advice needed badly - please help

[Lipp]

Just out of curiosity, what kind of women do you attempt to date?
Say for example if you only desire other pretty-looking girls (or date through dating sites) there's a fair chance that they're into looks, but if you have a go without great demands in that field it might work out better. If you're still studying it shouldn't be difficult to have a chat with lasses here and there, if working it's tougher.

No offense, but I have to say that if you don't even have any women around that you hang out with as friends, well, to be honest that makes it sound as if your personality doesn't suit women in general.

[ecojeanne]

ok i get it, you are definitely upset at not being able to find a girl, your angry and upset...understandable... i don't think you have any other 'serious' personality issues....did you ever try speed dating? or dance classes? or acting classes (acting classes will open up your personality more) i dunno what else to suggest really

[starbuck]

I trust you when you say you're a nice guy, Sig, but you are being VERY defensive. You're expecting people to be sensitive to you, but showing very little sensitivity to others right now quite frankly. You get what you give, hun.

You want an atypical response from me? Ok, I will give it my best go:

I feel it is your BELIEF system that is causing you a lot more distress than anything right now. You believe that women are shallow, looks-obsessed, and mostly into white guys. If that is true why do we look around and see plenty of people of all races, body types, and ages in relationships, right? If you think that people only met each other and started dating when they were "young and hot," you're mistaken. They date at all ages. If you continue to believe otherwise, you will feel hopeless.

You may think that people were being "judgemental". But the fact that you said you cry yourself to sleep every night over the fact that you don't have a girlfriend makes it seem like you are pretty depressed above and beyond your dating life. I mean, was what you said an exaggeration? Because crying yourself to sleep every night does not seem like a healthy way to deal with loneliness in my opinion. You have to stop wallowing in it. Get out there and distract yourself. If nights are bad for you, maybe you should go to the gym at night or join a social group that meets in the evenings?

What else do you want people to say to you? Believe it or not, we're trying to help.

[Dasein]

why are people being judgemental here?

THERE ARE NO OTHER ISSUES!!!!!!!

I'm a very professional person, are educated, have my head screwed on unlike most - there are no issues. the issue is that I cannot find someone to be in a relationship with as they do not give me a chance.

please LISTEN and READ rather than being judgemental and coming to your own incorrect conclusions

I DO love myself (not in a stuck up way like most people)....the problem is that women are judgemental as its all about looks


we all cannot be pretty ok...facts are facts, get with the times - sorry to be harsh but there we are.

I AM confident - no issues there. But it doesnt give ANYONE the right to judge you based on looks, im sure you wouldnt like it would you?


nevermind, whats the point..... had enough. sorry to even have signed up thinking I would get some sympathy or some decent guidance - not the guidance you are thinking of.... I apologise.

well, it just shows that I should never be with anyone, because clearly thats what everyone is like and you are hinting it. I am a VERY positive person but there comes a time where there is only so much you as a person you can do, the rest is dependant on the other people you interact with.

maybe is is YOU that need to change your thinking? its easier to point the finger on someone else without knowing them or being judgemental than looking and understanding yourself from outside the box.

see, this is the problem. putting someone down (then how do you expect them to jump up without any support?) for no reason without not getting to know them or what the real problem is. I am honest to myself, always have been - no lies, no mind games...no nothing. take it or leave it


enjoy your relationships. hope you are happy

Damn! Have you actually re read this post. You come across as very hostile. We are trying to assist in a limited environment. We can only see what we read. If you sound depressed in your post we will comment on it. There is no need to react this way. All you need to do is just say "guys it is really like this.." and we will listen. Many will just call it as we see it.

I'm sorry if you want to hear that all women suck and are shallow gold diggers..or whatever beef you have with them. I can't do this though. Ever heard of the saying "there is someone for everyone".

However based on your above post I am starting to realise WHY you may not have a significant other. Don't listen to our advise if you don't need it. I know I won't be crying myself to sleep.

PS - you brought this on yourself.