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Thread: I don't like having guests, wife does. What to do?

  1. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by BackUpOrGetStng View Post
    You're missing the point, or at least pretending to. The problem is that he doesn't like to be uncomfortable in his own home and his wife doesn't take his feelings into account. Stop minimizing his feelings on this. I don't think a box of crackers and juice is going fix the problem of his house being ****ed up or more importantly, his wife not taking his opinion into account. If it's not very often, I'd say he should deal with it too, but it seems to be pretty frequent.

    What gives you 'no doubt', that his wife makes the same sacrifices, when the only thing we know for sure about her is that she has completely disregarded her husbands wishes and is refusing to compromise with any of this? If it were me, I would grin and bear it, and have my wife deal with the mess, but I think the OPs feelings are completely valid.
    Sure they are valid but the OP has talked to his wife to no avail so I guess he has 2 choices. Divorce or suck it up.

    As you well know, there are just some fights not worth fighting in a marriage
    Last edited by surfhb; 16-05-12 at 11:08 AM.

  2. #17
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    I think his wife should just clean up after the houseguests and watch their kids since she's the one who invites them over all the time. She should also grow a spine and tell her family to have some respect for her home and her hospitality.
    Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. - Mohandas Gandhi

  3. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by bluesummer View Post
    I think his wife should just clean up after the houseguests and watch their kids since she's the one who invites them over all the time. She should also grow a spine and tell her family to have some respect for her home and her hospitality.
    What she should do here and what she actually does is not the problem

  4. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by surfhb View Post
    I wish I had a dollar for everytime I had to do something my wife wanted or attend a worthless event.....but I did it anyway because I climbed on board when I said " I do".
    Amen to this^. I'm part of this club too. Tho I wouldn't say 'worthless'. I think if you have a good relationship and you trust your partner's judgement, then you should be supportive of the things that are important to them. And vice-versa. Hell, what do *I* know tho.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
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  5. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by surfhb View Post
    What she should do here and what she actually does is not the problem
    Thanks, I get what the problem is. His wife isn't listening to him.

    So most other people's solution was suck it up or divorce. I simply suggested that he do neither. If she's going to continue to pass over his point of view on the subject then he can just play passive aggressive instead. So far this is the only issue the OP brought up where his wife isn't respecting his position or feelings on a particular issue. If this is the only instance where she acts this way, he has to pick his battles. If this is a continuing pattern throughout the relationship there is a much bigger issue, but that's not the way he's laid it out. Clear now?
    Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. - Mohandas Gandhi

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    The OP could just start walking around naked in the house all the time. Then his wife would lose enthusiasm for having guests over.
    Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from bad decisions.

  7. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by VincenzoG91 View Post
    The OP could just start walking around naked in the house all the time. Then his wife would lose enthusiasm for having guests over.
    You are awesome. LOL!
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
    --Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh

  8. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by VincenzoG91 View Post
    The OP could just start walking around naked in the house all the time. Then his wife would lose enthusiasm for having guests over.
    Omg awesome.

    I hate that we can't just 'like' posts anymore
    Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. - Mohandas Gandhi

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