Turn girl down because she's too pretty?

[Kromat]

Well that's the thing about this girl.. she's gorgeous yet acts pretty normal. She talks to fat unattractive guys in our class (no that's not me) and just seems like a cool down to earth girl.

Are you talking about someone that looks close to me?
I don't let pretty girls intimidate me, they're just people.
I'm no different than anyone else, it's just that I have to show others that i'm confident enough in myself that i can hold my own and give them a fun time regardless of my appearance.
It's sometimes nice to see that your appreciated and that no one is out of her league, and she has to get someone that isn't afraid to take risks and face challenges head on.
You might all think that I look good enough, but i never feel like it, and just try to live my life to show others how i truly am.

I'm pretty sure I would it just seems that the prettier the girl the more trouble.

That isn't the case all the time.
Everyone sees themselves differently to others and how they want to be treated.
They might get more attention, but how they deal with it that matters.

[lesa]

Ugh.., you got me really turned on right now..

I'm turned on when a guy tells me he is turned on.

I agree that it's a good thing when they feel intimidated at the beginning....It's a good way to weed out the people that will not make a great partner.

I would LOVE to date an artist. I tried sketching once upon a time but I lost any potential of getting great at it. I love to date people who play musical instruments and/or sing too. Hmmm, instant turn on. Men who are very successful in what they do and are only proud of my achievement and are not intimidated at all are they guys I look for. Also, strangely I do not want him to talk about me, me, me and what I do. I love to hear about his day and what he does. I don't really want to hear about me when he talks unless it involves....

Oh, and some people may only date you primarily because of what you do. I weed him out by telling him that I may change profession and then watch his reaction . It can get tricky sometimes.

[katya]

The FEAR that she's too pretty? What should one be afraid of exactly?



"Usually" but.., not "always"..

Absolutely gorgeous model types are.., believe it or not.., the most insecure women on the face of this earth..

Let me repeat that in case it didn't register properly.. Insanely hot women.., are the most insecure women you can hope to come by.., ever..

It doesn't make them bad people.. They just need A LOT of comforting.., reassurance and validation.. Some of them try and get it on their own.., some of them look for it passively through men they are interested in and love..

To an attractive woman.., she's on the top of the mountain.., and it's a long fall down! She has to compete on the level of other insanely gorgeous women.. 10s vs. 10s.. It's brutal.. It's enough to drive anyone insane.. Because of you go out and don't get nearly as much male attention.., you feel ugly and less attractive..

Yes.., it's a legitimate fear that "some" of these women would be self-absorbed and full of themselves.., but most definitely not "all".. In fact.., I'll go a step further and say not even "most"..

It's one of these irrational fears that men have.., that just because she's so good looking.., she must be self-absorbed and full of herself.. And she probably looks down on everyone else as inferior to her.., and that's probably how she's going to look at and treat me.., and I don't want to deal with that.., so fcuk her..

The best way to get over that.., is to pick out two women who you think are absolutely gorgeous.. And just get to know them.. That's it.. Not date.., not have sex.. They're off limits to you.. You're not allowed to do anything even if they call you upstairs and beg you or try and make you feel guilty as they tell you how horny they are and how you're such a bad person for making them suffer like this.. Just get to know them.. Just be friends.., and nothing more..

If you're wrong.., the worst that can happen is that you lose a crazy/psycho/shallow/manipulative/b*tch as a friend.., not really a big loss to you..

If you're right.., the best that can happen is that you dispel this idea you had in your mind up to this point now..



Insanely attractive women are the most sexually frustrated women you'll find.. The better looking they are.., the more men are after them.., the more guarded they feel.., the less sex they have..

(side note: there will inevitably be a girl somewhere who just read that and thought to herself.. "aha! If I have less sex.., it means I'm more attractive!")

Anyway.., If you can take the right amount of time that's needed to get over that belief you have about gorgeous women.., you'll be able to explore some very sweet girls out there..

It doesn't change the fact that they're insecure.., they really DO need a lot of comforting.., reassurance and validation.. I personally don't have the patience for that.., and don't have the tolerance for that kind of emotional neediness.. Maybe I will eventually.., but I know that I'm nowhere near that point yet.. But if you think you can handle it.., then keep the option open.., they're not bad people..

Why are they insecure if they are the best-looking ones and have all the guys after them?

