What do I need to like to be normal?

[Love'sReject]

Wait, so I never did get an answer: Do I need to like..geez, who's "hot" today? Jay-Z, or Lil' This or Lil' That...Is it a requirement to like MUSE and Nickelback?

[basilandthyme]

No, of course you don't have to like all music. Duh.

All you need is to accept that other people like different things to you and treat their opinions respectfully. You don't even have to pretend to like their music - if they tell you they like Nickelback, all you have to say is "oh, OK. I really like old school music".

But as soon as you start telling them that your music is better and their music is "douchey, crap, gay, faggoty shit", they'll realise that you're dickhead and move on.

[basilandthyme]

How do you not know this stuff already? Or do you know it and just not care enough about the feelings of others to put it into action?

[Love'sReject]

It's not that I don't know it but it is complicated: all kids desire sycophants. They don't surround themselves with those who disagree with them in taste. So, in order to fit in, I would have to be a culture junkie; I have to like everything they like and think like them. So I need to know how to do that.

[bearz]

I have to like everything they like and think like them. So I need to know how to do that.

No you don't.

[Love'sReject]

Look at South Park; the kids are a functioning unit of friends because they coalesce so well. They all like the same things, except Cartman's an asshole and their friendship with him is precarious.

[bearz]

You had to bring up South Park didn't you!

You better not be using that to justify real-life behavior.

[basilandthyme]

It's not that I don't know it but it is complicated: all kids desire sycophants. They don't surround themselves with those who disagree with them in taste. So, in order to fit in, I would have to be a culture junkie; I have to like everything they like and think like them. So I need to know how to do that.

Rubbish.

My daughter's friends all work together because they have diverse tastes but they respect each other's opinions. When her friends say "what are you listening to on your iPod?" she lets them listen. They don't know indie music so they've never heard of what she's listening to and they don't particularly like it...but they aren't rude about it. Likewise, my daughter isn't rude when they listen to mainstream pop.

Music is just one of their differences. They are a very diverse group, with their one similarity being acceptance of diversity.

People who are rude about them having individual tastes aren't welcomed into the group.

[basilandthyme]

It's not that I don't know it but it is complicated: all kids desire sycophants. They don't surround themselves with those who disagree with them in taste. So, in order to fit in, I would have to be a culture junkie; I have to like everything they like and think like them. So I need to know how to do that.

I wanted to add:

The truth is that you don't know it. My whole post #17 was about tolerance and acceptance of diversity. But what you got out of it was that you have to be like everyone else. This is the exact opposite of what I'm advising.

To be more clear, I don't know how you got to be the age you are and haven't figured out how to embrace people's differences. It's why I thought you had a social skill disorder.

[Love'sReject]

Good news is I have an appointment with a psychologist on Friday..

[basilandthyme]

Good news is I have an appointment with a psychologist on Friday..

Seriously?? Well done. I think it's a really smart move.

[Love'sReject]

Thanks. School psychologist so I am guessing it is either free or inexpensive, compared to a psychologist who was also a popular radio personality who's sessions cost hundreds for 1 hr although that was pretty cool..

[IndiReloaded]

You are fine, LR. Nothing wrong with you except some confidence issue. Kudos if you are really an iconoclast. Beware self-labels, tho, they are crazy-making. Check your PM, Sweet.

[Love'sReject]

Good point. I'll see if anything changes with the meditation and yoga (cool experience) and possibly having regular visits with a psychologist.

[HeartIsAching]

Do you not realise this is a spectrum disorder? Hence the name ASD (autism spectrum disorder) All have one or two traits of autism.....some people have a few more traits...some people have a quite a number of traits and others have enough traits to get a diagnosis. When one has enough traits to get a diagnosis, it can be from mild Aspergers to severe Autism. And then there's things such as PDD-NOS where one doesn't have all the traits required to get an ASD dx, but have something clearly wrong.

Relating to men (and boys when I was at school) was one of the things I could do relatively easily because men say what they mean. I can understand and relate to men. And men seem to like girls who say what they mean and don't bother with games. Which meant that they were OK with me.

Women, on the other hand took me a long time to learn to relate to. Many women have all these subtle things going on which I still don't understand. I still can't figure out how to get involved in the groups of school mums who go the cafes after dropping the kids at school....but that's OK because I'd prefer to come home anyway....small talk is very tiring.

I have problems with being too literal and if someone has a straight face when telling a joke, I will miss it. My family laughs each time I misinterpret what someone says due to me being literal. I get so passionate about interests that I can block out all around me and the place will start to fall apart. My husband sometimes needs to remind me that I've talked enough on one subject and need to talk about something else now. I'm a visual learner, so if you try and explain something to me in words, all I hear is bla bla bla

If you want to argue against my thoughts further, please first tell me what your experience with ASD is. eg; How many different people do you know who have it? (the more people you know who have it, the more you will appreciate the diversity of an ASD) What studies or books have you read on the subject of ASD? Because if you're totally clueless but still wanting to argue, I won't waste my time responding.

My wife says she didn't get the "Girl Rule Book", and doesn't understand them at all. Understands me just fine. I'm ok with that.