One Night Stands - when single - the pluses and minuses involved?

[breathe123]

What is the Nike slogan? ~ Just do it. The ONS with a known or unknown, bought for or not man. There must be lots of good looking available men around you, yes? I think you can't because of still having feelings for your ex, you need to even do this so it forces you to move on & live a full life. The memory of your ex is holding you back. You don't have to feel ashamed or guilty, just be safe with whatever you choose to do.
((hugs))

[Wakeup]

That includes being safe with your own emotions and make sure you don't do repeat bedroom performance with the same man. That way you'll be less likely to think your vagina is linked directly to your heart and confuse lust for love.

Watch your count though because that double standard, unfortunately is still alive and kicking. You've seen the number of threads we've read from tooooo many men that lose respect for women who have a high count.

[woody]

Yes yes, that all may be W.U but I am hoping that one day for 'Dollhouse' that she will meet a man, you know, after she has a chance to get some stuff out of her system, time to heal from any past hurts, all that, that one day she will meet a man where it's safe to err, as you say, "link her vagina to her heart" because when those two are linked with LOVE, (an maybe just a pinch or LUST) *yum*. and it is with a good man worthy of this, well, good things happen. It is something I wish for all the fine ladies.... Because when a good woman is happy and satisfied, the World seems to turn a little better...

[lovebroken]

Have you had a ONS yet? Or waiting for another trip to make it more anon and less hassle free for you? I haven't slept with another yet either after my breakup but if there was someone I even felt remotely into here I would approach them for some intimate time together.

[Csca]

I have only ever had one night stand, and I don't think I'd pursue another. I think women seek them for a bit of comfort and all it left me feeling was an empty loneliness. On the plus side, it scratches an itch..

[Wakeup]

I have only ever had one night stand, and I don't think I'd pursue another. I think women seek them for a bit of comfort and all it left me feeling was an empty loneliness. On the plus side, it scratches an itch..

You're in a relationship that is leaving you the same way though...

That's because you settled to be in something casual (FWB) instead of waiting for a man that didn't need to "scratch an itch" while he waited to recover from his last relationship.

FWB/FB's/ONS... all usually equal the same feelings of empty loneliness (eventually). Or so it seems.

[Csca]

FWB/FB's/ONS... all usually equal the same feelings of empty loneliness (eventually). Or so it seems.

Think you hit the nail on the head there, learning this the hard way.

[dollhouse]

Thanks to each of you. I'm going to speedy post because when I logged in to read and click thanks the forum crashed my computer.

Didn't do a one night stand yet as asked above, but I have gone on a few dates, most were zero connections, I wasn't even interested in a " just bone em session " but I did have a few dates with one guy who I connected with and did exchange a kiss or two. But he is a athlete and I don't know if I want to date a guy who professionally does sports for his job, travels a lot, lots of girls all over but as my girlfriends said maybe to casually have sex with might be alright. I haven't decided as he is away at the moment anyways and will contact me when he returns.

I'll update again, if this thread is locked I will post my reply on the random thoughts thread, I guess. Happy Easter. x

[Wakeup]

Just by that follow up I can see that you are in for a world of hurt if you pursue any kind of casual sexual relationship with anyone.

If you were the type that could pull this off without falling/guilt/self-incrimination then you would have had sex with the sports guy by now and you'd not need to tell us about whether or not he's the "right" guy to "date."

If you're not thinking that the guy is a good prospect to "date" then wtf are you dating him?

Tread carefully, Doll.

[lovebroken]

Are you into the sporty guy you had a connection and obvious attraction to him also because you said you both kissed several times?

Do you not want a boyfriend, and only casual because of the ex and that it was somewhat recent events? What if the sports guy asked you to go exclusive, would you deny him? Don't push away any love, okay? I still think my suggestion of a professional is a good idea for you if you just want to feel something sexual and push the thoughts of the ex out and then you might be more open to a sports guy or any other guy. What do you think?

Hope you had a nice Easter too, dollhouse.

[Jffs24]

I liked breathe's advice of -- just do it, the more you think about it the more you try to talk yourself out of it -- nerves and fear start crippling you -- so does steppin out of the restrictions you placed on yourself.

[breathe123]

[MENTION=78654]dollhouse[/MENTION] ~ is the athlete guy hot? Did you not want to sleep with him for other reasons then you listed? Can't you have fun with him & not get too invested? Maybe he is dating a few others & would be o-k with a certain arrangement.

[dollhouse]

Thanks for the newest comments back to me... Wakeup, lovebroken, Jffs24 and breathe123.

[MENTION=52694]Wakeup[/MENTION] .. You are right, I am still hurting but I haven't jumped in right yet, but am contemplating it more and more. But I don't want attachments after or to either go head first into a new relationship while holding pain off the recent old one. I feel I can't catch a break with this. The sports guy hasn't even pushed for any sex, only arm around me, kissing, nothing more sexual and I don't want to be the aggressor. I wonder if he is having so much sex with others he doesn't want or need an extra sex partner and that is why, but he has to be attracted to me too because he is kissing me and called me when he got back like he said he would previously.

Thank you, I am treading very carefully even though I have at least 4 different girlfriends pushing me not move faster not slower.

[MENTION=77017]lovebroken[/MENTION] .. Yes, I like the time spent with him and I find him very attractive as well. I really do not want or could handle a real full on full time boyfriend partner right now, because I still haven't healed off my last relationship and do not want to bring that baggage to something new. Thanks, I did have a nice holiday with my family.

@ Jffs24 ..I am talking myself out of it because I was never the dominant sexual aggressor and it's hard to suddenly become that.

I had one more date with that same man but no sex, he isn't pushing for any sex... and I haven't had that talk with him yet ..

[MENTION=78034]breathe123[/MENTION], trying to figure out the best way to bring it up and not make us both feel awkward. I didn't sleep with him basically because it never got to that point, and I didn't want to push it because I was alright with how it was going, I guess that is the only answer I have for you. I do want the sex, but I don't want to beg for it either, if you understand how I mean that?

Thank you xx

[breathe123]

O-k ~ I understand what you are saying, dollhouse. Stepping out of how you are normally are with the opposite sex is complicated & difficult especially when having leftover relationship pains.
Do you wonder why he isn't pressuring you for the sex? Have you told him about your ex? Maybe he is being respectful.

[Jffs24]

Maybe becoming more dominant would be a good thing for you -- don't ask for what you want, take what you want for a change up.