how to dump a nice girl

[Cain]

Exes can eventually be friends but it takes time. There's no way that she can be friends with him if the breakup isn't mutual. It will hurt too much and she will likely accept the friendship as a way to have some kind of emotional touch with him even if it hurts her.

[paul_mot]

I will try to time it when I will be leaving for another city, at the same time, I dont want to think if she will be able to continue on her own.

she is a student now, and she is independent, she works and studies, I would be very glad to keep in touch with her, to help her, and see if she is fine, But i won't.

[carl1222]

Exes can eventually be friends but it takes time. There's no way that she can be friends with him if the breakup isn't mutual. It will hurt too much and she will likely accept the friendship as a way to have some kind of emotional touch with him even if it hurts her.

Not following this concise and well-put advice is probably the #1 reason that people suffer protracted pain after an unwanted breakup. The world is full of people who are starving on a diet of love crumbs. I would only add that it's up to the person who no longer wants the relationship to break it off completely ... the other person won't have the strength to do it by themselves.

Carl.

[lesa]

she is a student now, and she is independent, she works and studies, I would be very glad to keep in touch with her, to help her, and see if she is fine, But i won't.

lol hahaha. No problem. If you guys are not a match then there's no real point trying to keep any contact because you were a couple in the past. Not everyone can or want to do that. That's perfectly fine. If you feel this way it doesn't make sense to stay with her now. I would make a quick, clean break. Do it now. You don't ever have to talk to her again.

[DoesntMatter]

Give her the golden showers and tell her thats what you think of her when youre done

[lesa]

Exes can eventually be friends but it takes time. There's no way that she can be friends with him if the breakup isn't mutual. It will hurt too much and she will likely accept the friendship as a way to have some kind of emotional touch with him even if it hurts her.

Not following this concise and well-put advice is probably the #1 reason that people suffer protracted pain after an unwanted breakup. The world is full of people who are starving on a diet of love crumbs. I would only add that it's up to the person who no longer wants the relationship to break it off completely ... the other person won't have the strength to do it by themselves.

Carl.

I made a mistake using the term friend. That's too strong of a term and I see that there are misunderstandings on what I mean. I mean that there is nothing wrong with being an acquaintance. You don't have to fear seeing or talking to them if you both are okay with that. If he breaks up with her because they were not a great match, there is no problem keeping them as an acquaintance if they both agree (a cheating or abusive relationship does not apply here).

It's strange to me to know that people completely avoid their former lover if the relationship was not a bad one--they were just not compatible. And they were not married...I would be pissed if my husband wants to break up with me but a boyfriend is not a husband. Who assumes they will spend a lifetime together with their bf or gf? Who puts that much energy to a bf/gf relationship? If I’m not at least engaged, I wouldn’t “kill myself” because he wants to end the bf/gf relationship. And I would still talk to him if I see him somewhere or if he called me as long as he understands there will be no relationship or any other type of intimacy between us.

The OP states that he doesn't want anything to do with her so that ends that. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that at all.

[carl1222]

lesa, that wasn't directed at your comment at all ... I just wanted to highlight the simple and general truth that Cain expressed.

And I agree with you and others that she deserves a thorough explanation for why she is being dumped so she doesn't blame herself. I would never suggest that he say something like "We're breaking up, I don't want to see or talk to you again, see ya!!!"

But I still think that SHE will be much better off without any contact from him, even as an acquaintance or an advisor because that's not what she wants from him, and it will only prolong her pain.

Carl.