Originally Posted by
Cain
I'm just not sure when to tell her that since I'm not supposed to be talking about our relationship. Should I just wait until the beginning of December before mentioning it?
Well, complete no contact wasn't my advice. One only does that when you are trying to get over someone & need to reinforce the fact you are never going to be together. That's not your situation. Not yet anyway, and hopefully not ever.
My advice is to let her settle into her new routine for about a month or so. Let the emotions subside. If she contacts you, great, be light & polite. Don't pressure her by asking questions about the longterm direction of the relationship. LET HER MISS YOU.
After a few weeks of this, I would try for a visit. Try to make it such that neither of you are under too much stress from your studies. I would try to go for a weekend. Spend Friday just having light fun together, then arrange to be together all Sat & most of Sun. On Sat, that's when you find time alone together (someplace pleasant? a park/picnic?) and spend several hours discussing your relationship. If necessary, back off & try again Sunday.
You have every right to not be stuck in relationship limbo by her. You deserve to know you are a priority in her life & you are well within your rights to give her a definite time frame to decide what she wants from a relationship w/you (or doesn't). But, as they say, timing is everything. If you demand something from someone at a time when they just aren't capable of giving it, chances are that person WILL just leave you to get away from the pressure.
Again, think about all of this before taking any action.
Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
--Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh