Love Life

[IndiReloaded]

You know, people will talk about the Cycle of Poverty? Well, this is just as bad. It is a terrible cycle of dating, circumstance, breakup, dating, etc. It can lead to very deep depression, repression, thoughts of ending it all. I can't speak for women, because I'm not a woman...but as a man, I can say that I think there are a lot of us out there who are in this bad situation. Horniness is not the primary motivation anymore (like back in teen years)...its just wondering if there's any light at the end of the tunnel.

So, what IS the primary motivation, Cam?

IMO, and I mean this as solid help, you need to change the problem from "is she out there?" to "how do I find her?". You know very well how to get what you want professionally, financially, socially. Is the skill set & method for finding a reasonable companion so different? Isn't this just a different flavour of problem solving?

You MUST know at least one female over your years of experience who you admire & think is good 'relationship material'. Even a 'taken' one. Even if its your mother. My point is, knowing that even *one* woman you respect is out there means there must be many more. Apply yourself to the problem w/the same deliberation you do other problems.

Once you do that, then you'll start to make the changes necessary to make that happen. You're not lacking resources, you're just thinking wrong thoughts about the subject, that I agree with.

[CAM]

[QUOTE=IndiReloaded;314481]So, what IS the primary motivation, Cam? [QUOTE]

Ah, how about find the best friend in the world in a wonderful woman....? That sound like a motivation?

Horniness isn't the primary motivation because that can be had very easily and for very little. Even a deadbeat can get laid. Finding something more than that in a relationship is a bit harder to obtain.

We talk about all that on this website so much and given the sorry condition of so many social lives, it begins to sound trite, doesn't it? Perhaps it is. Perhaps it is.

[IndiReloaded]

Ah, how about find the best friend in the world in a wonderful woman....? That sound like a motivation?

Yes, absolutely. But this is more likely to come from someone you have a shared history with. Don't you find its hard to develop the 'best friends' mentality with new acquaintances at our age? I certainly do. Maybe you should look into reconnecting with old friends? Ppl from your undergrad or grad days that you shared a connection with? Or old family friends?

Its funny b/c I was just reading an article about the two 'types' of marriages out there. 'Best friend' marriages and 'Passionate'. The former are more about companionship, support & communication. Very little arguing, etc. The second is more about hot sex & lots of arguing. Marriages of the former sort are often described as 'boring' w/the problems that arise from that state; the latter usually burn out (divorce) unless they can transition to some aspects of the former. A balance, as always, is the ideal & the idea is to divi up a month into two week blocks dedicated to each of those two states, which are meant to accomplish different needs of the relationship. Interesting idea in any case.