[GrkScorp]

Why are they insecure if they are the best-looking ones and have all the guys after them?

It's not that counter-intuitive.. "competition"..

Who are they competing against? Other 10s..

Their self esteem comes from the male attention they get.., and how much more of it they get relative to other women and their immediate social circle..

Growing up.., she feels like this sexy g-ddess that guys can't seem to resist.. It's very flattering.., it's like she's floating in the clouds.., like she can have anything and anyone she wants..

That perception quickly gets shattered.. Eventually.., she's going to see guys paying more attention to women "other" than her.. And even worse.., those same men will "not" be paying attention to her!

She just transitioned from a blissful and comfortable reality.., to a brutal and rough reality.., seeking to find a way back into that blissful and comfortable reality..

She can:

1. Tell herself and try to convince herself of things that will make her feel better..
2. Compete with those women and get their male attention..

The first one sounds a lot like.. "ugh.., that skinny little b*tch.., she's just dressing slutty and she's such a whore anyway.. She's not better than me.., I'm way better.., guys are stupid"

She eventually realizes what she's doing.., and needs some actual validation and positive self esteem reinforcement.. So her natural instincts take over.., and she competes for male attention..

She's now faced with the very uncomfortable departure from her blissful and comfortable sanctuary.. She's no longer the object of everyone's desire.. She's confronted with the painful reality that there are other women (if not more) at least "equally" as attractive as her.. And she's confused on how to go about getting male attention..

Before.., she wouldn't have to do much.., it was flattering because she wasn't even trying.., but these gorgeous men would be interested in her.. Now that's not at all the case.. Some guys that approach her are good looking.., but other girls get more good looking guys! She might even want the guys that those other girls are getting attention from! And she's never really had to do anything to compete for male attention before! She doesn't know where to start!

So the first thing most women do is whore themselves out.., it's only natural.. It requires minimum mental effort and not too much creativity.. Wear a push-up bra to exaggerate what you're lacking.., high heals to give the illusion of longer and slimmer legs.., coordinate an outfit that shows off your ASSets.., plenty of shiny jewelry to catch people's eye.. and pray nothing rips.. She's showing X amount of skin? I'll show X+1 amount of skin.. It's the free market allowing for competition between women for male attention.., and they keep undercutting each other..

What happens when you're practically naked? What happens when you're competing with other women just as attractive who are also practically naked? You still haven't accomplished anything.. In economics.., they're both 10s.. The value they're advertising is physical.., and homogeneous (identical)..

While other less attractive women can find an edge over their competition with personality.., just by the nature of which men usually give 10s attention.., removes her ability to find that edge..

It pisses her off.. She's probably a great person.., but she feels that everyone just wants to get into her pants.., and there's no way to get a guy she wants or really monopolize male attention like she ones used to (and it makes her feel less attractive).. So she either loses hope.., or competes among less attractive women for a confidence boost..

She's very sexually frustrated.. She doesn't want to feel cheap or desperate or like a whore.. There's no shortage of guys who would want to date her.., but it doesn't mean that she sleeps with them.. She isn't sure which ones are just attracted to her because of her looks.. Most men that give her attention are.., so she's left with placing all men in that category..

Less attractive women don't really suffer from that problem.. They might be cute.., but they're not 10s.. They might think the same about all men.., but it's more form word of mouth and stereotypes than from personal experience.. These are not women who log on to facebook to find 60+ new friend requests a day.. The male attention they get form their looks alone as a percentage of the total male attention they get is significantly less than that of very attractive women.. Ego and the need for good self esteem might make less attractive women falsely complain about and tell themselves how men are just interested in them for sex.., but that's quite a funny statement coming from the inferior sexual good..

When a 10 does find a guy she likes.., she feels that the only hold she has over him is through sex.. Her life experiences up until this point have lead her to believe that this is mostly what got her male attention.., therefore.., it's pretty much what will keep him there.. Can you imagine how insecure this would make you when you are aware of all the other 10s out there? And there comes her dilemma..

