her for the rest of my life and there's no way i'm risking that over a night that meant absolutely nothing to me.

It's been great to hear everybody's views on this, it's made me think a lot about this over these last few days and i'm pretty happy now with how i'm going be.

[searock]

What you plan to do is wrong. It's ok if you stay friends, but if you want to be in a relationship with her, you shouldn't base the relationship on lies and dishonesty. I hope for your own sake that you reconsider, and decide not to take the easy way out. If telling her the TRUTH means losing her, so be it. Believe me, you don't want to start a relationship founded on dishonesty and deceiving. It's utterly pointless and wrong.

[love sick]

i replied to the her message and let her know that i just wanted to be friends.

With the main issue we're talking about here plus all the other problems we had that made us break up i think it's a big sign it's not meant to be.

I 'd say we came pretty dam close to making it work but just not close enough.

Obviously i've learnt it never pays to cheat and i will take that into my next relationship and hopefully that will be the final one.

[gardenofjade]

oh well, you did your best. she knew. all women know.