Boyfriend DOES NOT like sex!

[pcmaster]

We have to see pics OP only then it will be possible to say if fault is in your vagina or in your BF. Maybe he had a reason to be grossed out or maybe he just rare freak.
If hes picky in girls that means he just have low sex drive. If you were real hairy down there then clean shave could refresh your sex life. Maybe he went down and it was real smelly? Again I can only guess since I cant see you both. Your best bet is go together to specialist who could help you.

[Cerby]

If he is grossed out by seeing a vagina in real life, I'd say he's probably not sexually attracted to women.

I've been grossed out, more than once. And I can assure you the I am straight, and love sex. Could be a hygiene issue, hair issue, weight issue, could be several things. I think the OP would need to dig in further and find out why he was grossed out, because it isn't out of the question to be put off by someone else's anatomy, even if the rest of them are attractive. The only way I got to the point of "grossed out" was by being attracted enough to that person initially to see their bits up close and personal.

This is also why I would have never saved myself for marriage, there are just too many surprises left too late that way.

[searock]

I've been grossed out, more than once. And I can assure you the I am straight, and love sex. Could be a hygiene issue, hair issue, weight issue, could be several things.

I agree that there are factors that might make a straight man grossed out by a vagina, but as we both said there has to be something grossly "wrong" with it. Hair by itself shouldn't be an issue, since it's totally natural: I imagine it's more of a preference whether to want it shaven or unshaven. Bad hygiene is a more likely explanation. I'm not sure what weight has to do with it? Do grossly overweight women have "different" vaginas from average-weight women in a way that makes them (the vaginas) gross?

What I'm saying is that only someone who was not sexually attracted to women would find a "regular" vagina gross.

In this case, this is what we know, and what makes me say that he isn't attracted to women:

1. OP's was the first vagina the guy ever saw in real life.
2. OP hasn't said there's anything "wrong" or unusual about her vagina. Is there, OP? For comparison with "normal" vaginas, check here: http://vaginasoftheworld.tumblr.com/ . While you're at it, you might try showing your boyfriend that website... I'm pretty sure he'll find it illuminating.

[PansyDoodle]

I have analyzed myself thoroughly, shaved, and tried to keep myself as clean as possible. I've seen other vaginas, and mine is definitely normal as far as I can tell. :/ As far as weight is concerned, all I can say is that I'm 5"2, 115 lbs, and exercise for more than an hour a day. I'm not the most attractive, but I don't think I'm terrible. Maybe I am?

Yes, he is a clean freak. He has a hard time with medical things and graphic violence, as well.

He has gotten used to it, yes, but he is still hesitant on things like oral or during my cycle. It's more the intense change in interest and drive that is getting to me. He used to be so romantic always talking dirty and flirting constantly while we were alone. Now he only wants to do non-sexual activities, and acts like a little kid. So far I've been the one asking, not him. I've tried oral and handjobs but usually he has to finish himself.

This is just very different from what I was expecting. I thought he would be jumping at the prospect of finally having sex with a woman, a woman he loved no less, but he isn't....this is very different from what I was expecting from a sex life would be and what it promised to be for us based on our make-out life before.

So I guess the question in my mind IS should I end this, are we sexualy incompatible?

[searock]

Yes... I think you should end this. It sounds like he has some issues to deal with on his own before he's ready to have a relationship with someone - a sexual relationship at any rate.

[anonymous_a]

He sounds very sexually immature. Maybe you just don't do it for him. Move on.

[Valixy]

Know what? He should be grateful for having someone like you, but how can he, the poor ignorant? Before you start feeling insecure about yourself, maybe you should declare him sexually incompatible. He really has a bad attitude towards sex and is not fair on you to suffer because of that. If he is uncapable of realising that he has a problem or more than one and do something about that, he's never going to make you feel better.

[pcmaster]

Well if two virgins starting to have sex ofcourse theres gona be some issuses. I like idea of trying other partners to see how other guys react on you. Maybe for other guy your vagina will be bedroom flower from heaven. But if you want to have sex while on period then not every guy will want do it - its normal that he have problems with that.

Anyway laughting kills sexual tension. In fact it breaks any tension, I noticed(on this forum) these laughting partners are not into sex regardless of gender.

[smackie9]

Ya I'm gonna go with "immature". Girl there is no point in staying with someone that has this many issues with sex. It's making your relationship and sexual experience horrible and it's all because of him. Now that he has regressed to a nonsexual relationship, it's time to bail. You are definitly missing out on a great experience...he's a tool, you can do better, so don't settle because you had feelings for him.

[fearoflove]

Sex is in the mind. He hasn't made the association between pleasure and sex.

[Ginger2013]

Sex is important in a relationship, in my opinion and if the sex is lacking, the relationship won't last. He's had time to get over his immaturity, if he doesn't step up in bed, find someone who will. And don't go giving him oral if he refuses to reciprocate. It's supposed to be pleasurable for both of you.

[Valixy]

Sex is in the mind. He hasn't made the association between pleasure and sex.

