How not to hurt her too much

[Charlie Boy II]

Don't tell her you're breaking up with her because she's infertile. Just tell her something else. People aren't usually truthful as to the reasons behind a breakup anyway.

[vashti]

I don't really understand why you aren't willing to consider using your sperm with her egg (or someone else's) in someone else's womb.

Is this just a convenient excuse to unload her?

[dewilliams2]

^^^^thats what it seems like to me.

[lhn]

I hope the poor woman finds this forum so we can try to help her through what will be the worst time of her life.

[DonkeyKong]

What if the situation were reversed and YOU had something wrong that meant you could never impregnate a woman? I doubt somebody would break off a three year relationship with you for that. You want to know why nobody on here seems to care about your feelings, it's because you're being a dick. Like everybody says, there's no way to do it gently if you are going to dump her. She's going to think you're a dick no matter how softly you break it to her.

[to-cinderella]

puh! those stories like you teach women really never trus a men again! I agree with all of the above, there is no way to not hurt her...

remember, she wanted a child with you, which ment how much she loves you!

and you gonna replace her like a broken mashine, which is not operating some specific function! too bad she is human...

you say she will be able to meet a guy who meets her needs... just imagine how difficult its going to be for her to trust again and open for those right guys!

but, i would advice you to really break up, not because she cant give you a child, but from such a simple reason, that YOU DONT LOVE her enough to take this fact, that you cant have you own children...

[lhn]

I can absolutely say I am soooooooooo not like the OP.
Just can't believe what I read and was kinda hoping it was a troll.
Am I being too judgemental? Am I fck!!

I would never ever leave someone for this reason. As a loving couple, you should stick with each other through thick and thin.

Go take a hike...

[oneandonly]

Be honest with yourself. You don't love her enough. That would be a good reason for me to give up on you if I were your girlfriend so just say that to her. She will get over it in time. The sooner the better.

Saying cos of her 'infertility' is unkind and cannot be 100% of all reasons. If you really love her, nothing can stop you persuing alternative ways of having a baby together. There are many couples who do that. Why can't you? You don't simply love her enough no matter how much you claim to.

[smithy]

So much hostility for so little reason. "to-cinderella" You are right I don't love her enough to look past the fact that I can't have my OWN children with her. I don't think I could ever love someone enough to forgive something so big like this. Even if I start being an asshole to her she will know that I dumped her because she can't have children. For crying out loud she is a lawyer she isn't stupid she can connect the dots together. "DonkeyKong" If the situation was reversed on me I thought about that as well and if that was the case I would have had the decency to spear my partner the trouble and jumped from on top of a cliff or just walk away. I know myself even if somehow I convinced myself to stay in the future when we get in an argument I would bring this up with blood in my eyes and I DON"T want to do that. I am not the type of person who likes to talk too much I much rather keep my troubles to myself I don't think I can ever explain to her the disappointment and despair that I feel. If she must cry over something let it be the pure truth I know this is not ideal but as the saying goes "so we go to our bloody business" this Sunday I will tell her it's all over.

[dewilliams2]

You can't forgive her?...like its her fault and it must be forgiven?...like she wanted this in her life and did it to you? And you wondered why I called you an immature selfish asshole?...your the most self centered person I think I have ever heard.

[girl68]

Whatever good on him for leaving her. She *should* have a guy who won't leave her for a reason like this. I mean this woman just found out she can't do the one thing that women should be able to do. She is feeling like she isn't even a woman and the love of her life walks out on her. Poor gal.

OP, if this ever comes back on you and you find out your strong swimmers are actually big blanks. Imagine the feeling of utter failure you will have and the perfect gal dumps your ass. Yeah you say it now you're all cool and strong and shit. But you'lll break like a weak twig.

Thank god you're leaving her.

[Petit Papillon]

You ass, you said last time that you're going to call it off this sunday. Sunday is finished and you say again 'this sunday'. I think you're just some troll.

[Chupacabras]

The OP wants his child to be the genetic offspring of him and his significant other, what's with the attacks? I'm sure quite a few of you would be banging the "leave her" drum if he had a problem with his girlfriends abominable credit rating. The OP's reasoning, while perhaps a bit cruel, is perfectly reasonable.

Sometimes the sisterhood on here gets out of hand.

OP, do as Charlie Boy suggested, after three years it's really going to hurt; don't add insult to injury if you can help it.

[oneandonly]

The OP wants his child to be the genetic offspring of him and his significant other, what's with the attacks? I'm sure quite a few of you would be banging the "leave her" drum if he had a problem with his girlfriends abominable credit rating. The OP's reasoning, while perhaps a bit cruel, is perfectly reasonable.

Sometimes the sisterhood on here gets out of hand.

OP, do as Charlie Boy suggested, after three years it's really going to hurt; don't add insult to injury if you can help it.

But that's totally different. Abominal credit rating doesn't just happen. The person who is responsible for it brought it to herself/himself.

OP's girlfriend is not responsible for not being able to conceive. When things like this happen, a couple who love each other do pursue an alternative way. To me, it's an excuse to get out. So be honest and just do it!

[Chupacabras]

It is when you're looking strictly at cost/benefit. He hasn't signed the contract yet; if this "negative" is not one he's willing to tie himself to, it isn't wrong for him to not do it, just like any other baggage.