question about the "no contact" strategy

[Mish]

So if I use the "no contact" rule in efforts of getting my ex back...

You don't use "no contact" to "get an ex back". You use it to help yourself get better and break the emotional chains that bind you to that person. Forget everything to do with her, give yourself some space, relax, go out and have a good time. If she misses you she will let you know. Most likely she won't, but this will help you move on.

[brokenhearted33]

aye this whole time i thought i was using NC in effort to get her back some day... lol

[Yggdrasil]

Yggdrasil - my ex now says shes going on a small trip to florida (we're from norcal) in a couple of weeks and she wants to know if i want to join her. what do i do? sounds like she's trying to get things back to the way they were pre-relationship and establish us as friends again huh? ugh...

Don't go.. politely decline.

[Yggdrasil]

The NC strategy works both ways:

A: it psychologicaly prepares you to get over your ex and have your expectations low.
B: she is getting the space she needs, thus being able to contemplate and make a decission without you involved. That decission can be that she returns to the relation or not.

So yes, NC can be used to get an ex back, but it's not a miracle cure.