Was it a one night stand/fwb or what?

[Wakeup]

Once again (in this post as well as in your other one) I wonder who you're trying to fool? Us or yourself. It's obvious that if you keep having sex with this man that you will wish you could have a relationship with him. As such, my suggestion is that if you come to find that he's not willing to go out with you, hang with you without having sex, only interested in "dates" that are in places where he knows he will get laid etc, then you best distance yourself now and stop pursuing him or you will soon be gutted. You were very upset with the other guy... what will you be like with this one when he doesn't feel the same way you obviously are feeling? (already).

[scd]

OK he replied, just over 24 hours later.
I had suggested we go to an outdoor cinema and included the link in my email. He replied and said that he's away for work until the end of July and then again at the beginning of August. Then he asked what the dates of the cinema were (when I had already linked directly to the website). Hmm...

To be honest, after pondering it I'm kind of over it. I never did want a relationship with him in the first place. I only ever wanted to be good friends. Like I said it would be nice to have a relationship but really it's just not meant to be.

In fact I'm kind of over guys in general. All it does it give me grief. Why bother... Hey I'm miserable alone but at least I don't have to suffer heartbreak when I'm alone. HOnestly I don't care anymore, I don't care if he sees me again or not.

[FeelingCalledL]

OK he replied, just over 24 hours later.
I had suggested we go to an outdoor cinema and included the link in my email. He replied and said that he's away for work until the end of July and then again at the beginning of August. Then he asked what the dates of the cinema were (when I had already linked directly to the website). Hmm...

To be honest, after pondering it I'm kind of over it. I never did want a relationship with him in the first place. I only ever wanted to be good friends. Like I said it would be nice to have a relationship but really it's just not meant to be.

In fact I'm kind of over guys in general. All it does it give me grief. Why bother... Hey I'm miserable alone but at least I don't have to suffer heartbreak when I'm alone. HOnestly I don't care anymore, I don't care if he sees me again or not.

I am sorry. Please don't give up hope. The truth is that most of the good women and men out there are taken. But don't give up hope. Love will come sooner or later.

[scd]

Thanks. That's very nice but I have given up hope. I remember wanting a boyfriend since I was 13 or 14. So it's been 20 years that I've wanted something. I'm tired of waiting and being patient. Meanwhile, my friends are not only married but have kids too... The more I try the more I fail. The more heartbreak I give myself. Apart from that I've just had a really really rough month. I wish more than anything I had a boyfriend who could console me but it just been a shit, awful month and so far it doesn't look to be getting any better.

[Mathias]

Thanks. That's very nice but I have given up hope. I remember wanting a boyfriend since I was 13 or 14. So it's been 20 years that I've wanted something. I'm tired of waiting and being patient. Meanwhile, my friends are not only married but have kids too... The more I try the more I fail. The more heartbreak I give myself. Apart from that I've just had a really really rough month. I wish more than anything I had a boyfriend who could console me but it just been a shit, awful month and so far it doesn't look to be getting any better.

If you need a boyfriend to make you feel better, you need to figure some stuff out.

[Wakeup]

In fact I'm kind of over guys in general. All it does it give me grief. Why bother... Hey I'm miserable alone but at least I don't have to suffer heartbreak when I'm alone. HOnestly I don't care anymore, I don't care if he sees me again or not.

You just have to change how you date that's all. You seem to be very naive when it comes to meeting men. You fall for them before you've even met them and you have sex with them too soon when you have met them.

If you want to get what you want then you have to be a little more discerning on who you give your heart to. You have to suffer a bit and hold back on sleeping together and you definately do not invite them to your bed before you are certain that they value you and want to have you in their entire life.. (even if your intentions are not to have sex) not just for a bit of lovin. You can't find those things out in two ocassions of being in each others company or through internet interaction either.

Don't invite men to your bed if you don't plan on making love to them. Keep your bed for your single sleeping pleasure or to make love in. Don't make love in it (or any other bed) until you are sure of how he values you.

Good luck, don't give up just change how you do things is all.

Forget this guy, he's not interested in anything serious and if you see him when he gets through with this "work thing" (bs) and calls you up then don't see him. He will break your heart as sure a shit. You are NOT the casual sexual relationship type.

[FeelingCalledL]

:-(

I know exactly how you feel. Most of the time life throws all the sh*t to us at the same time.

Make sure you keep doing things that make you happy. Things you enjoy. Make sure you keep in touch with family and friends. You need all the support you can get.

Regarding the boyfriend thing, I was wondering. Are you being to picky or fussy maybe? Are you maybe ignoring the nice men that want to be with you and go after people who you don't really have a chance with? It hard to believe that in those 20 years there were not a lot of men interested in you. But then again what do I know. However it is a common pit-fall for women to be too fussy and picky and that's the only reason I am mentioning it.

In the mean time don't have as your target to find a boyfriend. Just go the gym, take good care of yourself and a boyfriend will eventually come.

