so bored!!!!!!!!!!!

[Ellynn]

Another thing is that when shes not fully into it. Its just not gonna happen. Maybe something is distracting her. That could make it hard for her to just let go.

I know I have experienced that. Seriously you need to have a talk with her. If you can't communicate with her about this stuff, then its not gonna work too well. I learned that the more I was open about everything during sex, the chances of having an orgasm were greater. Instead of just lying there, I let him know if it was feeling good or if it just wasn't. Even if you don't express it in words, she could at least guide you non-verbally to what feels good.

[Blix]

Well I can't feel any sympathy for her if she isn't orgasming and isn't trying to. He's obviously willing to try other things and she's the one not budging.

So she's either orgasming or doesn't really care that she isn't.

~Blix

[Ellynn]

So she's either orgasming or doesn't really care that she isn't.

~Blix

Honestly, I don't think she is. If she was, trust me, I highly doubt she would respond the way she does.
But, I seriously think she in convinced its gonna hurt his feelings by telling him. Or, she's fustrated cuz it's just not happening. I do agree it is PARTIALLY her fault.

[Blix]

I say it's completely her fault. There has to be some way she'll orgasm and she doesn't seem to be willing to find that way. She's being stubborn and not working with him to get try and get hers, too.

~Blix

[vashti]

Honestly, I don't think she is. If she was, trust me, I highly doubt she would respond the way she does.
But, I seriously think she in convinced its gonna hurt his feelings by telling him. Or, she's fustrated cuz it's just not happening...

Or she thinks she IS and isn't impressed because she actually ISN'T...

Blix - how old are you?

EDIT - Oh yeah! I forgot - you are 15!!

[Blix]

Right. You forgot. <Insert eye rolling smiley>

If she thinks she's orgasming then she still won't budge and therefore never will. The position very well may not work for her. Then again she isn't making an effort...

Not much you can do with people like that. Unless you can find something to compel her to find something new.

~Blix

[Blix]

[url]http://www.loveforum.net/showthread.php?t=13444[/url]

It's the pills I'd bet.

~Blix

[Ellynn]

Right. You forgot. <Insert eye rolling smiley>

If she thinks she's orgasming then she still won't budge and therefore never will. The position very well may not work for her. Then again she isn't making an effort...

Not much you can do with people like that. Unless you can find something to compel her to find something new.

~Blix

I see what you are saying. For some people, missionary position alone does the trick. But if your not into it and just lie there, theres NO WAY its gonna work. (Unless your like super sensitive even to the slightest touch.) She should be open to experimenting.
I was pretty much always open to that. With one guy it did work for me, but with most of the others, it just didn't. I don't know if it was the lack of feeling comfortable with them, or maybe their technique, but it just wasn't happening. So, things usually fell apart. From fustration and from other things as well. But, I do think NOT orgasming was one of the big things that made things fall apart. They got fustrated it wasn't happening, as did I. I mean I did tell them it just wasn't happening. But after awhile, it almost felt like it would be easier to keep quiet and pretend like it was happening when it really wasn't. Didn't want to piss them off. And I noticed that they started to try to please me TOO much, and had all these high expectations of me haivng one. So therefore it was easier to fake in those situations. Didn't want to hurt the guys ego. So therefore it was like your damned if you speak up, and your damned if you don't.

If she has masterbated or had really good sex in the past with someone else, more then likely she has experienced an orgasm. Maybe her experiences now with her husband aren't living up to that?

[Blix]

Exactly... so she shouldn't just sit their if she wants to orgasm, if she isn't. Simple.

~Blix

[ogtripleog]

masturbate? nope she doesnt do that, I've even encouraged it at times, but no luck. Tried to rub her clit during sex and she just moves my hand and says no anytime I touch her. I have bought toys for her and let her buy toys of her own but she doesnt even use them....and I know b/c there is dust on them in the closet. Its not like she is using them and just isnt telling me.Thats a whole different story whith her, she tells me she has never masturbated. Dont understand the reasoning behind that, but if she doesnt want to Im not gonna pressure her. I try not to pressure her about our sex life because she just gets upset and says that its "never gonna live up to my(guy) standards". Its not that I have high standards, its just that I want an active sex life, tired of the same things all the time.

[vashti]

Well, honestly, some women are just not in to the toy thing. I myself prefer natural sex and if I were to use them, I certainly wouldn't tell my husband. It would feel like a violation of my privacy.

If she is unwilling to let you touch her clitoris, I would bet you anything she has not had an orgasm. It's just not happening for her. How long did you say you two have been together, and how old are you both?

[King Zarathu]

Seriously you need to have a talk with her. If you can't communicate with her about this stuff, then its not gonna work too well.

Okay I actually read throughout the posts and I cannot agree with that any more than I do--very well put, Ellynn.

Tried to rub her clit during sex and she just moves my hand and says no

Either she's a ****ing idiot or she's faking the orgasm. I'm going to go with the latter since you seem pretty cool...

If she is unwilling to let you touch her clitoris, I would bet you anything she has not had an orgasm.

.........nice.

Blix - how old are you?

EDIT - Oh yeah! I forgot - you are 15!!

Sweet! A 15 year old that doesn't sound like a ****ing idiot!

---

You see, I think that if she isn't doing anything at all to help herself (since she would, in fact, be helping herself) then you aren't really responsible... But then again, this situation is different (in my opinion) since we're talking about sex here. I can't really say anything other than what Ellynn said because I think she nailed it. You should really talk to her about it--if you aren't comfortable talking to her about sex (with proper timing, of course) then you shouldn't be having it in the first place.

Age?

[Ellynn]

Yeah, if she has never masterbated or at least tried toys OR at least let you touch her clit, Chances are she has never had an orgasm.

I don't know her reasoning behind why she doesn't want to experiment. Maybe she was taught it was wrong or something like that. I think its good to at least get an idea of what pleases you before having someone else try to. If I would have never had one solo, I would have been VERY disappointed during sex. I wouldn't even know what to expect or if Im doing it right etc. Or, I think my thoughts would be what my thoughts were when I first had sex. ( I thought to myself, "THIS is it?! This is what the big fuss is about?!") Of course it got alot better with practice and patience.
She really has nothing to go off of, so Im thinking it probably felt good and alright, but she just never got there. If shes not even comfortable with herself to experiment with solo sex, then chances are shes not gonna be comfortable to open up with you and to let go and have an orgasm.

[vashti]

I think she is probably pretty young and doesn't know WHAT to ask for because she doesn't know herself. I think it is a combination of technique and lack of emotional connection. Ogtripleog is a military guy (according to his profile), and everyone knows that military life is notoriously hard on marriages.

Have you been deployed for long periods of time Ogtripleog? Because you can't expect that when you come home, things would be exactly like they were before you left. You have to reconnect as slightly different people, almost like a new relationship. Women require emotional connection in order to be able to achieve orgasm, and orgasm is the motivator for sex. No emotional connection = no orgasm, no orgasm = no motivation for having sex.

And I still think the residual effects of birth control pills could be at play.

[Gigabitch]

I think it's possible that this isn't a sex problem at all. (See Vashti's last post regarding emotional connection)

When I was married, I couldn't get into sex if I was pissed off at my husband.

I find it hard to believe she doesn't masturbate. She sounds messed up.