It may be that his neuronal connections are a bit slow, but his attitude is the worst. He needs to step up a bit, make an effort to start perceiving his partner, develop some tact and get instructed. The problem is not doing something badly but not trying to make it better. If things don't naturally happen wonderfully, they should both work towards improving and the impression I have is that he isn't trying much. The OP should communicate to him something along these lines in a very positive way of course, suggesting to learn and experiment more together but if there weren't any changes after some time, I think she should leave (unless she'd suddenly feel more comfortable about things the way they are at the moment).

[ProfessorDrop]

On the subject of some of these things (like period sex or just wanting sex in general) he makes a very good point. It's his body, he does what he wants with it. I can't force him to do what he doesn't want with it. If the roles were reversed, I would be the boyfriend pressuring my girlfriend for sex.

Both being virgins, I have no idea how sex plays into the relationship or the dynamic of it! Maybe the problem IS on my end, and Im just being too pressuring. Honest thoughts on this:?

[searock]

On the subject of some of these things (like period sex or just wanting sex in general) he makes a very good point. It's his body, he does what he wants with it. I can't force him to do what he doesn't want with it. If the roles were reversed, I would be the boyfriend pressuring my girlfriend for sex.

Both being virgins, I have no idea how sex plays into the relationship or the dynamic of it! Maybe the problem IS on my end, and Im just being too pressuring. Honest thoughts on this:?

I take it you are the OP?

No, I don't think the problem is on your end. It's perfectly normal to want to have sex with your partner when you're in a relationship. He's the one who has issues of some kind and you should not feel guilty or "abnormal" for having those very normal desires and needs. Such desires and needs aren't being fulfilled and met in your current relationship, so you should break up with him and find someone who is able to satisfy you under every aspect.

[Noveyor]

Ok, a bit of background.
My bf and I recently became sexually active. We are in our twenties, were both virgins, and we wanted to be absolutely sure of one another before getting sexual, so we waited a couple of years before we did. Now, before, he was VERY sexual, always wanting to make out, touching, talking about it and whatnot. He was very excited for sex and we both really wanted it. Well, now we've had it, and he doesn't seem to want it AT ALL!

First off, he was grossed out by my vagina. He'd never seen one, and was almost sick looking at it. It took him a couple of weeks before he'd even consider it. Then the sensation was weird, and he said sex wasn't as stimulating as masturbation. He's really squeamish about the whole thing, says it's too slimy, smells bad, and refuses to give me oral (even though I happily go down on him). And sex on my period? Forget about it. He says he doesn't know if he'll ever be able to do that, but assured me that we'd still make out.

Second of all, he's extremely ticklish. He laughs constantly during foreplay and sex, really limiting what I can do with him. All my attempts to touch him anywhere but his chest are awkward and met with displeasure, as are certain movements by me (which are painful). I have no idea how to pleasure him since everything I do is either ticklish or painful.

And finally, he doesn't seem to want it! It's amazing for me because I love him so much and it's very powerful for me, but he seems so indifferent on it. He isn't as interested, doesn't get excited, I feel like I have to remind him that we can (it's never "the right time"), and isn't nearly as sexy as before! Sometimes I feel like I'm dragging it out of him! He's a little OCD, not full blown, just tendencies, does that have something to do with it? I dont know if this is normal since it seems ike no other guys are like this!

What on earth is going on???

I'm starting to suspect masterbation has something to do with altering the first time of first time lovers. If all his sexual experiences had been through you, and he never masterbated, then his body would have been able to be more accepting of sex and sexual acts with you. That is my theory. As far as I see, his brain thinks masterbation is sex since it was there first.

My only theory on fixing it is that he only has sexual acts through you until his body gets used to it.

Basically, my theory is that porn and masterbation interfere with the male body's ability to fully appreciate his mates body, even if it appears "repulsive". Without porn and masterbation + a well built emotional(friendship) based side of the relationship, it would enhance the sexual side, and lead to very romantic sex.

To see it in the way of those sexually promiscous lifestyle would be foolish as they probably had "awkwardness" with several "partners" before getting it "right", when in reality, going through the "awkward" phase with a single partner several times until you reach sexual perfection is far more emotionally rewarding and why first time lovers should stick together until they can master each others bodies instead of thinking they are "sexually" incompatible.

It's always heart-breaking to see these couples break up and not realize that the reason the sex with another person is better is because that random person has been practicing sex with many different partners over the years until they got it right and not because they are "sexually compatible".

So what I am saying is, stick together and be each other's failed attempts until you manage to master each others bodies. It will take time. If you could wait years to have sex, then you can surely practice having sex for years until you finally reach the emotional state you desire.

Also, for now, start off with hugs, embraces, and cuddles to build up on the emotional side and don't necessarily have to be sexual. Selflessly build up your friendship and appreciate him as much as possible. Think about the sex later. Over time, his shock will wear off and he will be more open to having sex with you, and he will also eventually begin to appreciate your body and become drawn to it sexually. It's a matter of kind, loving, patience.

I'm pretty sure for guys of his type, anger is probably the biggest turn off and can completely rip out any lust away. What's most attractive is kindness and appreciation and usually leaves seeds which grow to sexual desire mixed with emotional feelings later on.