Should I contact her or not?

[nfgfan]

Sorry to keep bringing this topic back up but her birthday is coming up soon, and i've been thinking about what everyone has been saying, and alot of people have mentioned that, since i've already given her the letter with all my feelings the ball is in her court and i shouldnt do anything else, but even though i mentioned that i told her my feelings in the letter, i also think its important that i state that in the end of the letter, i said thankyou for reading this letter, and knowing that you know how i feel will start helping me heal and recover from the brake up and get over you(or something along these lines) . I'm not sure if this is of any significance of whether i should still considering texting her on her b-day or not but i just want to be sure that this isnt maybe the reason that she is hestitant towards contacting me, i just want to be sure because after her bday passes i doubt i will ever contact her again, thanks for reading my post

[blue]

ugh i asked myself the same question when kennys b-day came and went. I sent him a text message saying happy b-day & then i called him and i left him a message wishing him a happy birthday and all. We have not talked at all since the last time we spoke and you knwo what i dont think that we ever will again...but i looked at this differently because we have known eachother for so long and for so long we didint know where one or the other was and many b-days passed by that i didnt get to say happy b-day so screw it whats the harm in it nothing? Life is too short.

[nfgfan]

so you're saying i should text her?, and do you think the fact that i eneded the letter with all of my feelings for her with saying, that this letter will help me being healing from the breakup maybe the reason she has been hestinant to contact me, or is that prob of no relevance

[blue]

Yeah text her just tell her happy bday nuttin wrong w/that. Do you want her to contact you? Is it important to you that she does. What do you really want? And was the reason behind your letter really closure or reaction? If you feel that it was for closure and that you can close on this chapter in your life then great you dont have to be the best of friends, you dont have to wish happy b-days if you dont wnat to, but you also can if you do wnat to.

[nfgfan]

The letter was suppose to be for closure/reaction, but frankly it helped at first(for closure) but it hasnt really in the long run. She just ended our relationship while things were on such a high note and left me wondering, and i did write in the letter in order to help me start healing(and a little for possible reaction), but it hasn;t really, i still havent received full closure. I did tell her that i would never bother or contact her again after giving her the letter, but i feel she may have not reacted to the letter b/c i stated that after she read the letter i would reach closure and start healing...basically this is one big mess and her b-day is basically "judgment day" as if i dont contact her then i wont ever contact her again(having no reason)...so my purpose of the b-day text is more so for a reaction rather then just say happy b-day to say, its basically a reason to contact her...which is why im saying that if i dont text her during her bday i prob never will(having no real reason to)...ps not sure if you read the all the posts from this thread but she is w/another guyright now(this might be important if you didnt read that from earlier posts)

[stc79]

Another vote for not texting her. I think not getting a response from the letter and the fact that she's with another guy should be enough reason to call this one over with and keep it in the past. Besides, what if you don't get a reaction or you get a bad reaction. That's not good for you and your healing and that's all you should be worried about. Good luck.

[nfgfan]

as far as her seeing another guy, the reason(or part of) we broke up is b/c she found him attractive and began to question her feelings for me,so i guess he is a revound or something ...but anyway to my orginial question... i've been thinking about what everyone has been saying, and alot of people have mentioned that, since i've already given her the letter with all my feelings the ball is in her court and i shouldnt do anything else, but even though i mentioned that i told her my feelings in the letter, i also think its important that i state that in the end of the letter, i said thankyou for reading this letter, and knowing that you know how i feel will start helping me heal and recover from the brake up and get over you(or something along these lines) . I'm not sure if this is of any significance of whether i should still considering texting her on her b-day or not but i just want to be sure that this isnt maybe the reason that she is hestitant towards contacting me, i just want to be sure because after her bday passes i doubt i will ever contact her again, thanks for reading my post...and despite me thinking the her reading the letter i still have not felt closure

[nfgfan]

Well, to update the situation, i went ahead and texted her happy bday on friday, she later responded by saying thankyou, i then texted her back asking her if she wanted to meet up sometime and talk, as friends, unlike the last time i asked her to meet me and talk(last time she said it prob wasn't a good idea)she said "yea, why not." Well i waited on the weekend no responses, i texted her on monday asking her what she was doing, and she said she was at breakfast with a friend (prob the guy she is currently with), i texted her back telling her to just let me know when she wants to meet up...man i just dont know, she says she cool with meeting up but doesnt text me back, maybe im just being impatient, i just dont know...(btw the point of the meeting is i want tell her in person how i feel(kind of like what i said in the letter) and just ask her why we broke up, b/c i never got closure, and as far as getting back with her i want closure but on the other half if we could get back together i still prob would(just an fyi)

