how do you get over a broken heart at Christmas?

[smackie9]

Why? because when I was dumped out of the blue by a BF it was because he got drunk and cheated on me.

[dollhouse]

That makes sense. He was doing it long before the night before he texted me to call him and labelled it as IMPORTANT! How much longer before, I dunno.

Never should have let me believe he'd spend Christmas with me and my family, or let me spend what I did on him for gifts. It's like he wanted to hurt me more than a usual break up would hurt, so do it right before Christmas or like some other guys right before a girls bday. It's ****ed up. Didn't enjoy Christmas, cried alot and now new years is coming and we had tickets to a big party, that is ****ed over too.

Thanks all who posted xxx

[smackie9]

Hopefully you will get some kind of closure soon. Whatever happened will eventually come out. I had to wait weeks....he was such a frickin coward.

[dollhouse]

None yet, not one word, call, or text since the 26 th talk. Coward!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and he was all loving, sweet, I love you's right up until the moment he decided NOW I want out before Christmas.

Last night was brutal for me because I know he was out celebrating with them, couldn't even check to see if I was okay and we spent almost two years together.

Great start to 2015 for me. I'd like to know how long he was cheating and why he chose right before Christmas to make his move

[smackie9]

You have no proof of anything, or the reason why. Like I said it took weeks for me to find out. Don't let this eat at you. Call up some girlie friends and go out.

[tayhei]

Hey, sorry for the delayed reply. To your previous question, I believe he broke up with you right before the holidays because of the pressure they cause. Imagine knowing you don't want to be with someone before the holidays and then you are obligated to spend time with them, while pretending everything is fine.

It could be he broke up right before because he didn't want to go through the holidays with you. I say this because I broke up with my boyfriend the week before Thanksgiving. I had been trying to work out our problems beforehand, but then I saw that he didn't want to try and decided to end it before I turned into a bitter person, trying my best to pretend nothing's wrong while sticking it out through the holidays. It didn't matter what plans he tried to make with me, or the presents he contemplated on getting me, or the exams that would be killer getting through during a breakup. I couldn't pretend to be someone I'm not after knowing it wasn't working out.

Or he cheated. But I wouldn't draw any conclusions about that without any evidence.

[Jffs24]

His timing wasn't right, you don't get over a broken heart at Christmas so don't try it will ease up after throughout January -- I'd ebay or craigslist or something his gifts, definitely don't give them to the dude.

[dollhouse]

Thank you.
Smackie9, tayhei and Jffs24.

Smackie9 and Tayhei, I do know he cheated he said so basically and said that was why and when I asked do I know who he said I know of them. Vague in all his replies to my questions. I don't know when, exact person with, why he chose to and why he picked before Christmas to break up. Awaiting those answers

Jffs24, I will do that and put for sale when feelin more up to it, maybe in 2 weeks.

[tayhei]

I'm so sorry he's done this to you. It is one of the most hurtful things a SO can do to you my brother also found out his gf cheated behind his back recently and he was devastated. He didn't know firsthand from her, but from friends who knew about it and they told him after he was getting over their initial breakup. He was moving on just fine, but then they told him and he was so upset.

Sometimes I think it's better not to know the details. It will only hurt you more. If I was you, honestly, I wouldn't want to ask anything else. He cheated and that's that. I wouldn't want to give him the chance to worm his way out of the situation with excuses.

[dollhouse]

Thank you, tayhei. I sent a text today asking to have a face to face again and get all the answers I need and big shocker no reply. If I need to I'll go over and have a sit down with his mom that should solve things quickly.

I'm sorry your brother is going through all the same pain too, hope both him and I heal quicker than I expect we will. That's horrible that she didn't admit her guilt his friends had to out her, hope he gets his closure from her too.

After he said I know of them I need to know because it might tell me how long this was going on, where he can try to lie I can timeline it through others But don't you think he deserves to be made uncomfortable by telling me the real truth? I am already hurt, I don't feel it could be worse right now.

[smackie9]

Female roommate by any chance??

- - - Updated - - -

Thank you.
Smackie9, tayhei and Jffs24.

Smackie9 and Tayhei, I do know he cheated he said so basically and said that was why and when I asked do I know who he said I know of them. Vague in all his replies to my questions. I don't know when, exact person with, why he chose to and why he picked before Christmas to break up. Awaiting those answers

Jffs24, I will do that and put for sale when feelin more up to it, maybe in 2 weeks.

He f'd up, and it wasn't planned, ....I know not everyone plans to cheat. I'm sure he withheld the info because he knew what it would do to you, this whole thing is devastating to him too. There's no way he could go through Christmas and pretend like nothing happened. I bet his friends told him to not bother putting on an act and to man up.

People do make horrible mistakes from making bad decisions fueled by alcohol. Did it myself once. I know your ex feels terrible about what it has done to you, and is regretful. He is living with the pain as well because he lost you and the relationship because he was stupid. It doesn't justify what he did, no never, but shit happens because life happens. He's feeling ashamed and guilty. He will rise above it, muster up the courage to come clean with you. So sorry it happened to you. I remember how devastated I was when it happened to me. At least he told you instead of like what happened to me, hanging by a thread for weeks.

[pcmaster]

Thats stupid to break up before Christmas - he didnt even received his gifts. Then again some guys broke up before Christmas so they dont have to give a gift to a GF lol.

[anya_may21]

Oh that is awful, dollhouse found your thread off your post mention in off topics.

That's cruel to do a break before a big event, or holiday. I agree with a lot of what tayhei and smackie9 has told you.

Sell gifts and get your closure and if that means hitting up his mom, I would assume a 2 year relationship with him you know his mom very well and if she liked you she will help give some closure or insist her son does.

Do you think it started as an emotional workplace affair? Or a friend he had in the background?

Sorry for any pain he caused you and hope things feel better for you sooner not later.

[dollhouse]

Thank you again, smackie9 and pcmaster and anya_may21. No new news to tell any of you yet, when there is I will post it.

[MENTION=47273]smackie9[/MENTION] - do you feel his avoidance is guilt and feeling ashamed to talk again with me, or happy to have told and is done with me? I can't tell which he feels, maybe a bit of both. Why couldn't he have broken up with me in Nov. then or at least not let me think right up until he was spending Christmas with me and my family and he loved me? That's cruel to actively deceive me in that way. Angers me more every day now.

[MENTION=42177]pcmaster[/MENTION] - we knew each other for over two years and dated for almost two of those and spent Christmas together last year and exchanged gifts, I don't think buying me gifts was his issues sadly.

[MENTION=76419]anya_may21[/MENTION] - I am deciding to give him another week to meet up and discuss and if not I will meet up and discuss during the day that week with his mother, let him get an earful from her possibly, if not I am sure his mom will say who showed for their Christmas meal with him I am sure he didn't go alone.

I was thinking a co worker too, but I just do not know for sure, possibly an ex GF of one of his friends too.

[smackie9]

Do you know for sure he is seeing someone? It could have been a drunken one night thing just before Christmas when he went out with his friends.