Why the heck did he freak out?

[Only-virgins]

He freaked out? why?

[ExpoNovak]

Once a guy tried to "force" my sister to give him oral sex and I had to "force" my fist into his face a couple of times to help him understand what is and is not appropriate. Period. That is not appropriate. Certain things can be playfully done within the context of a long-term relationship that will look and feel strange to a relationship just getting off the ground (and I do mean playfully. Anyone being "forced" into oral sex needs to hit the road and never look back).

And virgins are a turn-on. If this guy could not sustain an erection then my guess is that his problem is physical and you are not the first to experience it. You have every right to be nervous or scared. You're a VIRGIN and its your God-given right. If he interprets that as "cold" then he is a complete asshole. Do NOT give him the goodies. Share them with nice guys. We still exist, I swear.

[vashti]

He freaked out? why?

He has lost his ability to be patient because he is too old for her.

Actually, OV - what she needs is someone like you.

[Only-virgins]

He has lost his ability to be patient because he is too old for her.

Actually, OV - what she needs is someone like you.

What do you need patience for? You are telling me he is not willing to waste an extra 10 seconds to put it in?

[Gigabitch]

Jeeze, don't give this guy another thought. The only reason you have any patience with him is because you don't have enough experience with other (read: normal) guys to know what to expect.

Believe me when I tell you he is really odd, Weirdy. If the situation was such that he couldn't even get an erection, you don't want to have sex with him. Good sex is worth waiting for. Your first time probably won't be stellar, but it shouldn't be like that.

He sounds pretty selfish to me. What does he have going for him that makes you put up with such a situation? Is he incredibly good-looking? Treats you like a queen? What?

[weirdy]

Certain things can be playfully done within the context of a long-term relationship that will look and feel strange to a relationship just getting off the ground (and I do mean playfully. Anyone being "forced" into oral sex needs to hit the road and never look back)...

Agree! And thnx for that "we do exist" part... Right now, I'm in that "they're all the same" state of mind..I talked to a friend of mine, and he told me how "virgins are pain in the ass for every man"..

Jeeze, don't give this guy another thought. The only reason you have any patience with him is because you don't have enough experience with other (read: normal) guys to know what to expect.

I hope you're right

Believe me when I tell you he is really odd, Weirdy. If the situation was such that he couldn't even get an erection, you don't want to have sex with him. Good sex is worth waiting for. Your first time probably won't be stellar, but it shouldn't be like that.

Actually, after some time, he got an erection, but I insisted on him wearing a condom..and when he puts it on...party's over
But, the first time we were together, before he knew he was my first, I was more relaxed (because I wasn't worried about his opinion, would he be more reserved and feel uncomfortable if he knew that fact about me.. It's not that I'm ashamed of being a virgin, it's just that I assumed that he was one of those men that easily freak out in those situations). So, that first time, I did the blowjob thing (didn't enjoyed it..felt pretty indifferent about it, to be honest.. but I wanted to please him that night).. we were playing around, he didn't wear condom, and everything was fine.
But the second time..was our last

I'm telling you this because I don't agree that, just if someone couldn't get an erection one night, I should forget about him for good. There are bunch of reasons why someone can't get an erection. But yes, I definitely should forget about this particular guy, because he blamed me for everything, and refused to understand how I felt.

He sounds pretty selfish to me. What does he have going for him that makes you put up with such a situation? Is he incredibly good-looking? Treats you like a queen? What?

Yes, he is selfish. But then again, you can say that about me, too..not giving him what he asked for (so he could satisfy me...a vicious circle.)

And why am I putting up with such a situation? Now, that's a good question... Before that awful night, I thought he was an interesting person, with wide range of interests, just like myself.. And we had some great conversations, I could talk to him about anything.. like with no other person, male or female. But, in that fight we had, he told me how all that talking was about getting me to bed (not in those words, but that's what he meant)..and how all the girls fall for the exact same psychoanalysis bullshit, no matter how smart they are (and all that time I actually thought he was really interested in that kind of stuff..and God, he was talking about his own personality..how he lacks self-esteem and tries to work that out, blahblah.. I actually believed he was comfortable talking to me about sth so intimate..while he only wanted to talk about himself, no matter who listens..if someone's listening at all. )