post breakup - how to get them back?

[misombra]

hey cy weren't you supposed to tell us all your secrets 20 posts ago?

[shh!]

(ears perking up) Secrets? What secrets? Do tell, oh pleeeeaasse!

[Mish]

Hi toonsy

Have I done this before? Yes. How did it work for me? Good. Was i seeing other people at the time? Yes.

It was like this. When i was dumped it really hurt me and i wanted to do everything i can to get back with the person i lost, but then i thought to myself, hang out a minute. If she dumped me now with so little reason for doing so does that mean that if we get back together she will dump me again? That thought alone couldnt escape my mind (And i think was a sole reason for me getting over that person), so i decided to find someone else. Someone who will like me, keep me and accept me for who i am. If she would decide to come back to me before i found someone else i'd give it another go, but if not then i find someone i deserve to be with.

I have never taken back the ex who dumped me. I still stay friends with them and talk about fun things, but the minute conversation goes into the past or something personal is when i make a quick escape. I could probably find a way of getting back with them if I really really wanted too, but I don't want to relive all that. Things didn't work out for a reason and i'd rather keep it that way...

Respect...

[updraft]

Hey people: if she feels they can still work out together and he is giving her signals to that effect then it may work out... but...if he has stated the arguing has to stop (which i agree with because no good relationship can ever survive constant arguing) then you and he have to go to counselling if you want him to return..

Be the classy one Toonsy and suggest you do this.

-Good luck

[equivo]

I wouldn't advise asking him to go with you to counselling to repair your relationship if he is currently seeing someone else. That would be very disrespectful. It's not really up to you to do anything to get him back while he's with someone else. He should change his own mind about who he sees.. if you change it for him I see it as manipulation.

I'd take Cybog's advice. A relationship is never the same even if you do manage to revive it, and it's very likely you'll break up again. One break up per person is enough isn't it?

[Tone]

At first I thought you were very young, well at least he was, because arguements is just one part of the total package you get in relationships... I was going to tell you that he is just young and needs to experience that for himself - that no matter WHO he ends up with he's going to argue with after the initial nicey nice phase. But now I assume you are both older than me (23) since you mention both you have been married before so I'm not sure what to tell you - he should know that relationships are all about compromise. Movies are only 2 hours long - they show the romantic and lovey dovey way the 2 people get together but they don't show them 5 years later.

Most the time too when couples fight it is about something really stupid and small. Just remember, this isn't the movies... the truth is if you did get together it's not gonna be like "Reunited" by Peaches and Herb. It's rough, it hurts, it's not fair, but it's life.

[shh!]

Just remember, this isn't the movies... the truth is if you did get together it's not gonna be like "Reunited" by Peaches and Herb. It's rough, it hurts, it's not fair, but it's life.

Aren't you kind of young to know about Peaches and Herb?

[Tone]

I love that song!

[artyemi]

true, true.. like i keep sitting around hoping for something different, when the same things are always being repeated.

oh well...

i like what you said in another thread.. pick up the shambles of your pride...

toonsy.. already the friendship isn't going to work if you want it only for the chance of getting back together.

[Lloyd95]

For what it's worth, I agree with Cybog, he's dead on.