[FeelingCalledL]

If you need a boyfriend to make you feel better, you need to figure some stuff out.

Doesn't everybody need somebody to love?

[scd]

OK a bit of background information...

1. One I am not the type to sleep around. I lost my virginity at age 26 and I do not sleep with guys until at least 2 months of dating.
2. I have just spent the past 10 months living overseas thousands and thousands of miles from my family and friends. I've only been in my current town/country for 2 months. I have not seen my family for 10 months (that's including last Christmas,) nada. Can you blame me for feeling a bit isolated, alone, needy, etc? Yeah sure I have made and try to make friends but it's not as easy to make real true friends in such a short space of time. Regarding Mathias' comment "if I need a boyfriend to make me happy".. when I was back home I didn't feel like this at all. That's because I had plenty of friends as well as my family around me. But here I have noone and nothing. Hence why I feel it would be nice to have someone special and not have to do every single bloody thing alone or try to find someone to do something with when I barely know anyone.

[Wakeup]

Further to above:

To be honest, after pondering it I'm kind of over it. I never did want a relationship with him in the first place. I only ever wanted to be good friends. Like I said it would be nice to have a relationship but really it's just not meant to be.

Why do you keep lying to yourself? You didn't just want to be "good friends." You know that, we know that, he knows that and that is why he's spewing you bullshit about being away for a month of work.

WTH does this man do that he needs to be away from his home base for a month?

PS to address post above: Look on the internet for groups who do things that interest you in your area and join them. You have to be a friend to make a friend. You'd be better off finding some single females in order to go out scouting together for some decent men.

[scd]

He's not spewing me bullshit though. Because he's in the entertainment industry. I can actually see on the internet when he has gigs in nearby towns. a

I'm over the idea of being with him!! or anyone at this moment.

[FeelingCalledL]

Let me guess; you are originally from a southern country? Warm southern people cannot understand the northern cold people. There is simply no common ground. Period! For southern people everything is about feelings and passion. For Northern its all about logic.

For meeting people in your area try: couchsurfing or meetup. I found them pretty good.

EDIT: Also try to hookup with people from your country. They make better friends as you have the same background.

[scd]

:-(

Regarding the boyfriend thing, I was wondering. Are you being to picky or fussy maybe? Are you maybe ignoring the nice men that want to be with you and go after people who you don't really have a chance with? It hard to believe that in those 20 years there were not a lot of men interested in you. But then again what do I know. However it is a common pit-fall for women to be too fussy and picky and that's the only reason I am mentioning it.

Actually I think you have a point. The problem is nice guys (sometimes, not all the time) is that I don't get that chemistry.. it feels like they are just a friend or a brotherly figure. I don't know why that is. There are guys who like me but I'm not interested in them romantically at all. Actually it's always my main problem. Unrequited love (from either party).

I wouldn't say I'm overly picky or fussy going by my exes, but at the moment I know I'm not in the right frame of mind to be with anymore.

Thanks for your advice though.

[scd]

Let me guess; you are originally from a southern country? Warm southern people cannot understand the northern cold people. There is simply no common ground. Period! For southern people everything is about feelings and passion. For Northern its all about logic.

For meeting people in your area try: couchsurfing or meetup. I found them pretty good.

EDIT: Also try to hookup with people from your country. They make better friends as you have the same background.

Yes I am actually! ...

I've tried those sites and others like it. The problem with making friends is (and I have no problem doing so) is that you see them once or twice and then never again. I also find it so hard because:
* couples - just seem to want to stay at home and not go out much with others (and if so, it's always with other couples)
* single females - can be very competitive and bitchy
* single males - I never know where I stand with them and if I just want to be friends and they want more, it's awkward...

I would love to have more single female friends but the majority around my age are coupled up and/or have families (boring for me as I do not want to hang around couples all the time.. it makes me feel like crap).. then the younger ones I find are just into the party scene which I'm not really into.

[FeelingCalledL]

Yes I am actually! ...

I've tried those sites and others like it. The problem with making friends is (and I have no problem doing so) is that you see them once or twice and then never again. I also find it so hard because:
* couples - just seem to want to stay at home and not go out much with others (and if so, it's always with other couples)
* single females - can be very competitive and bitchy
* single males - I never know where I stand with them and if I just want to be friends and they want more, it's awkward...

I would love to have more single female friends but the majority around my age are coupled up and/or have families (boring for me as I do not want to hang around couples all the time.. it makes me feel like crap).. then the younger ones I find are just into the party scene which I'm not really into.

As I said try to find people from your country. As a Greek living in UK for 6 years I have found it I can understand and communicate much better with Greek or in general people of similar culture, eg. Spanish.

And now I can understand why sleeping with this guy raised your hopes for a relationship. I was too shocked to hear from my ex in the beginings of our relationship that although we were sleeping together for a couple of weeks now she wouldn't yet considerate us as a couple.

So yes, maybe I am a bit biased by my own story but stay away from Northern people. They lack soul.