So... am I a jerk?

[Namari]

I mean Clingy needy insecure ...etc

Are you saying that it isn't possible for someone to love a person who is clingy, needy, or insecure? I do love him, and these are his more irritating characteristics. I'm not going to lie to myself and pretend he is someone else.

But I am going to break up with him, soon. I just am unsure of the how.

[Cain]

Clearskies seems to think that if you love someone, they should have NO negative characteristics. You should think everything about them is perfect. I'm sorry, CS, but in your dream world that might happen but it doesn't happen here in reality.

[bluesummer]

Very simple....you're incompatible, no matter how nice he is. Tell him that is how you feel, and that you are not prepared for marriage and children. He will be hurt, but he's a big boy and will get over it.

[someonelse]

Chances are he sees you guys are incompatible and if doesn't now will soon. You both deserve to be w/people that would be perfect for you.

[clearskies]

Clearskies seems to think that if you love someone, they should have NO negative characteristics. You should think everything about them is perfect. I'm sorry, CS, but in your dream world that might happen but it doesn't happen here in reality.

That is true... may be i am looking for an angel..

[clearskies]

He will be hurt, but he's a big boy and will get over it.

Anyone who got deserted will definitely be hurt.. that agrees with what I said earlier on. It depends on her approach to this matter.

[P1kaboo]

Break up with him. You can't stay with him because u feel bad for him? Plus you know this will end sooner or later. You should break it off and maybe after a while try friendship(if you really want to help him get rid of his insecurities)

[thefallenheart]

in the end of you life in the time of the cold empty shell that you that you will become i hope you look back at this time and weep bitter tears for the happieness that you threw away.

you do not want to think of children and weddings, NOW AT THIS MOMENT, but in the future you may do. maybe he is not living in the present, some flipent existance with no thought of concequence. maybe he is not so much slow as introspective and thinks bigger slower thoughts than you do.

you say he trys to please everyone all the time. and then you say he is a plank. these two things are mutuely exclusive because to try to please everyone all the time you have to think every waking second that God sends. maybe you see this as inherently dumb but then maybe you also are more selfish and thus have a different scale by which intelegence is measured.

and then you meet an old fling. well whupty doo. suddenly mister hunk turns up and suddenly mister reliable <---(a rare and much needed charecteristic in this matirialistic society) is suddenly not good enough.

in a way i am happy for him. he is looseing you, who lacks fidelity, and in the long run you get punnished.

i just hope that Mr Reliable finds some one better than you. but by the sound of it it's an odds on chance.

PS. if he wants to stay friends then thats all right and well. but if he shows no real inclination to go after you then do not try to go after him because that would just be sadistic.

PPS. yes you are a Jerk.

[IndiReloaded]

Everyone has standards. Personally, I wouldn't consider an LTR with someone I considered my intellectual inferior. Call me a snob, but its a dealbreaker for me. However, I also know that there are many guys who would find my bookishness worse than boring.

So I agree w/Blue. You do come across like you're doing him some kind of favour dating him. Get over yourself. Its just a question of compatibility.

[Illusional]

why does this make you a jerk?? or a jerkette in your case??

honestly if you aren't going anywhere with your dumb bf then cut it off and go for mr big dick. why waste everyone's time, just cut to the chase.

raverboy

[Charlie Boy II]

could everyone please stop engaging with clearskies? It's like hitting jelly with a hammer, you'll just scatter more of her stupidity across the boards.

[clearskies]

in the end of you life in the time of the cold empty shell that you that you will become i hope you look back at this time and weep bitter tears for the happieness that you threw away.

you do not want to think of children and weddings, NOW AT THIS MOMENT, but in the future you may do. maybe he is not living in the present, some flipent existance with no thought of concequence. maybe he is not so much slow as introspective and thinks bigger slower thoughts than you do.

you say he trys to please everyone all the time. and then you say he is a plank. these two things are mutuely exclusive because to try to please everyone all the time you have to think every waking second that God sends. maybe you see this as inherently dumb but then maybe you also are more selfish and thus have a different scale by which intelegence is measured.

and then you meet an old fling. well whupty doo. suddenly mister hunk turns up and suddenly mister reliable <---(a rare and much needed charecteristic in this matirialistic society) is suddenly not good enough.

in a way i am happy for him. he is looseing you, who lacks fidelity, and in the long run you get punnished.

i just hope that Mr Reliable finds some one better than you. but by the sound of it it's an odds on chance.

PS. if he wants to stay friends then thats all right and well. but if he shows no real inclination to go after you then do not try to go after him because that would just be sadistic.

PPS. yes you are a Jerk.

I agree on most of what you said. But i dont want go far like talking about infidelity and things like that because she is ready to confront him with what she feels. The only thing that might be on her side is that she is only 23 so she still has many years to decide what she wants. At the end of the day, it is her life and she has to decide what makes her feel better without giving much hurt to others.

[IndiReloaded]

could everyone please stop engaging with clearskies? It's like hitting jelly with a hammer, you'll just scatter more of her stupidity across the boards.

Its not her, CB, its how you are reacting to her.

We have lots of semi-psychos on this board. Imagine this place like Free Pass Day at the loonie bin, she even could be for all we know.

[Charlie Boy II]

It's not the loonies I mind, they're great. Its the morons. Those clinging to ideals they're ripped from Disney's Aladdin and refuse - with an obstinance peculiar to imbeciles - to let go of them.

[IndiReloaded]

Noone can be worse than OneMoron was...