If she is to compete for the sake of her ego and self esteem with other women.., she'll get more male attention.., but she'll also get a larger and richer pool of guys who just want to have sex with her.., her and anyone else who is equally or more attractive.. When she's in the mood for sex.., she might not be able to find an equally attractive guy or exactly the guy she wants.., but she can find someone she's not completely disgusted by to have sex with.. Even if she does find a guy she's very attracted to.., she will still have to compete among other 10s.., with sexual appeal as her selling point.. And if she doesn't get him.., it's a HUGE hit on her ego and self esteem.. That's why she doesn't try too hard.., so that if she doesn't get him.., she can just tell herself that she wasn't even really interested or trying to get him..

But as far as relationships.., rationally.., the guy can't do much better in terms of looks.. She's a 10.., that's maybe 4% of the population? Chances that he finds someone equally as attractive is slim.. But her lack of trust for men isn't irrational.., it's very very valid.. The overwhelming majority of the overwhelming amount of men that are interested in her.., are just interested in her because of sex.., her and those just as attractive as her.. So even when she finds a guy who really is interested in "her".., she finds it impossible to believe.. The less attractive the women.., the less realistic this belief is.., the easier it is for them to trust the intentions of men.. But the more attractive the women.., the more realistic this belief is (statistically).., and the harder it is for them to trust the intentions of men..

(side note: invariably.., some women who just read that last part will experience an ego-conflict and might tell themselves.. "aha! The harder I find it to trust men.., the more attractive I must be!" or "I trust him.., are you calling me ugly? I'm not ugly! I'm beautiful! Fcuk him! I don't trust him anymore!")

Anyway.., her dilemma is.., more pronounced than other women.. "I really like him.., and I don't want to lose him because he thinks I don't like him or that I'm not sexual or that I'm trying to use him and dump him in the friend-zone.., but at the same time.., I don't know if "he" really likes "me" for more than just the way I look.., and I don't want to emotionally invest and then get hurt.., and I'm not the kind of girl who just has casual sex.., what do I do?" (do you see how this dilemma is more pronounced for more attractive women? It's more realistic and valid for 10s to feel this way than it is for anyone less attractive)..

This is why 10s actually end up having fewer sexual partners than less attractive women..

Isn't that ironic and interesting?

Anyway.., both during a relationship and even while being single.., 10s are constantly competing to maintain their self esteem.., and it's a bigger blow to their ego and self esteem when a guy picks an other girl over her (because she no longer feels like a 10!).. During the relationship.., because of the majority of the men that have entered her life.., she is constantly doubtful about her partner's loyalty to her.., even more so than a less attractive woman..

(Side note: invariably.., some women who read that last part would have again thought.. "aha! If I don't trust him and question his loyalty to me like a crazy psycho.., that means I'm more attractive! Yay! I'm pretty!")

[Gribble]

I've come across girls who have their makeup just right, their hair cut perfect, their eyebrows artfully plucked. They wear all designer brand clothes and fancy shoes.

I don't mess with girls like that. I've come to realize all the glitz and glitter is there to distract from what lies beneath. A vacant head, a nasty mouth and more baggage than I care to deal with.

[HUNT3R]

I've come across girls who have their makeup just right, their hair cut perfect, their eyebrows artfully plucked. They wear all designer brand clothes and fancy shoes.

I don't mess with girls like that. I've come to realize all the glitz and glitter is there to distract from what lies beneath. A vacant head, a nasty mouth and more baggage than I care to deal with.

Very, very true. Back in my very naive days, I dated a girl like that. All that stuff on the outside is just to cover up the messed up inside.

[lesa]

Why are they insecure if they are the best-looking ones and have all the guys after them?

It's not that counter-intuitive.. "competition"..

Who are they competing against? Other 10s..

Yep. This is like the beautiful celebrities and who they date. They compete among each other....to the point of recycling partners .

It's no wonder why some of them have low self-esteem. They are no longer that special or unique to their partner (unless they have something else to offer besides what other celebrities can).

Same for the very gorgeous that have nothing else going for them. The men or women who date them have dated other very gorgeous people so they are no longer special or unique unless they can offer something else.

[lesa]

I've come across girls who have their makeup just right, their hair cut perfect, their eyebrows artfully plucked. They wear all designer brand clothes and fancy shoes.

I consider the very beautiful as a person that doesn't need makeup at all, can have their hair in disarray, their eyebrows in need of major contouring, and raggedly dressed but still look good in the face!

[katya]

It's not that counter-intuitive.. "competition"..

Who are they competing against? Other 10s..