[nfgfan]

well last update...i hope, i contacted her again, and again she said im going to lunch w/a friend(i texted about the same time as last time around lunch time)...i replied w/kind of a smart ass comment, saying if you have a chance to pencil me into your schedule let me know, lol...i didnt expect a response but then twenty min later she responded saying that was rude... i replied saying that if you cant take one hur of your time to meet up, i see how much my friendship means to you...she replied, dont give me that your the one that said you did want to be friends
I didnt reply to that and prob wont, or contact her again, seeing that she didnt want to take the time to see me shows me what kind of person she is, but i do have a feeling she still may care a little b/c after my smart ass comment i figured she wouldnt bother responding but she did, and she prob expected me to appoligize and i usually would, i was going to but decided not to b/c frankly ive just been to nice to this girl...
i dont know if i did was right or if i was right in what i said, but i guess shes not the person i thought she was or who knows, im just confused, sorry for the long post but im done as far as ever contacting her, so who know what the future will hold

[turbomx3]

Runtime error pretty much said it if you truly love her don't be a deceitful friend as your better than that and you may not like yourself (trust me i'm going through a similar choice now) and plus you may end up in a situation where she may invite you out and her new guy turns up but you would of given the impression that your cool when your not. If she is going to come back she will as an ex once said to me if you have a bird and let it go and it flys away it was never yours but if it comes back it will be yours forever.

The question you need to ask is do you truly want her as a friend or do you want her back and if you want her back things may not be the same! either way goodluck and remember with life is like a rollercoaster you have your up's and downs your twists and your turns.

At the moment you feel so strongly but she may not be the one for you!

She has the choice to end the relationship but it is your choice whether you truly want to be friends (as in only friends).

[al007]

i've been reading your story about you & your girl. thats a real pain in the ass. I've been broken up with my girl of 4 years for about a year now, we're still cool w/ea other, well talk every other day, we see each other a lot but shes been seeing some other dude for about 5-6 months now. she tells me all of the time that she cant live w'out me, she loves me, etc. so why is she seeing him, i have now clue. what i do know is that i still want her back. So are you gonna stop total communication w/her? or whats the plan? you think i should stop all comm. w/ my ex?

[nfgfan]

i've been reading your story about you & your girl. thats a real pain in the ass. I've been broken up with my girl of 4 years for about a year now, we're still cool w/ea other, well talk every other day, we see each other a lot but shes been seeing some other dude for about 5-6 months now. she tells me all of the time that she cant live w'out me, she loves me, etc. so why is she seeing him, i have now clue. what i do know is that i still want her back. So are you gonna stop total communication w/her? or whats the plan? you think i should stop all comm. w/ my ex?

I dont know if im one to give advice, but we first broke up i didn't speak to her for a month, then i contacted and aksed her to meet up and talk, she said it wasnt a good idea, so i just gave her a letter of how i felt, one month later her bday came around so i texted her happy bday, she responded say thanks, and then i asked her if she wanted to meet up, she responded saying sure y not, after a week of not hearing from her i texted her saying i see how much my frinedship means to you if you cant take an hour of your time to meet up, she responded saying that dont give me that ur the one that said you didnt want to be friends, so i left at that, then a week or two later we where both went back to our high shcool to watch some sports, and i guess she happened to be there and new i was there and she contacted me asking if it was ok for her to say hi, i responded stating do what you wish, and shortly left not even really wanting to say hi(i later found out she was there w/another new bf), i dunno what all this means but im just giving a little recap of what has happened recently, but back to you sorry...i know that if i still talked to her constantly there would be no way that my feelings would go away for her, my friend went trhrought a very similar case to yours, and eventually he just stopped talking to his ex because everytime they talked his hurt would come back,and i think its worked for now...and i know that i wouldn;t be cool with being friends with my ex because it would hurt to much to know she was someone else, so im not even gona try that, after thinking about...so i guess if i was you, i would just stop talking to her(if you feel that you can do that)b/c i feel thats prob the only way to get over her(but then again what do i know, im still not over my ex, but it is getting better)