When does it become too many??

**DonkeyKong** · 12-03-10, 06:52 AM

I can tell you very honestly that my first time was anything BUT magical...but I look back on it and laugh now

**OneQuestion** · 12-03-10, 07:08 AM

But you do LOOK BACK on it...

**girl68** · 12-03-10, 07:11 AM

So? You look back on EVERYTHING. We look back as we move forward. You look back and then jump right back into the past and drive yourself mad. I think it's more fun to be us... looking back as we move forward in life.

**OneQuestion** · 12-03-10, 08:05 AM

Originally Posted by girl68

So? You look back on EVERYTHING. We look back as we move forward. You look back and then jump right back into the past and drive yourself mad. I think it's more fun to be us... looking back as we move forward in life.

I don't choose to make myself miserable...

**girl68** · 12-03-10, 08:14 AM

You CHOOSE not to get the help you so desperately need.

**OneQuestion** · 12-03-10, 08:19 AM

Don't be mean to me

As for choice. There is much that goes into it... like what will she think...will I lose her if she thinks I am worried about marrying her, etc... why would I need a therapist... If she finds out I am worried about her cheating past, will she find me insecure and leave me? Etc...

But, thank you for being so blunt with me. A 3rd peson view is very informative!

**Incognito** · 13-03-10, 02:49 AM

Being blunt means not sugar coating things, which you thanked girl68 for. Why would you say "don't be mean to me" in the same breath. Either you can be coddled, or you can have the truth (which can hurt sometimes). If you cut yourself you can slap a bandage on it and hope for the best simply because applying a bandage is not painful, or you can do it right by using alcohol first (which hurts like hell, but prevents infection).

**Petit Papillon** · 13-03-10, 02:56 AM

OneQuestion , I was telliing the same silly thing as you do before I met my current bf. Once before he was my bf and I was telling him this, he told me something that is so true : there are other even better penises in the world. So there are other even better pussies in the world.
Sometimes the first partner is a jerk/cunt , there's not way to stay in such relationship.

**OneQuestion** · 13-03-10, 04:11 AM

Originally Posted by Incognito

Being blunt means not sugar coating things, which you thanked girl68 for. Why would you say "don't be mean to me" in the same breath. Either you can be coddled, or you can have the truth (which can hurt sometimes). If you cut yourself you can slap a bandage on it and hope for the best simply because applying a bandage is not painful, or you can do it right by using alcohol first (which hurts like hell, but prevents infection).

The 'don't be mean to m'e was more of a joke than a seroius comment. It had some backing to it, as her comments have made me think and they are blunt, but I like the 3rd person view and am not mad at her for it.

**Disillusioned** · 13-03-10, 05:05 AM

I know it shouldn't matter but I'm insecure. I can't hold any number against someone as long as they're responsible but I feel like there's no point in myself getting involved with someone with experience that far outsrips my own. Plenty of guys that were probably better than me. Can't help but feel insignificant and it's a turn off. At 22 I'd been with 5 women. At 27 the score hasn't changed. I could handle it if a woman's been with maybe twice as many guys around the same age as me but I'd rather not know. On the other hand I would love to get "cougar'd" by an experienced woman and I don't care how many she's been with as long as she plays safe and it's not a "chore" for her. The pressure to "perform" is a libido killer too and I feel there's more pressure with more experience but it can depend on the situation and the mood of the moment.

**Perryville** · 13-03-10, 10:41 AM

One?, Dude, where did you ever get the idea that the first love is best? You are either watching waaaaaaaay too much TV and chick flics, or reading romance novels. As Gig pointed out, the first time is just that, the first time. There is nothing "magical', or special about it. My first time was a total clusterf**k, condom broke, tears, wailing and gnashing of teeth. It doesn't matter who she has been with in the past or how many, at least it doesn't matter to HER. This is your issue, YOU are the one bothered and insecure. What we have here, is failure to communicate. If you love her , TALK to HER about it and then the TWO of you can sort it out. The way to be better at sex, is to have MORE of it.

**1337lizard** · 13-03-10, 12:44 PM

Uhhh...to be honest, and maybe this is just because I'm a hopeless romantic, but I would like my girl to have a number lower than 5. I've only had two partners and for both girls I was the second partner so it's worked out for me so far. But to be honest, it depends entirely on the person. Some people will be bothered by it more than others.

**OneQuestion** · 13-03-10, 01:51 PM

Originally Posted by Perryville

One?, Dude, where did you ever get the idea that the first love is best? You are either watching waaaaaaaay too much TV and chick flics, or reading romance novels. As Gig pointed out, the first time is just that, the first time. There is nothing "magical', or special about it. My first time was a total clusterf**k, condom broke, tears, wailing and gnashing of teeth. It doesn't matter who she has been with in the past or how many, at least it doesn't matter to HER. This is your issue, YOU are the one bothered and insecure. What we have here, is failure to communicate. If you love her , TALK to HER about it and then the TWO of you can sort it out. The way to be better at sex, is to have MORE of it.

I dont' care what the first time was LIKE. It was the first time, something you will remember for life. Something that should be shared with the one you will be with forever... perhaps it WOULD HAVE BEEN GOOD, if you were WITH THE RIGHT PERSON...

I know for a first time, I WOULD HAVE PLEASED MY GIRL(she wasn't a virgin), but it wouldn't have hurt... why.. or how do you ask... Well, just because I didn't have sex yet, doesn't mean I wasn't sexual, reading and studing things online(forums, porn, etc.)... I wouldn't have just ****ed her hard the first time. I would have taken it slow, lots of kissing, rubbing, lube(but probably not needed depending on wetness), fingers first(to widen it up, not just stick my large penis in), etc... And even if it did hurt a little, I would have been accepting of this, and not rushed it, gave her oral, made sure I pleased her, etc.... Perhaps your first guy WASN'T the RIGHT guy... Well..Oviously, your not with him...

**Perryville** · 13-03-10, 02:30 PM

Dude, I'm an older man, early thirties, have made love to many women, and it wasn't any better or any worse, regardless of the number of partners that they have had in the past. The only partner who matters, is the one that they are with now. The OP has the chance to make her forget the other guys, don't blow it by being an insecure jerk.

**OneQuestion** · 13-03-10, 02:33 PM

Originally Posted by Perryville

Dude, I'm an older man, early thirties, have made love to many women, and it wasn't any better or any worse, regardless of the number of partners that they have had in the past. The only partner who matters, is the one that they are with now. The OP has the chance to make her forget the other guys, don't blow it by being an insecure jerk.

'It wasn't any better or worse'.. see it seems to me you are talking about the quality of SEX... I am talking about the qulaity of LOVE.

I have made love to a single woman, and am quite proud of that... Just sucks I wasn't her first... I am stuck in this place.

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