Sweet, sweet revenge. Well, not exactly.

[xElexis]

@searock: My initial plan was to send him a letter along with that little book, but right now I guess just the letter would do. I spent so, so much time on it I mean, even if he doesn't care, at least let the man know. I won't let my efforts go to waste, prolly turn it into a fiction read or something in the future

@toknow: Thank you, that is the perfect description of what I cannot stand of him. That was exactly what I thought that made me started writing. If you miss someone, call them. If you feel so strongly about them, let them know, right? I mean even if he doesn't give a shit about everything that I've done, at least I know that I've given my best and that I have no regrets in life by holding back or wondering and giving myself the chance to think of 'what ifs'. I know I've given my all and if this doesn't change anything (which probably will be the case), so be it.
Exactly my point. Maybe it'll be a lesson, maybe it'll be something else. I thank him because through this, I also learned to love and cherish more of those around me, who cared and appreciated me no matter how horrible I treated them.. because this is how I feel for him right now, but he just couldn't care. From day one until now, I get nothing but his selfish.. self-centered.. self. He's not worth it, but I still do it. And it will end very soon.

I'm just gonna have to cram up hundreds of pages worth of writing into a piece of paper. I'm feeling down partly because of this, and partly because I'm so afraid that I can never find another that could make me love this way again. But there's always better ones out there, right?

On a side note, how do we draw a line between co-dependency and one's unconditional love for someone?

[smackie9]

I can't understand why you want to pour your heart out to try to punish a guy that couldn't return the same feelings. It's obvious he did care enough to let you go for that reason. Not everyone is going to fall in love with you because you are falling for them. He realized you were and did you a favor not to take advantage of you. He was being very fair to you for doing so even tho you feel burned.....you falling for him is not his fault nor is his fault for not falling in love with you. This what life teaches you, you can't always get what you want.

If it was unconditional love, you would accept his wishes to part ways.....as the saying goes "If you love someone, let it go....if they come back to you then it was meant to be.

As far as I'm concerned you are inexperienced and really don't know the differance between love and being obsessed.

A counselor told me once ( I was in a simillar situation as you) if you try to show your hurt to them you let them win. If you don't you will show them you are the bigger and stronger person, that you can rise above this.

The best productive way to deal with this is to completely desolve this guy from your memory, by keeping busy, get out and be more social, go to parties, and meet new people...never look back. Writing that letter is going to make you relive that pain over and over.

[xElexis]

Okay, I guess I really was obsessed. You're right, you're right, you're right. Thank you smackie. I. Am. Moving. Forward.

[smackie9]

Keep that jounal, put it away for about 6 months, and pull it out to read it again. You will see it in a totally different perspective.....you will get what I mean.

[xElexis]

Done that before, hahah I get it, thank you