Their self esteem comes from the male attention they get.., and how much more of it they get relative to other women and their immediate social circle..

Growing up.., she feels like this sexy g-ddess that guys can't seem to resist.. It's very flattering.., it's like she's floating in the clouds.., like she can have anything and anyone she wants..

That perception quickly gets shattered.. Eventually.., she's going to see guys paying more attention to women "other" than her.. And even worse.., those same men will "not" be paying attention to her!

She just transitioned from a blissful and comfortable reality.., to a brutal and rough reality.., seeking to find a way back into that blissful and comfortable reality..

She can:

1. Tell herself and try to convince herself of things that will make her feel better..
2. Compete with those women and get their male attention..

The first one sounds a lot like.. "ugh.., that skinny little b*tch.., she's just dressing slutty and she's such a whore anyway.. She's not better than me.., I'm way better.., guys are stupid"

She eventually realizes what she's doing.., and needs some actual validation and positive self esteem reinforcement.. So her natural instincts take over.., and she competes for male attention..

She's now faced with the very uncomfortable departure from her blissful and comfortable sanctuary.. She's no longer the object of everyone's desire.. She's confronted with the painful reality that there are other women (if not more) at least "equally" as attractive as her.. And she's confused on how to go about getting male attention..

Before.., she wouldn't have to do much.., it was flattering because she wasn't even trying.., but these gorgeous men would be interested in her.. Now that's not at all the case.. Some guys that approach her are good looking.., but other girls get more good looking guys! She might even want the guys that those other girls are getting attention from! And she's never really had to do anything to compete for male attention before! She doesn't know where to start!

So the first thing most women do is whore themselves out.., it's only natural.. It requires minimum mental effort and not too much creativity.. Wear a push-up bra to exaggerate what you're lacking.., high heals to give the illusion of longer and slimmer legs.., coordinate an outfit that shows off your ASSets.., plenty of shiny jewelry to catch people's eye.. and pray nothing rips.. She's showing X amount of skin? I'll show X+1 amount of skin.. It's the free market allowing for competition between women for male attention.., and they keep undercutting each other..

What happens when you're practically naked? What happens when you're competing with other women just as attractive who are also practically naked? You still haven't accomplished anything.. In economics.., they're both 10s.. The value they're advertising is physical.., and homogeneous (identical)..

While other less attractive women can find an edge over their competition with personality.., just by the nature of which men usually give 10s attention.., removes her ability to find that edge..

It pisses her off.. She's probably a great person.., but she feels that everyone just wants to get into her pants.., and there's no way to get a guy she wants or really monopolize male attention like she ones used to (and it makes her feel less attractive).. So she either loses hope.., or competes among less attractive women for a confidence boost..

She's very sexually frustrated.. She doesn't want to feel cheap or desperate or like a whore.. There's no shortage of guys who would want to date her.., but it doesn't mean that she sleeps with them.. She isn't sure which ones are just attracted to her because of her looks.. Most men that give her attention are.., so she's left with placing all men in that category..

Less attractive women don't really suffer from that problem.. They might be cute.., but they're not 10s.. They might think the same about all men.., but it's more form word of mouth and stereotypes than from personal experience.. These are not women who log on to facebook to find 60+ new friend requests a day.. The male attention they get form their looks alone as a percentage of the total male attention they get is significantly less than that of very attractive women.. Ego and the need for good self esteem might make less attractive women falsely complain about and tell themselves how men are just interested in them for sex.., but that's quite a funny statement coming from the inferior sexual good..

When a 10 does find a guy she likes.., she feels that the only hold she has over him is through sex.. Her life experiences up until this point have lead her to believe that this is mostly what got her male attention.., therefore.., it's pretty much what will keep him there.. Can you imagine how insecure this would make you when you are aware of all the other 10s out there? And there comes her dilemma..

If she is to compete for the sake of her ego and self esteem with other women.., she'll get more male attention.., but she'll also get a larger and richer pool of guys who just want to have sex with her.., her and anyone else who is equally or more attractive.. When she's in the mood for sex.., she might not be able to find an equally attractive guy or exactly the guy she wants.., but she can find someone she's not completely disgusted by to have sex with.. Even if she does find a guy she's very attracted to.., she will still have to compete among other 10s.., with sexual appeal as her selling point.. And if she doesn't get him.., it's a HUGE hit on her ego and self esteem.. That's why she doesn't try too hard.., so that if she doesn't get him.., she can just tell herself that she wasn't even really interested or trying to get him..

But as far as relationships.., rationally.., the guy can't do much better in terms of looks.. She's a 10.., that's maybe 4% of the population? Chances that he finds someone equally as attractive is slim.. But her lack of trust for men isn't irrational.., it's very very valid.. The overwhelming majority of the overwhelming amount of men that are interested in her.., are just interested in her because of sex.., her and those just as attractive as her.. So even when she finds a guy who really is interested in "her".., she finds it impossible to believe.. The less attractive the women.., the less realistic this belief is.., the easier it is for them to trust the intentions of men.. But the more attractive the women.., the more realistic this belief is (statistically).., and the harder it is for them to trust the intentions of men..

(side note: invariably.., some women who just read that last part will experience an ego-conflict and might tell themselves.. "aha! The harder I find it to trust men.., the more attractive I must be!" or "I trust him.., are you calling me ugly? I'm not ugly! I'm beautiful! Fcuk him! I don't trust him anymore!")

Anyway.., her dilemma is.., more pronounced than other women.. "I really like him.., and I don't want to lose him because he thinks I don't like him or that I'm not sexual or that I'm trying to use him and dump him in the friend-zone.., but at the same time.., I don't know if "he" really likes "me" for more than just the way I look.., and I don't want to emotionally invest and then get hurt.., and I'm not the kind of girl who just has casual sex.., what do I do?" (do you see how this dilemma is more pronounced for more attractive women? It's more realistic and valid for 10s to feel this way than it is for anyone less attractive)..

This is why 10s actually end up having fewer sexual partners than less attractive women..

Isn't that ironic and interesting?

Anyway.., both during a relationship and even while being single.., 10s are constantly competing to maintain their self esteem.., and it's a bigger blow to their ego and self esteem when a guy picks an other girl over her (because she no longer feels like a 10!).. During the relationship.., because of the majority of the men that have entered her life.., she is constantly doubtful about her partner's loyalty to her.., even more so than a less attractive woman..

(Side note: invariably.., some women who read that last part would have again thought.. "aha! If I don't trust him and question his loyalty to me like a crazy psycho.., that means I'm more attractive! Yay! I'm pretty!")

Yeah, that's what I thought. Thank you for the explanation.

[alter_ego]

I consider the very beautiful as a person that doesn't need makeup at all, can have their hair in disarray, their eyebrows in need of major contouring, and raggedly dressed but still look good in the face!

Why do every one here assume that symmetry is what makes someone beautiful? Perfect make-up, perfect hair etc.

One can't put too much focus on the details, you have to take a few steps back and look at the "big picture".

Beauty is most often defined by small irregularities, impefections if you like.

Do any one agree?

[starbuck]

Why do every one here assume that symmetry is what makes someone beautiful? Perfect make-up, perfect hair etc.

One can't put too much focus on the details, you have to take a few steps back and look at the "big picture".

Beauty is most often defined by small irregularities, impefections if you like.

Do any one agree?

I agree. I think imperfections in looks are much more interesting.

[shh!]

Absolute perfection is too homogenous for my taste.

[CAM]

Ever not dated a woman because she's too beautiful? No, always acted on the impulse. I'm a quirky smarty-pants, so I can get away with it in the short term but it never lasts!

I remember taking this one very hot African-American woman (I'm white, btw) with the beaded hairdo to a total redneck bar--we'd agreed it would be blast to watch the reaction. It was totally awesome--the redneck women were very pissed off, but their men were all giving me the thumbs up as if to say, "You go, dude!" She and I dated for awhile and I'm sure that she was (looks-wise) out of my league, but I was out of her league in other ways, so we were even, so to speak.

[Mish]

I like pretty girls who don't even know they are pretty

[miSSleepy]

Why do every one here assume that symmetry is what makes someone beautiful? Perfect make-up, perfect hair etc.

One can't put too much focus on the details, you have to take a few steps back and look at the "big picture".

Beauty is most often defined by small irregularities, impefections if you like.

Do any one agree?

yeah...
tests have been done. Symmetrical and proportioned faces are nice...and plain. It's the 'exaggerations' of certain characteristics that make people look attractive.